


Kick Off Your Sunday Shoes

by DanieMarie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Barriss is a bitch, Ben dates Barriss at first, Ben is slowly dying from Blue Balls, Ben just wants to feel loved, Capoeira, Dancing, Dancing Lessons, Enjoy some song lyrics, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Footloose AU, Genderswap, High School, Luke is a hypocrite, Luke really does want to save Ben's soul, No need for Birds and Bees, Parking lot brawl, Poe's a charmer, Prom, Rey just wants to dance, Rose and Finn will make a cute old couple, Sad backstory on both sides, Southwest Sunsets, Teen Angst, Teen Crush, Thirsty Rey (Star Wars), Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Zorri just wants to be a good mom., but not for long, fic stays T rated (sorry)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2020-05-02 07:23:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 62,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19194361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanieMarie/pseuds/DanieMarie
Summary: Based off the movie Footloose ('84). Rey loves to dance. So she's crushed to hear the new town she's moved to has banned  dancing. The locals don't seem to trust her. The preacher thinks her a hellraiser. And on top of it all, the preacher's nephew might have a thing for her. And Rey knows that's a whole can of worms she shouldn't open. Rather than accepting the status quo, Rey and her new found allies will take on the establishment and ask for a change of heart.





	1. Welcome To Nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank AttackoftheDarkCurses for this story idea.

   Rey sighed for the umtheeth time. It was hot. It was boring. It was...ass backwards. If she was asked to describe her new hometown of Jedha, Utah, that is what she’d say.

   She understood why her and her adoptive mom had to move. Living near Chicago wasn’t financially easy when being a freelancer was your career of choice. So when Zorri broke the news to her that they were packing up and moving in with her brother’s family in Utah, Rey had swallowed, put on a stiff upper lip and nodded.

   What was she gonna do? Cry about it? Rey would have found such behavior disrespectful. And she felt she owed Zorri, in a way. She’d taken her in when nobody else seemed like they wanted to. So Rey collected her high school records, her few possessions, said goodbye to her few friends, and left.

   She’d told herself to think of it as an adventure. The next chapter in her life’s story. But it was hard to be excited as they got closer to Jedha. And now that they’d been here a few days, that feeling had manifested itself into a bitter taste she seemed unable to get rid of.  And sitting on this pew, in this overcrowded church, listening to this crazed man shout was not making it any better. This was the highlight of the whole town’s Sunday apparently.

 

   “And he is testing us! Every, every day, our Lord is testing us. If he wasn't testing us, how would you account for the sorry state of our society? For the crimes that plague the big cities of this country? When he could sweep this pestilence from the face of the earth with one mighty gesture of his hand.”

 

   Rey watched as the grey haired man paused as if in thought.

 

   “If our Lord wasn't testing us, how would you account for the proliferation these days of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality? If our Lord wasn't testing us, why, he could take all these pornographic books and albums, and turn them into one big fiery cinder like that!”

 

   Rey looked at those seated around her who nodded their heads. _Is this guy for real?_

 

    “But how would that make us stronger for him? One of these days, my Lord is gonna come to me and ask me for an explanation for the lives of each and every one of you. And what am I gonna tell him on that day? That I was busy? That I was tired? That I was bored?! No!! I can never let up! I welcome his test! I welcome this challenge from my Lord so that one day I can deliver all of you unto his hands, and when that day dawns, I don't wanna have to do any explaining! I don't want to be missing from your lives! ...Amen.”

 

   The sanctuary buzzed with mumbled replies of “Amen”. Rey glanced over to Zorri and was met with a sympathetic smile and the slight shrug of her shoulders.

 

   “If you will turn to your hymnals...What A Friend We Have In Jesus.”

 

   Rey sighed once more and stood with the rest of the congregation. At least she liked to sing she supposed.  


	2. I'd Like You To Meet...

   Ben had been around long enough to become numb to his uncle’s scolding sermons that he gave almost every Sunday. He really didn’t even have to try to tune him out anymore. All he had to do was stare out the window and let his mind wander. 

 

_    Just one more school year. One more. And I’ll leave this dusty dump behind. See the world. ....There’s no way in hell I’m staying here _ .  

 

   He felt an elbow nudge him then and he looked over to see Poe nodding his head towards the other row of pews to his right. “New girl’s pretty cute, huh?” his friend whispered. Ben let his eyes wander over the known faces until he found one that was  new. She had a round face with petite features, straightened chestnut brown hair, wide almond-shaped eyes; eyes that had stopped their exploration and were now looking back at him.

   Ben looked away and shrugged. He supposed she was cute. 

 

~

 

   Rey followed Zorri and her family out through the doors single file. Reaching the steps, her uncle stopped and shook the preacher’s hand. 

 

   “Reverend, enjoyed the sermon today.”

   “Well I’m glad to hear it.”

   “I’d like you to meet my sister, Zorri, and her daughter, Rey,” Terry said, motioning over at them. “Zorri, this is Reverend Luke Skywalker.”

   The grey haired man - Skywalker- stuck out his hand towards them and shook both their hands. “Nice to meet you Zorri. Rey. I understand you’re new in town.”

   Rey’s mother smiled politely. “Yes, we are. We arrived earlier this week.”

   Skywalker nodded. “And how do you like our little town so far?”

   “Oh...well it certainly is different than Chicago. But everyone’s been very kind and welcoming.”

   “Well I’m glad to hear it. You’ll come to find that Jedha is a wonderful community. And Rey, have you gotten enrolled in the local school yet?”

   “Yes sir.”

   Luke smiled but then looked out behind her. “Ben! Over here a moment please.” 

 

   He waved towards a group of boys laughing amongst themselves as they headed towards the parking lot. One in particular, the tall one with the long hair that had looked over at her stopped in his tracks to look over at them. Rey watched as his large shoulders moved with a visible sigh. He then waved his hand as if in dismissal at the other two that had been sitting with him during the service, then turned and headed towards their group. 

   Rey felt she was far enough away to safely look him over. He was tall, especially so now that he was almost right in front of her. 

 

_    Jeez, he made it over here in like...three steps! _

 

   “This is my nephew, Ben,” Luke stated. “Ben, this is Rey and her mother Zorri. They’re new here and Rey will be attending your school this year. Make sure you and your friends make her feel welcome.” 

 

   Rey thought that last bit sounded a little forced, as if in warning. But she didn’t turn to see the older man’s face. She wasn’t sure she could. Ben’s gaze had shifted from his uncle onto her and she felt as if she’d been pinned in place. His face was void of emotion, save for his eyes. They’d appeared almost black when they’d briefly made eye contact inside. But now, in the bright sunlight, Rey could see a touch of amber in the dark brown that was now looking over her; much in the same way she’d done to him. 

   A clipped hello in a deep voice was all he offered. Rey offered an indifferent sounding greeting in return. Ben’s expressive eyes bore into her for a second longer then flicked up to Luke before he turned and headed towards a black Wrangler. 

 

~

 

   “And?” Poe asked as Ben got into the driver’s seat. 

   “And what?” he grumbled, turning his key.

   “The girl.”

   Ben tightened his jaw and pulled out onto the road with a roar from the engine. “Her name’s Rey.”

   “Ray?” his ginger haired friend, Armie, spat. “That’s a boy’s name.”

   Ben shrugged. “That’s what Luke told me.”

   “I don’t know,” Poe said ruefully. “Ray don’t sound so bad when it’s paired with a pretty face.”

   Armie scrunched his pale freckled nose. “Makes me think of some fat trucker passing through.”

   Poe burst out laughing from the back seat. Ben fought the twinge of a smile.

 

_    Rey definitely does not fit that description. At all.  _


	3. Hanging Out

   Sonic was kind of a lame place for a hangout, Ben thought, but most of the seniors had chosen it due to the fact that it was a couple miles from the town. And it had plenty of space for everyone’s truck or car. Personally he liked hanging out at the freight yard better, but Sonic was the place they were to meet up with Barriss and her friends. 

 

   Ben was shaken out of his thoughts by the honk of a horn. He looked over to see a red nineteen eighty-four Z28 Chevy Camaro zoom up beside him, with Barriss riding shotgun. 

 

   “Evening ladies!” Poe yelled over the noise of wind.

   “Hey Poe!” Tallie and Jessica called back.

   “Kylo, baby, can I ride with you?”

 

   Ben glanced over to see Barriss already standing up through the T-top roof. He flashed her a grin and drove the Wrangler right next to the Camaro. The girls whooped in excitement. 

 

   “Poe, help her in.”

 

   Poe patted Ben’s shoulder and leaned over the side, holding onto the rollbar for support. 

 

   “Go for it!” Ben yelled. He watched as she placed her foot onto the door. 

   “Barriss, this is crazy!” Tallie yelled. “Get back in here! Your gonna get yourself killed!”

   Barriss laughed then raised her arms in the air and crowed. Ben’s smile faded as he caught sight of an eighteen wheeler heading their way. 

 

   “Christ, Kylo!” Armie swore as he grabbed the handlebar and pressed himself into the seat.

 

   The girls were now screaming for Barriss to get back in the car, Tallie swerving the Camaro and Ben trying his best to keep beside her. 

 

   “I can’t reach her,” Poe yelled in his ear.

   Ben tore his eyes away from the oncoming tractor trailer and looked at Barriss. “Sit or jump. Now!” 

 

   Ben didn’t look back to see what she decided. He waited till the last second, the truck driver blaring his horn, before he peeled away from the Camaro and swerved out of the truck’s way. Ben could barely hear Poe call out that he’d caught her over Armie’s screaming. He fought to control the steering wheel as his All-Terrain tires spun in the dirt before gripping pavement once more. 

 

   “Are you crazy? You’re both crazy!” Armie yelled. 

 

   Ben swore under his breath as he heard Barriss laugh behind him.

 

~

  
  


   Rey hid her scrunched nose behind the glass and slowly spit the bitter lemonade back into the cup. Terry had invited Luke and another family from the church over to his house for cookies and lemonade; and Rey was surprised that that was an actual thing people did. She hadn’t really been paying attention to their small talk. She’d grabbed the local paper to look at their job listings but Terry had quickly informed her that such behavior was rude. Rey had pressed her lips into a firm line so as not to make a scene giving this man a piece of her mind, and was now just leaning against the banister, watching Terry’s two young daughters chase each other around.

 

   “Well the other day I was talking with Arnold about the English department and what kind of literature they were using this year and he tells me that the new English teacher they hired is planning on using this book called SlaughterHouse Five. Doesn’t that just sound awful! I couldn’t believe it!”  

   Rey perked up. “SlaughterHouse Five? Yeah, I’ve read it. It’s a good book.” Everyone just stared at her. Some with shock. Some with disgust. Rey swallowed but continued. “A real classic.”

   The man, whose name she hadn’t bothered to remember, laughed with disdain. “Tom Sawyer is a classic.”

   Rey glanced at her mother, bit the inside of her cheek so as not to start an argument, and turned to face the yard. 

 

_    Just get through senior year, Rey, and you can head back home.  _

 

~

 

   Ben pulled into one of the spaces at Sonic and killed the engine. Poe jumped out the back and headed towards the patio seating. Armie scrambled out of the seat after him, muttering curses over his taste in friends. Ben was pretty sure that if he’d had the doors attached, Armie would have slammed it.

 

   “Hey Armie! Get me a drink would’ya?” Ben flashed him a crooked toothed grin.

   “Oh screw you Kylo! Get it yourself. Or better yet, get your lunatic girlfriend to do it for you!”  

 

   Ben laughed and felt Barriss’s arms snake around his shoulders. “I knew you’d catch me,” she whispered in his ear. Ben shifted so as to look at her before giving her a drawn out kiss. “Technically Poe caught you.” Barriss huffed before she took off her straw cowboy hat and shoved it into his face. “Play something for me would ya, babe?”

   He couldn’t help but grin as he pushed her too tiny hat onto the top of his head. Admiring the tight black jeans she’d worn he plugged up his phone and scrolled through one of his playlists. Lady Antebellum’s “You Look Good” blasted through his speakers. Cheers broke out from those sitting and standing around the patio. 

 

   Before he could climb out of his seat, Tallie’s Camaro lurched into the spot next to him. “What the hell is wrong with you!” Tallie screamed at him. Ben stared at her for a moment before scooting past her. “What the hell’s wrong with you? Do you not know how to drive?” He asked as he slid up behind Barriss and wrapped his arms around her. He twirled her so as to place her between him and her friends. “You were the one swerving all over the road.”

   Tallie shook her head and stomped off. 

 

   “Why do you even date this guy Barriss?” Jessica asked.

 

   Barriss grinned. “Cause he’s a good fuck.”

 

   Jessica rolled her eyes and went to sit next to Poe. Ben’s smug smile slowly turned into a frown, but he schooled his face to show nothing as Barriss turned in his arms and looked up at him. “Right baby?” 

   Ben felt like he should have been proud, but her words just kind of left him feeling hollow. Instead of answering, Ben took the cue of the song change and began to sway her back and forth to “Young & Crazy”. A few of the others got up and began to dance as well. 

 

   Barriss was halfway towards spinning into his arms when she stopped suddenly. He was about to ask what was wrong when his stereo suddenly went dead. Ben spun around to see who the hell had messed with his music when he saw Luke; his unplugged phone in his hand. Luke looked at it for a moment, his face darkening, then dropped it into the seat. Ben stood his ground and rose to his full height. 

   Luke looked around at the faces of those around before walking up to stand in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came. His features took on a look of hurt. “Your...mother...is back in town. She wanted to visit you. I heard you might be out here…eating...with your friends. I’m sad to see that’s not the case however.”

   Ben said nothing, yet knew Luke knew him well enough to know how angry he was from the tightening of his jaw. Luke looked him in the eye for a moment then nodded and turned away. “I’ll let her know you’ll be late.” He paused then, before speaking a little louder for everyone to hear. “That all of you might be late.”

 

   Ben watched his uncle get back in his car and slowly drive away, then looked around at everyone else as they shuffled towards their own vehicles. Soft hands wrapped around his arm and tugged gently. “Best take me home Kylo,” Barriss said sadly.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a big Country music fan, so thank goodness for Spotify. I wouldn't have had a clue for what songs to play while writing this.   
> "Young & Crazy" is by Frankie Ballard
> 
> Now if any of you have watched Clone Wars you'll know Barriss Offee as the Jedi Padawan that went rogue and bombed the Jedi temple and let Ahsoka take the blame. So why is she Kylo/Ben's girlfriend? Well in Footloose Chuck is a jerk but is cued as the Good ol' Boy Boyfriend (note that Rev. Shaw doesn't seem to take issue with Ariel dating him.) When thinking of SW characters who might work in this role I thought of Barriss. She's seen as a good person but has a darker side in the end.


	4. Rey's First Day

   Rey knew how to drive. She just wasn’t used to it. There really wasn’t a need when you lived in the Chicago area. But out here in the middle of nowhere you pretty much had to have something if you were going to get anywhere. Which was why Rey had spent the weekend having Zorri drive her to the nearest used auto dealer. She’d saved up to two thousand dollars over the years, money that was supposed to go towards college, but was now having to be spent on a car. But she was pretty happy with her purchase. A pale yellow two thousand and four Volkswagen Beetle. 

   Yeah, it had high mileage, but the dealer was willing to sell it for less than two thousand. And she was happy to find it had the Monsoon sound system upgrade with auxiliary input. Which is why, today, she was blasting Billy Idol as loud as she thought it socially acceptable. However, as she pulled into the school parking lot, it seemed that was not the case. Almost all of the students milling around outside the school turned to look at her. Some shook their heads. Some yelled at her to turn down “that racket”. 

 

_    Racket? Really? I must have parked at the old folks home by accident.  _

 

   Rey grabbed her canvas satchel and swung it over her head as she got out of her car and ignored all the stares she felt as she walked inside. 

 

~

 

   Rey looked down at the slip of paper in her hand.

 

_    No, I’m on the right end of the school. So where is the- _

   Her shoulder bumped into someone and spun her into the wall. 

 

   “Hey man, watch where you’re going! You got eyes. Use ‘um!” yelled whoever had bumped her. 

 

   Rey’s temper flared. “Guess I’ll have to since you’re not using yours.” It sounded immature, even to her own ears. But Rey wasn’t going to be bullied right off the bat. The boy stepped closer to her and held her gaze for a moment.

 

   “Wait. You’re that new city girl, right?”

   “My name’s Rey. ...And yes. Born in London, raised in Chicago.”

   “Dang man. I always wanted to see what it’s like there.” The boy then stuck out his hand as if to shake hers. “The name’s Finn. And you said...Ray? With an ‘a’?”

   “An ‘e’ actually.” Rey cautiously shook his hand. “One ‘n’?”

   Finn flashed her a wide grin. “Nah. Two, actually. ...Look, sorry about the whole shoulder thing.”

   “It’s okay,” she shrugged. “I really wasn’t looking. I was trying to find the room they teach small engine repair in.”

   “Yeah? My girl Rose is taken that class. Can’t miss her. Only damn Asian in this school.” Rey couldn’t help but snort mentally. It came off as a little funny, coming from the only black guy she’d seen so far. “You wanna keep heading that way and it will be the third room on the left.”

   Rey looked down the hall and spotted the third open door on the left. “Thanks.”

   “No problem. See you at lunch?”

   “Uh...sure.”

   “Cool. See ya, Rey.”

   “Bye.”

 

   Rey blinked rapidly trying to go over what had just happened. 

 

_    Strange way to make a friend. _

  
  
  


   As she moved down the hall she caught sight of Ben and the dark curly haired guy she’d seen sitting next to him at the church. They were hard to miss. Both were pretty tall, with Ben seeming to tower over everyone. And in a sea of farmer tans they both stood out. One naturally tanned and handsome; oozing confidence and charm. The other pale, brooding, and strangely attractive in his own odd way.

   She seemed rooted in placed as they came closer. Then Ben’s friend looked over at her and gave her a warm smile.

 

   “Hey, I like that top! The whole shoulderless-ripped sleeve look. I like it.”

 

   Rey felt her cheeks warm as she watched them walk past her. Ben making a point to not look at her while his friend elbowed him in the ribs and grinned. She wasn’t sure if she was blushing because he’d said something or...maybe he was making fun of her?

   Without really thinking she blurted, “Ben?” They both stopped and turned to look at her. Rey swallowed and blushed even more. “Right?...That’s your name?”

 

   Rey watched as Ben studied her. His friend looking between them; warm smile now replaced with an expression of uncertainty. “Yeah. ...It is,” Ben finally replied softly. Then he turned and continued on. Rey watched them for a moment then headed for her classroom. 

 

   Once inside she immediately spotted the girl who had to be Rose. Rey gave her a polite hello and sat next to her at the workbench. The girl beamed and leaned over to whisper, “Oh thank God, I’m not the only girl in here.” Rey couldn’t help but smile.

 

~

 

   “Huh,” Poe said, letting his verbal bait hang in the air.

   Ben sighed. “What.”

   “Oh nothing. ...It’s just...how come you didn’t tell her to call you Kylo?”

   Ben glanced over at him then frowned. “I don’t know.”

   “Hmm.”

   “Just spit it out Poe.”

   “Well it’s just that there are only four people in this world that call you Ben. Me. Your mother. Luke. And now Rey. Just find it odd is all.”

   “Shut up.”

 

   Ben didn’t know why he’d allowed her to use his name. But he had to admit. It did sound nice hearing her say it with that slight accent of hers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy Idol's "White Wedding" is a classic.


	5. Hope and Hurdles

   “So what’s it like in Chicago?” Finn asked as he and Rose followed her down the lunch line. 

 

   Rey found it strange that she’d apparently made two new friends already. She just assumed that it was either because she was the shiny new thing people were curious about or these two felt so out of place they’d sensed she felt that way too. Either way, Rey was grateful she wasn’t going to have to eat alone. 

 

   “Uh, well, there’s a lot more people. More diverse. Amazing restaurants and actual entertainment. Winter is miserable. But the parks are nice and visiting the lake when I could was always a highlight.”

   “I hear there’s a lot of crime,” Rose asked as she lead them over to an empty table. 

   “Yeah, there can be. Just depends on where you live. In some areas it’s unheard of. In others it’s constant. But where we lived wasn’t so bad. My adoptive mom and I just mainly stayed to ourselves so we weren’t too bothered. And any time I wasn’t at school or working an odd job I was at the Fine Arts academy.”

   Rose brightened. “That sounds fancy! What did you do there?”

   “Well I wouldn’t call it fancy,” Rey laughed. “But it was a nice school. I learned all types of dance styles there. I was actually thinking of trying to become one professionally; a dancer I mean.”

 

   Rey watched as Finn and Rose gave each other a look that she wasn’t sure how to interpret. But before she could ask Ben’s friend from earlier appeared and placed Finn into a playful headlock. “What are you two lovebirds doing over here? Come sit with us! There’s room for the three of you.”

   “Poe! Knock it off,” Rose scolded. 

   Poe then looked over to Rey and winked before grabbing her tray. “Come on new girl. You’re invited too.”

   Rey gave him an indignant look before taking her tray back, but followed after her friends. 

 

   “I’m Poe by the way,” he said as he pulled a chair out for Rey.

   She gave him a brief polite smile and sat. “I’m-”

   “Rey. I know. With an ‘e’. Finn told me.” Then he grinned and jabbed a thumb at Ben, who was sitting across from her. “And To-Cool-For-School over here told me Sunday.”

   “Oh,” was all Rey could manage to say. She looked over at Ben to find him looking at her for a brief moment before looking back down to his food; and seeming to concentrate on it with a great deal of focus.

   “So, Rey, I heard you saying something about dancing?” Poe asked in a curious tone.

   “Oh, yeah. I was telling them I attended a dance academy back in Chicago.”

   “So you like dancing?”

   “I love dancing.”

   “Well then you’ve come to the wrong place,” said a pale ginger-haired boy sitting next to Ben. 

   Rey looked at him for a moment then around at everyone sitting at the table. Each wore a look of disappointment. Except for Ben. He just stared at his food as though it had offended him in some way. 

   Rey swallowed and furrowed her brow. “Why do you say that?”

   “Don’t worry about him, Rey.” Poe waved his hand dismissively. “Armie is the official rule keeper of the group.”

   “The town outlawed it. Dancing, I mean,” Finn explained. “They haven’t allowed it for several years.”

   “And new restrictive rules on things have followed since,” Rose added.

 

   Rey sat and stared at the pair for a moment then chuckled, but as she looked at their grave faces her laugh died in her throat. “You’re kidding. Right? How is that even possible? And why would you? It’s just dancing!” 

   She noticed Poe and Armie shooting looks over at Ben, who looked like he was about to flip over the table. He was staring holes into her tray. His jaw tight; wide shoulders rigid. 

   When it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything, Poe explained, “There was a car accident. ...A bad one.”

   “Council members placed the blame on the sins of drinking, dancing, and dangerous music,” Armie finished. “So they put a ban on all of it. And if you have any sense, I suggest you keep that bit of information about yourself to yourself. People will already give you a hard time for being an outsider.”

   Rey could feel her blood boiling. “What! This is crazy! Who would even think that? I’m not-”

   “My uncle does,” Ben said in a deep, deadly tone. He looked up at her with an intensity that made her go still. “He was the one who gave the Council the idea.”

   Rey stared at him for several seconds then sat straighter and gave him the same hard stare. “Well I’m not hiding who I am. And if people want to treat me any differently over the dumb fact that I wasn’t born here then they can kiss my ass.” She sat back in her chair and let her words sink in, and watched as the slightest smirk formed on his lips, before he forced it away.

   “Well then you’re stupider than you look,” Armie said flatly.  


	6. Acceptable and Unacceptable Music

   “Bye Rey! Thanks for the lift!”

   “No problem Rose. See you tomorrow.”

 

   Rey watched as Finn got out so Rose could climb out of the backseat then gave her a quick kiss before getting back into the car. The arrangement had worked out pretty well these last couple of days. Rey would pick up Finn, then Rose on her way to school, then drop them off on her way back home. 

 

   As she drove she bopped her head and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel.

 

   “Why do you do that?” Finn asked.

   Rey looked over at him. “Do what?”

   “That thing with your head and fingers.”

   Rey stopped and thought about his question. “Oh, I was just kinda dancing to this tune I’ve had in my head all afternoon.” 

   “Oh. You could have just started singing.”

   Rey laughed at that. “Yeah, I guess I could have. But I can’t help myself. I’m so used to moving along to the beat, you know?”

   “Not really,” he mumbled. 

 

   Rey looked over at him to see him looking slightly confused. 

 

   “In my bag is an iPod. Plug it in.”

 

   Finn rummaged through her canvas bag till his hand felt a smooth metal rectangle. I was an older generation iPod Touch but it appeared to be in good shape. He grabbed her aux cable and turned it on. 

 

   “At the bottom right, open the Music app and look up “Driven To Tears”. 

 

   Rey turned up the volume and began to shake her shoulders to Sting’s bass and tap the steering wheel to Stewart Copeland’s drums. After a few beats Rey looked over to see Finn staring at her. 

 

   “What? You’ve never heard of The Police?”

   “Nope. Sorry.”

   “Really?”

   Finn glanced up then seemed to stiffened. “No. But I’m seein’ the police.”

   “Really? In concert?”

   “No! ...Shit! Turn that down! The one behind us,” he angrily whispered.

   Rey looked into the rearview mirror. Sure enough a patrol car was behind her with its lights flashing. “Shit!”

  
  


   Rey moved her Beetle over to the side and waited till the officer came into view. When the man said nothing Rey looked up at him and asked, “Officer. Something wrong?”

   “Yeah. You were playing your music awful loudly.”

   Rey raised her eyebrows. “And that warrants pulling me over?”

   “Step out of the car ma’am. Both of you.”

 

   Rey huffed in disbelief, but noticed Finn slowly getting out of the car. 

 

   “Ma’am, step out and let me see your license and registration.”

 

   Rey shook her head but grabbed her license out of her purse and the registration out of the glove box and handed both to the officer as she got out. Rey crossed her arms across her chest and stared daggers. She made a quick glance over at Finn, who was slouched with his hands hanging at his sides and looking between Rey and the cop with a look of worry. Rey understood why he’d be nervous. So she uncrossed her arms and tried to seem less hostile. 

 

   “Out of State license, huh? What are you doing here, Illinois?”

   Rey took a deep breath and counted to three. “My mother and I just moved here from Illinois.”

   “And how long ago was that?”

   “About two weeks ago. Why?”

   The officer handed her back her info. “When you getting a new State license?”

   “When I’m not bogged down with homework. Sir.”

 

   The officer gave her a hard look then looked over at Finn for a moment. 

 

   “Anything else? Officer?”

 

   He glanced at her then reached into her car and unplugged her iPod and waved it in her face.

 

   “Hey! You can’t just-”

   “We have a rule around here. And in case your friend here didn’t tell you, we don’t allow this kind of music.”

 

   Rey swallowed and stared at her iPod then nodded. She was relieved when the man dropped it into her hand and walked back to his car. Finn quickly got back into the car and hissed at her to go. Neither of them said a word  on the drive to Finn’s house.

 

   “I’m sorry Finn. I didn’t-”

   “I know you didn’t. Just...maybe you should just listen to the local radio next time and keep the iPod at home. Okay?”

   Rey felt the sting of tears but willed them to stay away. “Okay.”

   Finn nodded then grabbed his bag and got out. “See you tomorrow Rey.”

   “See you tomorrow Finn.”

 

~

 

   Ben sat back in his chair and tapped his pencil on his notebook in irritation. He flicked his eyes up to see his mother pacing the hallway, talking quietly on the phone. Soft music floated out of Luke’s office behind him. He then looked over at his math book and shut it, then began to draw.

   He was adding some shading to the pair of dice he’d drawn when his mother walked in. 

 

   “You’re quite.”

   “Doing homework.”

   His mother hummed. “Math or Art?”

   Ben tossed the pencil onto the desk and quickly closed his notebook. “It's late. I’m gonna turn in.”

   “Ben,” he felt her hand rub against his back just like she would when he was a small child. “I took the time to come see you, you know. So far I’ve seen you all of ten minutes.”

   He stood and collected his books without looking at her. “How kind of you. And it’s been how many years since you dumped me here? Almost ten years now? And it’s not all my fault you haven’t seen much of me. You may be here physically but your mentally still in Salt Lake, coordinating with your staff.”

   “Ben, you know-”

   “Goodnight mom,” he mumbled as he walked past. 

  
  


   As he walked towards the stares he passed Luke’s office and caught sight of him at his desk, typing away on an old typewriter. Ben shook his head. 

   Luke must have sensed him at the door because he stopped and looked up at him. “All done with your work?”

   “Yeah. ...You?”

   Luke sighed. “Almost. Did you spend some time with Leia?”

   “Yeah,” he lied.

   Luke nodded then began to type again. Ben looked over to the mini radio over in the corner and listened to the music for a moment.

   “What are you listening to?”

   “Oh. Uh,” Luke looked over to the radio and picked up the cd case next to it. “Classical Essentials. ...This one is…’The Well-Tempered Clavier’ by Bach. ...Why you ask?”

   Ben chewed on his cheek, wondering why himself. “And that kind of music is okay to listen to?”

   Luke studded him for a moment before turning back to the typewriter. “Yes. It’s uplifting. Doesn’t confuse the soul. Keeps one clear-headed.”

 

   Ben stood there for a moment longer, comments rolling around in his brain. But he decided not to say any of them, and went up the stairs to his room.  


	7. An Emotional Roller Coaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a job. Barriss is an ass. Ben tries to fix things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a longer chapter and ends with a bit of angst. But I'm sure you're okay with that.

   Rey stood in front of the auto shop and looked it over. One bay door. Tiny reception space with two chairs. Cars parked around the side as if awaiting their turn. 

   Ben had described Millennium Auto as a ‘run down dump of a shop’, but claimed the co-owner, a guy by the name of Chewie, would take her on. And if he gave her a hard time all she had to do was drop his name. It didn’t sit well with Rey to do so, but there was little in the way of job opportunities. There were few jobs in the area and either she didn’t qualify or she did but no one wanted an ‘outsider’, as one man had put it.

   Since no one seemed to be at the reception desk Rey walked over to the bay door and peeked around. Inside she found someone crouched underneath a lifted car.

 

   “Excuse me! I’m looking for someone by the name...Chewie?”

 

   The man looked over at her and crawled out from underneath the vehicle. Wearing brown oil stained coveralls and a thin bandana to keep his long wiry hair out of his bright blue eyes, he was the tallest person Rey had ever seen.  

 

   “I’m Chewie. ...How can I help you?” he asked, wiping his hands on a rag. 

   Rey took a deep breath. “I’m looking for work. Heard you could use some help.”

   “Oh?” he chuckled. “And how would you be able to assist? You know cars? Trucks?”

   Rey gave a shy smile and nodded. His tone hadn’t been condescending, more curious; which she couldn’t blame. “I can change oils, fluids, filters, batteries, lights, tires, wipers, plugs, and swap out audio equipment. As for everything else, well...I’m a fast learner. And I have a feeling you could use someone to help answer the phone.”

   Chewie glanced over to the empty reception desk. The faint sound of a phone ringing could be heard over the white noise of a radio somewhere inside. He laughed then scratched at his head. “Well, you got me there. You listed more than I  assumed you would. You must be new.”

   “I am,” she answered calmly.

   “Well, you know my name. And you are…”

   “Rey. With an ‘e’. Rey Bliss.”

   “Nice to meet you Rey.” Chewie turned then and gestured towards the shop. “I won’t lie. I could use the help. But I’ve been running this shop myself for a few years now. Who told you I needed help?” 

   “Ben Solo.”

 

   Something in Chewie’s face changed then. Something Rey wasn’t really sure of. After what seemed like several minutes Chewie said, “Haven’t seen that boy in a while.” 

 

   Rey watched him nod to himself then followed after him as he waved her toward the tiny office. “I know Ben. I was good friends with his dad. Still am with his mother and uncle, though we don’t see each other much anymore.” Once inside he walked over to a framed photo on the wall and paused, as if lost in thought. Then chuckled and pointed to a man standing next to who could only have been a younger Chewie. “We were always up to something,” he said fondly. 

 

   Rey looked more closely at the photo. If she squented she could see a slight resemblance of the man to Ben.

 

   “I was always the tinkerer but Han there, he was the one who got the idea for the shop. He was a pilot in the Air Force but once he retired and settled down he gained a love for cars. ...Ben used to say he wanted to be just like him.”

 

   Rey didn’t say anything. She didn’t know anything about this. Her and Ben had passed each other in the hallways and had spoken very little during lunch. But they always seemed to catch one another staring. She’d find him watching her at her locker. He’d notice her watching him at church. So it surprised her when one day at lunch, when she was telling Finn about her job search, that he spoke up and told her to come here and talk to Chewie.That he was an ‘old friend’. Now she knew why he’d said that; though he’d never said anything about his father. 

 

   “I’m sure you have a lot of school work. Any sports?”

   Rey turned her attention back to Chewie. “I’m on the gymnastics team but we only meet for an hour after school.”

   “If I have you work three hours a day after school during the week, you still gonna be able to keep up with your schooling?”

   Rey gave him a big grin. “Absolutely!”

   “Then I welcome your help. ...And when you see him, tell Ben I said hello.”

   “I will. Thank you.”

  
  


~

  
  


   “Oh. My. Gosh. Rey! Your outfit is amazing!” Rose gushed.

 

   Rey laughed and blushed at the compliment. After Chewie had showed her around the shop she’d helped him finish on the car he’d been working on. It felt great to do something productive again. And she was thrilled to find that Chewie didn’t have a problem with her dancing along to the radio and seemed to enjoy her Classic Rock playlist. 

   So when she woke up this morning and felt in charge of her life for the first time in weeks, she wanted to dress the way she felt. She put her hair in a French braided bun, put on her white short-sleeve blouse with matching grey mini vest and capris, and threw it all together with black flats, belt, and thin neck tie. 

 

   “That’s what I told her,” Finn said, turning in his seat to look at Rose. “You should go shopping with her one day. Get some pointers.”

 

   Rey didn’t have to see it to know the slap came from Rose.

 

   “Ouch!” Finn yelped. 

   “Don’t say such things in front of your girlfriend, dummy,” Rose scolleded. “But seriously Rey. You should help me next time I go shopping. I’m pretty sure my style is just plain and practical.”

   Rey laughed. “That is a style, Rose. And it suits you. But I have no problem going with you if you’d like.”

 

~

 

   Ben slung his backpack over his shoulder and sighed through his nose. “Why can’t Tallie take you home?” 

   When he closed his locker he found Barriss glaring at him. “I already told you why. Weren't you listening? Besides, you’ve taken me home a number of times before. Why is it suddenly a problem?”

 

   He looked up over her and around at those walking by. She was still a good way down the hall, but Ben could clearly make out Rey walking along with Finn and Rose. Her locker was only a few feet away from his and he’d been planning to ask her about seeing Chewie as an excuse to talk to her. But he knew he couldn’t with Barriss around. She’d pick at Rey like a vulture finding a dead animal. 

   He looked back down at Barriss and frowned. He’d been wondering a lot recently why he was still dating her.

   “Well, you don’t exactly live close by. And gas isn’t cheap.”

   Barriss scoffed. “You expect me to start paying you all of a sudden? We’ve been dating for a few months now and this was never an issue. And I know you don’t need it. You may not flaunt it Kylo, but I know you’ve got money.”

 

   Ben glared at her and opened his mouth to tell her off but was interrupted by Rey’s soft voice. 

 

   “Ben?”  

_    Should I ignore her?  _ He glanced over at her.  _ Damn it, Rey. The one time you finally direct that pretty smile at me I have to get rid of it. Can I not have one nice thing in this world?  _

   “I just wanted-”

   “Now’s not a good time, Rey.”

 

   Ben watched as she flinched slightly at his tone and looked between him and Barriss; smile completely gone.

 

   “Oh. Sorry. I’ll just...tell you some other time then.

 

   Ben squeezed his eyes shut for a moment so as not to watch her walk away. When he opened them he saw Barriss eyeing her.

 

   “Who was that?”

   “One of Poe’s friends,” he answered without looking directly at her.

   “I’ve never seen or heard him mention her.”

   Ben swallowed. “She’s new.” He hoisted his bag again and began walking to his classroom. 

   “Why did she call you ‘Ben’?”

   “Because it’s my name.”

   “And you hate it. ...You correct anyone who doesn’t call you Kylo.”

_    Shit! _ “Luke introduced us. He doesn’t use my nickname.”

   “So she knows your family?”

   “Christ, Barriss! Everyone in this town knows Luke!”

   She stepped in front of him then; her tone sharp. “That’s not what I meant. And you know it.”

_    Enough of this. _ He leaned down so as to be right in her face and growled, “Whatever you think it is, it isn’t. Now get to class and stop following me. I’ll meet you in the parking lot to take you home. Don’t take forever.” 

 

~

 

   Whatever it was Rey had wanted to tell him, she’d decided not to share at lunch. She gave him a wary smile when he and Armie had sat down, but that was all. Ben assumed she’d gotten the job with Chewie since she was telling Poe that it felt good again to dance somewhere other than her bedroom, and was telling Rose and Finn that she wouldn’t be able to take them home since she would be working till six. She seemed happy about working at the shop, and he took a little comfort in knowing he’d helped her. He just wished he could have talked to her about it.

 

~

 

   “I’m real sorry I can’t take you both home today.”

   “Don’t worry about it,” Finn said. “It’s cool. Poe doesn’t mind.”

   “Well, I’ll see you both in the morning!”

 

   Rey peeled off from her friends and hopped in her car and rolled the windows down to let out the unbearably hot air. Confirming she was clear on all sides, Rey slowly began to back out. 

   A horn honked loudly behind her and she slammed on the breaks. She turned to see the nose of a black Jeep Wrangler inches away from her tailend. 

 

   “Watch-! ...Oh. Rey.”

   Rey looked up to see Ben was the one who’d zoomed up behind her. “Could you not see me?” she asked in a playful yet irritated tone. 

   Before he could reply, the girl he’d been talking to in the hallway and who was sitting next to him now shouted, “Watch it dyke! He’ll sue you for every penny you have!”

 

   Rey just stared at the girl, and watched as Ben slowly turned to look at his companion; a look of disbelief on his face. 

 

   “Excuse me?” Rey bit out.

   The girl gave an airy laugh and pointed to her neck. “ ‘Round here only boys were neckties. Why don’t you go back to your girlfriend-”

   “All right, enough!” Ben shouted as he shoved the girl back into her seat.

 

   Without another word or a look Ben stepped on the gas and drove out of the lot with screeching tires. Rey sat back in her seat and just stared at the steering wheel until her vision became blurry with tears. She carefully wiped at her eyes as she sniffed and began backing out again. 

 

   “God I hate this town.”  

 

~

 

   Ben sat in his seat scrolling through his phone and glancing up at the bay door of Millennium Auto. He could see Rey walking around with a clipboard and rummaging around in Chewie’s supplies. Every couple of minutes he’d look up and catch her bouncing on her toes and then stick a leg out and point it off to the side before swiping it behind her. Then she’d stand on her toes and lean forward, other leg extended back and held that pose while counting something. Ben was pretty sure if he even tried something like that he’d wobble and fall over. 

 

   He looked over at the clock then back at his phone. He’d cussed Barriss out all the way to her house then sped back home. He’d barely been able to focus on his homework though. 

 

_    Should have asked her what it was she wanted to say at lunch. Why’d you just sit there? ...Staring at her like some creep. I should have said something in the lot. Apologized maybe.  _

 

   That was when he’d decided to come down to the shop and do just that. Of course Luke had to give his two cents as he was heading out the door.

 

_    “It’s starting to get late. Where are you heading to?” _

_    “I forgot to tell Rey Bliss something at school today. It's...important.” _

_    “The new girl? What could possibly be so important you couldn’t just call her?” _

_    He’d thought about that but felt she deserved to hear it in person. _

_    “I won’t be gone long.” _

_    “Well see that you don’t. Terry probably won’t appreciate having over a guest so late. And Ben? Try not to hang around with Rey too much. I heard Officer Davis say he pulled her over for disturbing the peace with her loud, unsavory music. Don’t need you getting yourself into anymore trouble.” _

  
  


   Ben frowned at the memory and looked back up to see the bay door had been closed and Rey was locking the front office door. She was still dressed in that cute little outfit that hugged every subtle curve she had. 

   It was a little odd to see the necktie, Ben admitted to himself, but she pulled it off. She looked stylish. Confident. In charge.

 

_    And I’d let her walk all over me, if she asked. ...Maybe that’s why dad let mom boss him around so much. _

 

   Ben abandoned that thought as he nervously ran his hand through his hair and stepped out of his Jeep. Rey stopped for a moment upon seeing him, then stomped towards her car, not giving him another look. 

 

_    Shit.  _ “Rey?”

 

   The Volkswagen's lights blinked as she unlocked it. 

 

   “Rey. I’m-”

   “Why are you here?” she asked bitterly. 

   Ben looked down at his boots and swallowed. “I came to apologize.”

   “Apologize?” 

 

   Her irritated tone caused him to look up and see her expression matched.

 

   “You shouldn’t be the one apologizing! Your girlfriend should be the one apologizing.”

   He nodded. She had a point. “Look. I know she can be-”

   “An asshole?”

   “...Yes. I just-”

   “You know it would have been nice to have my friend stand up for me. But you didn’t.”

   “I never said were friends.” 

 

   He didn’t know why he’d said that in a defensive tone. But he regretted it as soon as he saw her face fall a little, before she gave him a look of indifference.

 

   “Oh that’s right. I’m just ‘one of Poe’s friends’.” Her voice cracked slightly. “I just assumed we were too. ...My mistake.” 

 

   Ben winced at her words. He hadn’t thought she’d heard him. And they weren’t exactly friends. But he also wanted her to be more than that. And as she shook her head at him and opened her car door to get in, he panicked and trotted over to her and kept her from shutting the door. She shot him an angry look but he ignored it. 

 

   “I’m sorry, alright? I really did want to hear what you had to say. It’s just...I didn’t want you near Barriss. Because I knew she’d go after you. I wanted to ask you about it at lunch but it was clear you didn’t want to talk to me so I didn’t say anything.” Rey opened her mouth but he kept talking. “And you’re right. I should have said something. I should have stood up for you. But then it would have just made things worse. It probably already is.”

   “Ben! Can I say something?”

 

   When he closed his mouth she sighed and rubbed at her forehead and brushed away the strands of her hair that had come undone.

 

   “Look, whatever the reason is you feel you need to protect me or whatever, it’s unnecessary. I’m a big girl and have been taking care of myself for longer than I should have been. Your girlfriend is not the first bully who’s wanted to start a fight with me.” 

 

   She sighed and looked out the windshield. Ben felt like he had to say something.

 

   “I really do like your outfit.”  _ Why the hell did you say that? _

 

   Rey looked up at him then and looked him over for a second. Ben felt like he could swallow his tongue. Then she looked away and yanked her door out of his hands and closed it. All he could do was stand there and watch as she started her car and rolled down the window.

 

   “Thanks for telling me about Chewie. ...And thanks for the apology.”

 

   Then she pulled away from him and headed back towards town. Ben just stood there for a moment before picking up the nearest rock and throwing it at the empty road in her direction. 

 

   “You’re welcome!” he yelled angrily. Then he walked over to his Jeep and kicked at the tire, spewing curses at himself.   


	8. No Good Options

   “I can’t believe she called you that!”

 

   Rey looked into the rearview mirror to see Rose fuming. 

 

   “I can’t believe Ben apologized for her,” Finn stated. “...He never does that.”

   “What do you mean?” Rey asked. 

   “Well, she’s rude to everybody, but Kylo...he never says a word about it. Then again he can be just as bad at times.”

   “There’s that name again,” Rey said, the name sounding awkward to her ears. “Kylo. Everyone but Luke, Poe and I call him that. Why?”

   “Don’t know. Poe has known him the longest, but all he said was to use the name Kylo or else he’d get real pissy.

   “Rey?” Rose asked in a dawn out tone. “Do you think...Kylo likes you?”

   “What?” both Finn and Rey shouted, turning to look at her.

   “Eyes on the road!” Rose yelled, shoving their faces forward.

 

   Finn turned in his seat to look at her. “Rose, that’s crazy. How do you even get that?”

   “Think about it Finn. He’s always watching her at lunch. He threatens bodily harm anytime Armie picks on her.”

   “That’s normal though.”

   “He glares at Poe whenever Poe gets flirty with her.”

   “Poe flirts with everyone. He’d flirt with a hen if it walked past him.”

   Rose lifted her fingers as she continued. “He lets her use his real name. He hasn’t picked on the two of us since Rey started hanging out with us.”

   “What?” Rey asked. Finn nodded at her with raised eyebrows.

   “He was the one to tell Rey about her job. And it sounds like he was trying to protect her from Barriss. Plus he drove all the way out to Millenium Auto just to see her and apologize. Something you pointed out he doesn’t do. That’s eight things Finn!” she said, holding up her fingers. 

   The car was dead silent for several seconds. Rey chewed on her bottom lip in thought and examined every look and interaction they’d had in this possible context. It was a tad alarming to think Rose might be right. 

 

   “It’s not just at lunch. I’ve caught him watching me when I’m at my locker too.”

   “See!” Rose said.

   “Okay, nine things. But that doesn’t mean he likes her.”

   “It totally does.”

   “Maybe he’s a creep?”

   Rose tilted her head in thought. “No. Doesn’t add up. He’s an ass, not a creep.” 

   Rey let out a small huff. “I’m probably the one being a creep. I...may watch him during Luke’s sermons...a bit.”

   “What?” Finn asked in disbelief. 

   Rose squealed from the back in delight. “Oh my God! Mutual pining!”

   Rey rolled her eyes. “I’m not pining.”

   “Well maybe not, but I still find this all very funny.”

   “Rey,” Finn said with a kind but firm voice. “As your friend I feel like I should remind you that this is a bad idea and that he has a crazy girlfriend who currently has you on her Shit List.”

 

   Rey couldn’t help but laugh.   

 

   “That is true,” Rose agreed. “What are you going to do?”

   Rey shrugged and shook her head. “I’m not going to do anything. It’s passing glances, nothing more. That’s all. I’m bored at church. He’s near my locker. He felt guilty and apologized in person. And he’s always frowning and threatening.”

 

   Rey could hear Rose hum as though unconvinced. And she wasn’t sure she’d convinced herself either. 

 

~

 

   Rey tried not to feel paranoid while at her locker. And she made a point to not look over at Ben’s, which took a lot more willpower than it should have. But as she reached into her locker for her lunch bag she knew she’d have to at least be near him at the lunch table. 

 

_    It’ll be fine. Just stop thinking about it and don’t make it weird. Rose is probably wrong. I mean...he’s...I’m…we’re...ah, bloody hell. _

 

   Rey groaned at her own thoughts and slammed her locker door closed, only to yelp when she turned around. Barriss was standing right in front of her and giving her a look that could curdle milk. 

 

   “Offee Farm. Field near the pond. Tomorrow. Five-thirty.”

   Rey blinked in confusion. “What?”

   Barriss shoved her back into the row of lockers. “You better be there. Or your life will get a lot worse.” Then she spun on her heel and walked back into cluster of students. 

 

   No one had stopped to watch. And those that had looked over at them were making a point to hind the fact that they’d noticed the quick confrontation. As if in a daze, Rey walked into the lunch room and sat between Finn and Poe and just stared at the table.

 

~

 

   “Rey? You okay?” Finn asked. 

 

   Rey remained silent for several seconds before finally looking up. Ben was looking right at her, clearly concerned. She swallowed. “Barriss told me to meet her in some field near a pond at a place called Offee’s Farm”

   “What!” Ben growled. “When? Just now?”

   “Yeah. She was standing behind me while I was at my locker. 

   “Shit!” he hissed. “I told her to forget about you. ...Just ignore her, Rey.”

 

   Rey’s irritation at this whole thing was now setting in. Irritation with Barriss. Irritation with Ben, even though he technically hadn’t really done anything. Irritation with this town.   

 

   “Well I would, but since you know her, how concerned should I be about her threatening that my life will get worse if I no-show?” 

   “She didn’t!” Rose gasped. 

   Ben looked like he was about to explode into a rage. Poe looked over at him and slowly took the soda can out of his hand. “I’ll just take this.”

   “Kylo, whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t do it,” Armie lectured. “You got suspended for three days last you got this way.”

   Finn placed his hand on her arm. “You aren’t really thinking of going, are you?”

 

   Rey leaned back and thought about how stupid this whole thing had become. 

 

   “Ben, is this really all just because I spoke to you?”

   He clenched his fists as he looked at her. “Probably.”

   “Wow,” Rey deadpanned. “And you’ve explained to her that we have nothing going on?” 

 

   She wanted to rub it in how they weren't friends but decided against it. It also didn’t help that she caught the split second of the hurt and regret that flashed across his face before it hardened again upon his response that he had.

_    Really Ben? I’m in this mess because you might have some unspoken crush? _ She sighed and rubbed at her face. “Okay. ...I’m gonna go.”

 

   Everyone at the table protested in some way before she cut them off with a wave of her hand.

 

   “I refuse to be bullied. I’ll show up to see if I can talk some sense into her. ...And if I can’t then I’m fine with getting into a brawl.”

   That made Poe laugh. “You’re so adorable, I forget how feisty you can get.”

 

   Rey looked up at Ben. Sure enough he was now glaring at Poe. She glanced over at Rose, who was nodding her head subtly at Ben and raising her eyebrows in a See I Told You So manner. Rey mentally sighed loudly.

 

~

 

   “What the hell, Barriss!” Ben yelled at her as he stormed over to where she was walking in the parking lot. “I thought I told you to forget Rey. Now I hear you’ve got her coming over?”

   “Kylo, chill out. If she’s not that big of a deal to you why do you even care?”

   “I don’t.”

   “No?”

   “No!”

   Barriss looked him up and down with that greedy look she’d sometimes get. It used to turn him on. Now it just made him uncomfortable. “You’re not looking to screw her too?”

   Ben threw his hands up in the air. “Christ, Barriss. This is what this is about? You being jealous over nothing? Poe said she was looking for a job, I told her about an old family friend needing help. That’s it.”

   She shifted her weight and looked at him as if she was trying to figure out if he was lying or not. “Alright,” she said slowly. “Then come by the house later. Prove to me I’m wrong. Meet me at our spot. And tomorrow, you can come and watch me make a fool of her.”

   She grabbed his shirt and yanked him down into a bruising kiss before letting him go. Then she turned and headed to where Tallie typically parked. Ben straightened his shirt and cursed under his breath. The only thing Barriss liked to do at ‘Their Spot’ was have sex and occasinolly smoke weed; two things Ben wasn’t really in the mood for at the moment. He yanked at his hair as he stomped towards his Jeep.    

 

_    If that’s what it takes...then fine. I’ll give her what she wants. I don’t have to look at her while if fuck her. And I can hate myself a little more while I do it.   _


	9. A Game Of Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The famous game of Chicken...with tractors. Now with added drama!

Ben trudged past the pond and up the hill to where it flattened out into a small dirt road. There sat an old tractor, with another several feet away. He squinted in the bright sun and looked around.

 

   “Shit. She’s gonna have her play Chicken.”

 

   Ben took out his cell phone and texted Poe.

 

~

 

   Poe reached for his phone and attempted to read but had it snatched out of his hand.

 

   “Hey!”

   “You focus on driving. I’ll read your phone,” Finn scolded. 

   Poe laughed. “You sure you wanna do that pal? You never know what kind of text I could get.”

   Rose rolled her eyes.

   “It’s from Kylo,” Finn said. “He wants you to get a hold of Rey. Barriss is gonna challenge her to a game of Chicken. ...With tractors?”

   “What? Give me that.” Poe yanked the phone away and looked at the screen. “Yep. Says tractors. ...Well, good thing we’re pick up Rey.”

   “But why a tractor?”

   Poe shrugged. “Beats me.”

 

   Rose gave the question some thought before shaking Finn’s shoulder. 

 

   “To guarantee she’ll fail. They don’t have a need for driving tractors around in a city, so the likelihood that she’s ever driven one is slim to none. Playing Chicken is bad enough but-”

   “She’ll either loose trying or back out from the start,” Poe finished. He nodded his head. “Clever. Evil, but clever.”

   “So what do we do?” Finn asked.

   Poe scrubbed a hand through his curls. “Give her a verbal crash course in driving a tractor I guess. And luckily, I know how.”

 

   Finn and Rose looked at one another with worry but said nothing. 

 

~

 

   Ben sat halfway in the driver’s seat and looked out over the small herd of cattle and took a slow drag of his cigarette, reflecting on the burning discomfort he felt in his lungs before exhaling. He rarely ever smoked but on days like today, were he was angry and anxious, he couldn’t help but smoke at least one in order to take his mind off whatever it was. At least, he figured it was a better option than say punching his almost forty-nine thousand dollar Wrangler.

   He’d place the filter up to his mouth when his phone buzzed on the dash. 

 

POE

_    I’ve got Rey. She asked I drive her since she didn’t know where the farm was. I explained what she was getting into. _

 

   Ben flicked what was left of the cigarette onto the gravel and typed his response.

 

_    I take it she’s still going through with this? _

 

POE

_    This is Finn. Yes, she’s still going through with it. We’ve tried talking her out of it but she’s stubborn. Poe is going over how to drive a tractor. _

  
  


   Ben shook his head but cracked a small smile. He’d hoped she would have changed her mind but he knew she wouldn’t. Rey was kind and caring but it was clear she didn’t take people’s shit. He liked that about her. 

   Okay, if he was being honest with himself he liked a lot of things about her. And that was probably why she was in this mess; because he had no poker face and showed every emotion he felt. Which is why Barriss probably hadn’t left Rey alone. She could tell he’d been lying. 

   But he couldn’t help it. It was like some force of gravity was drawing him towards Rey. He’d tried ignoring her but she was always around; brightening the room wherever she went. Looking at him with curiosity every Sunday. Offering him a sweet smile and kind hello when she sat at the lunch table. Never asked for or expected anything of him. And her looks were just icing on the cake.

    He shook his head and gave a week pathetic laugh. “Jeez. Your life’s already a mess and now you gotta go and get love sick over some new girl? What the hell is wrong with me?”

 

   Off in the distance he could see a cloud of dust racing towards him. Ben started his playlist and tossed his phone back onto the dash and steeled himself.

   Riding her father’s ATV, Barriss came across the field and slowed to a stop near his vehicle.    
  


   “You’re here early.”

   Ben shrugged. “Luke’s at a conference and mom had to leave. Again.”

 

   She walked up to him and grabbed the pack of cigarettes to pick one out for herself, then held out her hand to him; a silent demand for his lighter. Ben frowned as he handed it over. 

 

   “I thought you were trying to quit.”

   “I am.”

   Barriss gave him a smug smile. “How’s that working out for you?”

   Ben didn’t even bother giving a reply.

   “What kinda crap are you listening to?”

   “Godsmack.”

   “It’s awful.”

 

   Ben clamped his teeth together. He could either start yet another verbal argument or he could just give in and turn the music off. Since he hadn’t made a move, Barriss reached out for his phone. Ben snatched it before she could touch it and, shooting her a glare, turned the song off. 

 

   “So you’re free this weekend?” she asked sweetly.

   He was actually. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell her that. “No. Luke already spoke to Poe’s dad and asked if I could stay the weekend over there. So-”

   “That sucks.” 

   They both turned then as the sound of a few vehicles coming up the gravel road. 

 

   Barriss grinned. “Just you watch. This is going to be so much fun.” 

 

~

 

   Rey stared at the tractor and blinked. She was supposed to drive this thing? She supposed it was like driving a manual. Only she’d never driven a manual. 

 

_    I’m gonna die doing this. Why am I even doing this? Wasn’t I just going to either talk to her or beat the shit out of her? _

 

   She watched as Ben’s long legs carried him halfway up the hill so as to look out over both of them. 

 

   “Ready city girl?” Barriss yelled as she climbed into her tractor. 

 

   Rey watched as the tractor rattled alive. She turned then to face her own and glanced over at her friends as she climbed into the seat. Poe gave her a big grin and a thumbs up. Rey swallowed.

 

_    Okay. Key is already in the ignition. Alright. Press clutch. Uh...far left, and turn.  _ Rey squealed as the tractor rumbled underneath her.  _ Okay. Okay. Shift into First. Ummm. Alright.  _

   Rey could hear laughter coming from up ahead but she didn’t bother looking. She knew who it was. She placed her foot on the gas as she slowly removed her other from the clutch. The tractor lurched forward and those behind her whooped and cheered. 

 

   She looked around herself at the large tires on either side of her and at the nose of the machine. Then she looked up to see Barriss had began movie towards her, only at a faster speed. Rey didn’t really know if she was supposed to go faster but she decided to try. And pray.  

 

~

 

   Ben thought it pretty obvious, even from where he was standing, that Rey was scared shitless. But she was trying and had even impressed him when she got the thing started. Her tractor jerked forward as she attempted to match Barriss’s increasing speed, though as she did so she seemed to have a harder time keeping control of the wheel. 

 

   They weren’t far from each other now and Ben felt his stomach twisting into knots. Poe was trying to yell directions while Rose and Finn yelled at her to jump. He so badly wanted to yell but he bit his tongue to stay quiet. Then Rey frantically started standing and sitting over and over. Barriss was also standing but as if she wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t even notice he was smashing his knuckles into his mouth. 

 

~

_    This is it,  _ Rey thought.  _ I’m going to die. I’m going to die driving a tractor. ...And for what? _

   She could hear what sounded like the others yelling at her but she couldn’t make out their words. She was too busy panicking. Barriss’s tractor was getting closer and closer and Rey couldn’t think straight. 

   Deciding to bail she made the move to jump, only to be yanked back down into the seat. She tried again and was shaken back down. Rey looked at her feet and saw that her Converse shoelace was caught on a loose screw near the gas pedal. She leaned down and tried to untangle it but couldn’t. The nose of the tractor inched to the side slightly and Rey sat back up to correct it.

 

~ 

 

   The two tractors barreled towards each other with hardly any room in between. Tallie and Jessica began racing after Barriss while Rey’s friends seemed frozen in place. 

 

   “Jump!” Ben yelled, unsure as to who he was yelling at.

 

   With less than a foot left Barriss yanked on the steering wheel, causing her tractor to swerve to the left and tilt over the bank. Ben broke out into a run, yelling her name. Once he was at the top of the bank he could see she’d been able to jump out in time and was now screaming curses while looking at her father’s turned over tractor laying in the pond. 

   Ben huffed in relief and pushed his damp hair out of his eyes.

 

   “Rey!”

 

   Ben looked to see Poe running up the road, yelling for Rey to stop. He turned to see Rey’s tractor still going down the road. 

 

   “Poe!”

 

   Without thinking, Ben took off after Rey. Once he was alongside her he yelled, “Clutch then brake!”

   “I can’t!” she yelled back. “My shoelace is caught! I can’t get it loose!”

 

   Ben cursed and timed his jump so he could climb onto the tractor with her. Rey moved her foot as much as she could and tried to keep the machine steady as Ben worked it into idle, then off.

 

   “You okay?” Ben panted. 

   Rey’s eyes were blown with fear but she nodded before replying, “I’ve been through a lot, but that was the most terrifying thing I think I’ve ever experienced.”

   She looked up at him then and Ben couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah. That was close.”

 

   He stepped down and yanked on Rey’s now fraying shoelace, freeing her. 

 

   “Is Barriss-”

   “She seems okay. She was standing at the bottom yelling over the fact her dad’s tractor is now in the duck pond.” He gave her a wide grin but she was too shaken to return it. 

 

   “Rey! Oh thank God. Rey,” Poe huffed as he slowed to a stop.

 

   Ben helped Rey from the seat as Poe walked up to them.

 

   “What the hell girl?” Poe gasped.

   “I didn’t do it on purpose! My shoe got stuck! Believe me, I was trying to jump off.”

   Poe looked up at Ben then attempted to laugh. “Oh man. Barriss...is gonna be...in so much...shit...for this. Rey, you may have won but...watch out.”

 

   Ben looked down at Rey and saw her worry at her lip. He placed his hand at her back and led her towards Poe but she was tackled by a crying Rose, who was followed by a swearing Finn who slumped against Poe once he caught sight of Rey in one piece. 

 

   “Oh my God, Rey, what is wrong with you? Are you okay? Are you insane?” Rose asked while looking over her. 

   “I’m fine. I’m okay,” Rey said with a shaky voice. 

   “I don’t mean to rush you,” Ben said, cutting glances at the pond. “But you guys should probably get Rey out of here before Barriss comes looking for her. Take her straight home. Rose, stay with her if you have to. Okay?”

 

   Rose nodded and began leading Rey away. As they walked at a hurried pace, Ben caught Rey looking back at him. He wasn’t sure what the look on her face was. Gratitude maybe? He sighed then slowly walked towards the duck pond.

  
~  
  


   Barriss was a mess. Her hair was disheveled, her hands scraped, the knee of her jeans torn, and her mascara was streaked from where she’d been crying. Jessica looked up at him as he approached and shook her head as if in warning. He stopped.

   The four of them said nothing for several seconds. Barriss looking at the damaged tractor and them looking between it and her. Then in a whisper she said,

 

   “This is all your fault.”

 

   Ben looked between Tallie and Jessica then watched as Barriss rose to her feet. Tallie tried helping her up but Barriss shoved her away.

 

   “I said,” she hissed as she turned to face him. “This is all your fault!” 

   Ben gaped at her in disbelief. All concern he’d had for her now gone.  “What!”

   She lunged at him and began hitting at his chest. “All your fault!”

 

   Ben shoved her away, back to Tallie who was trying to pull her off of him. He couldn’t believe this. 

 

   “What the fuck is wrong with you? This was your stupid, idiotic idea! Not mine!” Barriss growled at him but Tallie held onto her; so he continued. “Your the one who’s ruined your father’s tractor.”

 

   Barriss yelled in anger. He was pretty sure she’d gone mad. 

 

   “Where is she? She did this!”

   “Gone,” Ben said angrily. “Poe took her home.”

   “You let her leave.”

   “Yeah. I did.”

   “I knew it!”

 

   Ben jabbed his finger right in her face, just like his father would do to him.

 

   “You...don’t know shit! I ran down that hill after you, worried your dumb ass was dead. Then when I saw you weren't I went after your dad’s other tractor and kept it from getting ruined also! ...You thankless bitch!”

 

   He stepped away as she lunged for him again but was still held back. 

 

   “Rey didn’t want any of this Barriss. Only you. ...You know she was going to jump? But her shoelace got caught. She couldn’t.”

 

   Barriss stilled in Tallie’s arms but continued to stare him down. He hoped she’d finally realized who was really at fault, but instead all she did was spit at him. 

 

   “You just wanted to check on your little Ray Of Sunshine.”

 

   Ben’s fists balled, ready to strike, but he stepped away from her and shook his head.

 

   “We’re over Barriss. I’m done with your shit.”

 

   Every name she could call him she screamed, but Ben just kept walking up the hill and towards his Jeep. It wasn’t worth it to turn around.


	10. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me forever to figure out. Hope it doesn't suck. It's kind of an in-between moment but it helps push the story.

   Rey was glad Rose was able to spend the night. It gave her the excuse to stay in her room so no one could ask why she was acting weird. But it also had the drawback of someone other than herself there to psychoanalyze everything that had happened. 

 

   "You need to talk to him," Rose suggested while braiding another strand of Rey's hair.

   "Not sure that's a good idea, Rose."

   "What about tomorrow?”

   “At church? Kind of public, don’t you think?”

   “True. But it's better than asking him at school."

   Rey groaned and pressed her face into her knees. “I don't even want to think about Monday."

   "Maybe she'll leave you alone?"

 

   Rey snorted. She was pretty sure that would not be the case. 

  
  


   When Rose was finished she handed Rey the mirror so she could see her work.

 

   "Page is picking me up early, so you'll need to brush them out in the morning. Make sure you send me a pic!"

   Rey smiled. "Thanks." 

   "You should wear that black dress you have. The one with the buckle." 

   Rey gave her a questioning look. "Pretty sure Luke doesn't want me showing that much skin." 

   "You're probably right." Then she gave her a sly smile. "But I bet Kylo wouldn't mind." 

   "Oh my God!" she gasped, playfully shoving Rose. “You need to stop! He has a girlfriend. Who also happens to hate me, remember? ...Besides, a part of me feels like I should be mad at him.”

   “Why?”

   Rey shrugged. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t have been in this mess today if it wasn’t for him.”

   “Well, all the more reason to talk to him.”

 

   Rey picked at one of the hairbands nervously. 

 

   “Seems kind of rude to walk up and say, ‘Hey thanks for saving me but could you stop looking and talking to me?’”

 

   Her friend just giggled at her then turned out the light. Since the sleepover had turned out to be a last minute thing, Rose had asked if she’d be willing to share the bed. Rey had never shared a bed with anyone, but agreed.

 

   “So, do you not like him?” Rose asked.

 

   Rey rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. It was odd, having someone else next to her, but she didn’t hate it. It was nice, in a way. Less lonely. 

 

   “...I’m not sure. I don’t hate him. It’s just, there’s something about him. It’s hard to put my finger on.”

 

   When Rose didn’t reply after a minute or two, Rey looked over and saw that she had fallen asleep. Rey rolled back over and tried to force herself to sleep, hoping that having someone close would help to ward off her usual nightmares.  

 

~

 

   Rose was already gone by the time Rey awoke and she tried ignoring the rush of anxiety she felt. 

 

_    She told you she had to leave early. No reason to panic. You’ll see her tomorrow. _

 

   Rey took three deep calming breaths and went to get ready for the day. 

  
  
  


   Rose had blown up her phone when Rey sent the picture. She wasn’t sure why she decided to wear the outfit Rose had suggested, but she had to admit the crimped hair looked lovely with the off the shoulder black dress. Her mother had given her a questioning look but had come to her defence when Terry insisted that she dress more appropriately. She’d asked him if exposed shoulders was another thing against the law. 

   Yet when Rey realized Luke was out and one of the Deacons would be giving his sermon in his stead, Rey couldn’t help but give a small sigh of relief. 

  
  


   “Rey, you look dazzling on this fine Sunday morning,” Poe complimented  when he saw her making her way to her family’s typical spot in the fifth row. 

   Rey couldn’t help but grin. “Nice to see you too, Poe.”

   “Ben,” he called over to the other row. “Doesn’t Rey look nice?”

 

   Ben didn’t say a word, but his expression said everything. Rey tried her best to ignore the sudden flutter in her chest.

   Poe hummed in amusement and Rey turned her attention back to him. “Best be careful Rey. Apparently you can turn a man mute.”

   Rey rolled her eyes and gave him a playful smack on the arm. “Go take your seat. You’re being a menace!”

  
  


   The service ended up being pleasant enough, seeing that it lacked Luke’s typical fire, but if she were asked she couldn’t have told a single thing about it. She’d spend the entire time sneaking glances at Ben only to find him doing the same. Perhaps Rose was right. Again. Maybe she should try to find a moment to speak with him.

   As the ending prayer was spoken, Rey had made up her mind.

 

   “Mom, you go on ahead to the car. I need to talk to someone real quick.”

 

   She heard her Zori calling after her but chose to ignore her, instead focusing on shifting through the crowd to follow Ben outside. As he headed towards the parking lot she quickened her pace.

 

   “Ben!”

 

   Ben, Poe, and Armie turned to look at her.

 

   “Can I talk to you for a moment?” She glanced at Armie and Poe then around at everyone who was walking to their vehicles. “Somewhere a little more private?”

 

   She watched as his eyes widened and his adam’s apple bobbed. 

 

   “Uh, yeah. Sure,” he nodded, looking a little more serious now. “Guys, why don’t you go on ahead.”

 

   Rey caught Armie rolling his eyes and Poe’s sly grin spread across his face. They didn’t go anywhere but Ben was already a few steps away so she hurried after him. 

   He ended up leading her to the side of the church that faced a small row of trees.  It was as good a place as any, she supposed. And the hum of the nearby air pump could mask their voices. But she wasn’t really looking to see if they were being followed. She was to busy looking at how fitted his t-shirt was on him. Normally he wore a dress shirt on Sundays and a coat or hoodie at school, but he seemed to take the fact Luke was gone as an excuse to dress as he wanted.

  
  


   “Rey?”

   She blinked, not realizing he’d even said something. “Sorry,” she said, looking away from his chest and up to his eyes.

   His eyebrows raised as if in question yet his lips curled into the ghost of a smile. “You wanted to talk?”

   “I did, yes. I, uh, wanted to thank you. For helping me yesterday.”

   He nodded slowly. “You’re welcome.” 

 

   The two of them stood awkwardly before Rey sighed and looked over at the trees as if they could offer her guidance. 

 

   “Look. ...I guess what I’m trying to say is...why.”

   “Why?”

   “Why come after me? Why not Barriss?”

 

   Rey watched his face as he looked away from her and down at his boots. She couldn’t tell if he was mad or just deep in thought. When he shrugged nonchalantly Rey was surprised her heart clenched in slight panic.

 

   “You needed help. And I was closer to you than Poe was.”

   “But she’s your girl-”

   “ _ Was _ my girlfriend. ...Not anymore.” 

 

   His tone was mildly harsh and his face took on a stern look. Rey furrowed her brow as she looked away from him and processed that bit of information. What had happened after she left? 

 

   “Is that...because of me?” 

 

   She wasn’t sure why she sounded worried, or why she’d even asked that question. There could have been plenty of reasons why. When she looked back up at him he was staring at her, expression unreadable. 

   In the distance someone was calling her name but it barely registered. The sudden need to know his answer was the only thing she was focused on. She watched as his jaw flexed with tension. And she’d never noticed that he had a twitch under his left eye before. In fact, there was a lot about his face she’d never noticed before. Suddenly his gaze shifted to above her head. 

 

   “There you are. What are you doing? Let's go!”

 

   Rey turned to see Terry standing at the corner of the building. Feeling torn, she looked up at Ben, hoping he’d quickly explain. But instead he gave her the softest look she’d ever seen him give. And she wasn’t sure how a look could somehow feel like a caress. His lips parted slightly but no words came.

 

   “Rey! Your mother is waiting!”

 

    Reluctantly she backed away as Terry continued to yell; Ben’s eyes following till she no longer faced him.

  
  
  


   “What were you two doing back here?” Terry questioned. 

   “Nothing. Just talking.”

   “...Well next time don’t sneak off. People might think the two of you are doing something inappropriate. And we don’t need that rumor spreading around.”

 

   Rey rolled her eyes but kept quiet. Nothing had happened, yet she couldn’t explain why her heart was racing. With the way he’d looked at her Ben might as well have had his hands on her. And at that thought a tingle ran up her spine.

 

~

 

   Ben dragged his pen in a soft, slow sweep for the eyebrow. He usually spent the time before the service began doodling on the offering envelopes. Normally though he’d just crumple them up and throw them away, but he planned on keeping this one. He wanted to color in the eyes when he got home. 

 

   “Honestly, Kylo, aren’t you a little old to be doing that here?” Armie scolded. “You don’t see Poe or I- ...Poe?”

 

   Ben looked at the empty space next to him. He hadn’t even noticed Poe leave. He went back to his drawing; ignoring Armie.

 

   “Ben!”

 

   Ben glared up at the pew in front of him for a second then looked over. On the other side of the church, standing next to Poe, stood Rey looking like Sin itself.

 

   “Doesn’t she look nice?” his friend asked, wearing that stupid grin all the girls giggled over. 

 

   But he only gave Poe a split second of thought because seeing Rey had caused him to lose all train of thought. She was watching him with that curious look she sometimes gave him. He wanted to reply but his tongue wouldn’t move. Poe started talking to her again, making her smile. He wanted to make her smile like that. 

 

_    You want to make her do more than that _ , his mind whispered. 

 

   Poe sat back down and chuckled. “You should have seen your face.”

  
  


   Ben was grateful Luke wasn’t there. Had he been he probably would have called Rey out for wearing such an outfit. But he was so glad she had. And in his favorite color no less. A sharp elbow jabbed into his rib, pulling his attention away from Rey.

 

   “Stop being a creep would you? At least act like you’re listening,” Armie hissed.

 

   Poe snickered before they were all being silenced by the sharp shush from the woman behind them. Ben looked at his watch and bounced his leg impatiently. He needed to get out of here. It was like he could feel her eyes on him; that or he was becoming paranoid on top of all his other issues. He needed to go for a run, a cold shower maybe. Something.

 

   As soon as everyone said their Amen’s he headed straight for the door, willing himself to look straight ahead. He didn’t get very far though before he could hear her call his name once more. 

   She looked nervous as she asked to speak with him, especially when she asked they do so privately. Ben mentally choked at her request but quickly agreed. When he lead her to the other side of the church he found her staring. 

 

   “Everything okay?”

 

   She just kept looking at his shirt -no, his chest, he realized. She hadn’t even heard him. Ben couldn’t help but smile. 

 

   “Rey?”

 

   She seemed to snap out of her trance and looked up at him. “Sorry.”

 

   “You wanted to talk?” 

   “I did, yes. I, uh, wanted to thank you. For helping me yesterday.”

 

   That didn’t really seem like something that requires privacy, but then again perhaps she didn’t want anyone to know what had occurred at the farm.

 

   “You’re welcome.”

 

   They were staring at each other for far too long. And it was taking a lot of his will power to focus on just her face. Yet he got the feeling it was the same for her, as she ended up looking away and sighing as if frustrated. 

 

   “Look. ...I guess what I’m trying to say is...why.”

 

   He was confused.

 

   “Why?”

   “Why come after me? Why not Barriss?”

 

_    Ah. She caught that, huh. _

 

   He looked down at his boots trying to think of something to say. 

 

   “You needed help. And I was closer to you than Poe was.”

 

   It was the truth. Granted, he’d been scared for her and didn’t want to see her get hurt, but…

 

   “But she’s your girl-”

_    No!  _ “ _ Was _ my girlfriend,” he corrected. She seemed surprised by his tone but he needed her to know. “...Not anymore.” 

 

   He watched as she thought that over.

 

   “Is that...because of me?”

 

   For some reason her question hit him right in the gut. Had it been? He’d told himself it was because he was tired of the way Barriss treated him. But he’d been tired of that for months. He just never ended it because he liked her attention. But he’d become so mad at Barriss when she accused Rey that he just couldn’t take it anymore. Was it because Rey inspired him to have agency over some part of his life? Or was it because he was falling for her? 

   Movement caught his eye then and he watched a Terry Millford came around the corner yelling for Rey. Ben watched as Rey battled between leaving and staying then chose to look back at him, awaiting his answer. 

 

_    It’s both _ , he realized. And he allowed himself to finally look her over.  _ You’re bold and confident and never apologize for who you are. You try to see the good in others. ...And I hope you can see what little is left in me. I need to know someone still does. _

 

   Terry was still yelling, and slowly she stepped away from him. He wanted to tell her it was. Whisper into her slender neck that she was the one who gave him the strength to finally walk away. But she’d turned her back to him now, and he’d lost his chance. 

   He stood there for several seconds, watching her till she disappeared, hoping that he’d get the chance to tell her. And God willing, a chance to touch and show her what that meant to him.  __


	11. The Set Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rey is having a very bad day.

   Much to Rey’s surprise, Monday came and went without a single sign of Barriss. As did Tuesday. She ended up asking Ben if he’d heard from her but he’d said he hadn’t, and wasn’t about to check. Poe mentioned that Jessica told him Barriss’s father hadn’t taken kindly to finding one of his tractors damaged and had taken it out on her. Barriss had chosen to stay at home while the bruising went down. Rey couldn’t help but feel a little bad for her. 

   But she was back on Wednesday, glaring any time she walked past. That was also the day some of the girls on the gymnastics team started whispering about how Rey had sabotaged Barriss’s tractor, giving her the bruise on her face, and that Kylo had been in on it the whole time. Rey tried her best to ignore them but when it became clear their whispering was loud enough for her to hear she had turned around and scolded them all before storming out of the locker room. 

   Thursday wasn’t any better. Her friends had offered her comfort and tried to cheer her up but nothing seemed to help. She knew she must have looked just as down as she felt because even Ben stopped her in the hall and asked if she was okay.

 

   “Why is she doing this?” Rey asked. 

 

   She so badly wanted to be mad at him. But still she couldn’t find it in herself to blame him. Especially when his eyes were so clearly full of sympathy. He took a step towards her but stopped, as if holding back. 

 

   “She’s bitter. She’s mad at me and blames you and is lashing out at both of us. Believe me, they’re saying things about me too but I’m just use to it.”

   Rey sniffed to hold back the threat of tears. “I just... I don’t understand.”

   For some reason his expression became pained. “Don’t you though?” 

 

   Rey blinked, causing a tear to land on her cheek. Suddenly Ben’s large hand was gently grazing her face so as to wipe it away. 

 

   “Isn’t it obvious?”

 

   Rey didn’t say a word. She wasn’t even sure she could if she’d wanted to. Her silence must have hurt him though because he took on the look of an injured dog and pulled his hand away to take a step back before continuing on his way, eyes cast onto the floor. She stood there till he was out of sight then slowly walked to class.

 

_    Christ, Ben. I can’t deal with this right now. _

 

~

 

   She only had two more classes to go and this day would be over.

 

_    Except for gymnastics. Wonder what they’ll say today. _

 

   Rey was so lost in her thoughts as she packed her books into her bag that she almost didn’t hear the person walking past her.

 

   “Barriss sends her regards.”

 

   It was their snide tone that caught her attention. Rey looked up to watch some guy glance back at her as he walked out. Rey looked back down but a small white rolled piece of paper on her desk caught her eye. She picked it up and examined it. Her eyes blew wide as she quickly fisted it as she ran out of the room straight towards the principal's office.

 

~

 

   “Miss. Bliss, you realize how serious this situation is?”

 

   Rey sighed and rubbed her forehead to try and soothe her throbbing headache. She’d went straight to the principal and had handed over the joint and explained what had happened. The Resource Officer had searched her, her bag, her locker, her car, called her mother and now she was sitting here getting lectured again while she waited for Zorri to arrive. 

 

   “Mr. Dunbar, I am very aware. Which is why, like I said earlier, I came straight to you.”

   “So you said. But how do I know you don’t have more at home?”

   Rey couldn’t believe her ears. “What? Are you kidding me? If I was selling this stuff, which I’m not, why would I bring it to your attention? I would be doing the opposite!”

   “Well you say it was Jim Davis but we didn’t find him with anything. Nor on Barriss Offee.”

   “Why do you not believe me? I tell you she’s bullying me, spreading rumors, now planting drugs on me-”

   “We take illegal drugs very seriously, Miss. Bliss. This isn’t some inner city school-”

   “Oh my God!”

   “Excuse me?”

   “That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Outsider from the city comes in and you think that automatically makes me a drug dealer?”

   “I never said-”

   “But you implied it!”

   “Miss. Bliss-”

 

   A knock at the door interrupted him and Rey had never been more happy to see her mother. 

 

~

 

   If Rey chose to look at things in a positive light she could say that at least Barriss hadn’t planted anything else in, say, her locker or her car. She could say that at least she hadn’t gotten suspended. She could say that at least Zorri had defended her and told the principle where he could shove it. She could say that at least she’d been able to drive her car back home rather than having to ride with Zorri. She could say that she was lucky to have a boss as understanding as Chewie, who’d actually sounded worried about her and told her to return to work when she felt ready. She could say that she was lucky to have friends who were concerned for her, as was proof from how much her text chime had been going off. But while all of that was true, and she was grateful for all of it, she was finding it hard to feel positive about anything. 

 

   Zorri walked into the room and handed Rey a steaming mug of tea, before curling herself on the couch next to her. They were both silent, enjoying the fact that the twin nieces were at daycare and Terry and Lucy were at work. But Rey knew there was something she was wanting to say. 

 

   “Whatever it is, mom, just say it. I can tell you want to.”

   Zorri smiled at her before nodding. “I guess...I was just wondering how this happened. Sure, you’ve gotten into a few arguments with other kids before over the years. ...But nothing like this.”

   Rey looked out the window thoughtfully. “I honestly don’t know.” She paused, deciding how much she felt comfortable sharing. “Do you remember our first Sunday here? When we met Mr. Skywalker’s nephew, Ben?”

   Zorri cocked her head in thought, then shrugged. “A little bit. I just remember thinking that they looked nothing alike. And that he was incredibly tall.”

   Rey couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “Yeah, he is. He’s the one who told me about going to Chewie for a job.”

   “Oh?”

   “Yeah. The day after I went to thank him. Turned out his now ex is a psycho and instantly hated me for speaking to him and blames me for their breakup.”

 

   Zorri hummed as if everything was suddenly clear. Rey found that annoying. 

 

   “It’s messed up!”

   “Oh, I agree.” 

   Rey looked at her tea before looking back to her mother. “Of all the places in the world, why did we have to come here?”

 

   Rey watched as Zorri looked away from her as if in shame. Rey wasn’t sure why but she felt as though that was a question she shouldn’t have asked. 

 

   “After the divorce...there wasn’t much left. ...I tried-”

 

   Rey felt a spike of guilt. She knew Zorri didn’t like talking about her husband leaving. And Rey hated thinking about it because she was pretty sure she might have been partially to blame; causing yet another parent to abandon her. Rey leaned over and placed her hand atop Zorri’s. 

 

   “It’s okay. You don’t need to tell me. I get it. It’s just...hard. But I’ll manage. I always have.” 

 

   Zorri gave her a watery-eyed smile and leaned over to hug her.

 

   “But you shouldn’t have to. ...I’m sorry if I’ve failed you as a parent.”

   Rey squeezed her tightly. “You haven’t failed, mom. You’re the one person who never has.”

   She could hear Zorri try and stifle a small sob but she stayed were she was till Zorri let her go to wipe at her eyes.

 

   “I’ll, uh, go make us all some dinner.” 

 

   Rey watched as Zorri took the mug she’d given her and walked towards the kitchen. But she stopped in the doorway and looked back at her. 

 

   “Rey? I really am proud of you. Having you in my life has been one of the best things about it.”

 

~

 

   Rey had started to feel a little better after talking with her mother but that all seemed to fly out the door when Terry got home. It was bad enough to hear Lucy whispering and probing about the matter, but getting lectured by another deftone old man twice in the same day was more than Rey was willing to tolerate. 

  
  


   “Is this true, Rey?”

 

   Rey glanced up at Terry from her assigned copy of Much Ado About Nothing and quirked an eyebrow. 

 

   “Well? Answer me young lady? Did you bring drugs to school?”

   Rey glared at him. “If I said I hadn’t, would you believe me?”

   “Don’t act smart. How you behave reflects on my family.”

   “I’m gonna take that as a no.”

   “Where did you get it? Are you hiding drugs in my house?”

   “Terry,” Zorri interjected.

   Rey rose from the couch and stood her ground. “I don’t have any. I don’t use any! And it was placed on my desk by someone trying to get me expelled!” 

   Terry’s face turned blotchy red. “Do not raise your voice at me young lady. I would have assumed my sister taught you better.”

   “Excuse me!” Zorri yelled. 

   “Don’t you dare bring her into this,” Rey hissed. “Just because you agreed to help her doesn’t mean you get to lord over us or give you the right to act like my father.”

   “You live in this house you- ...Rey! Rey, get back here!”

 

   Rey shoved past him and stomped past Lucy, who stepped out of her way while holding a dirty dish. She grabbed her bag and keys off the mudroom bench and shoved open the door. 

 

   “Rey?” she could hear Zorri yell. 

   “I need some head space,” she called back before slamming her car door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's no longer the 80s. A teacher isn't just going to give some kid a verbal warning if they get caught with weed. So I had to change this a bit. Not sure how realistic my turn of events would actually be but it's what I came up with. *shrug*


	12. Those Who Care

   Luke looked at himself in the mirror and straightened his tie. He wanted to make sure he looked his best, even when out and about in the community. He glanced over at the stairs, debating whether or not to let Ben know he was stepping out. But he thought better of it. If Ben thought he was still at home then he might be less inclined to sneak off. 

 

   Luke grabbed his keys and opened the door, only to find Poe Dameron on the other side, hand raise as if he was just about to knock. 

 

   “Ah, Mr. Skywalker, sir. How are you this fine evening?”

 

   Luke raised an eyebrow in mute amusement. He didn’t mind the boy, but he always found Poe’s attempts at charm tiresome. 

 

   “I’m fine. I take it you’re here to see Ben?”

   “Yes sir!” 

   Luke stepped out of the way and nodded for Poe to come in. “Here to study?”

   “Yes sir.”

   “Hmm. And...where are your school books?”

 

   Luke watched as the boy visibly blanked. If he were a betting man, which he wasn’t, he would have bet Poe wasn’t actually here to study. 

 

   Poe grinned. He reached out to pat Luke on the arm. “Still sharp as ever, Mr. Skywalker. Ben actually wanted me to help him on a project.”

   “Hmm. Ben never mentioned he was working on a project.”

   Poe again attempted a charming grin. “Well, we both know how he likes to keep to himself. Right?”

   Luke sighed and turned towards the door. “Don’t stay too late Poe.”

   “Not a problem. Enjoy your evening, Mr. Skywalker!”

 

   Luke mumbled a thanks and shut the door. 

  
  
  


   Poe leaned against the entryway as he sighed in relief then quickly turned and ran up the stairs. He wasn't surprised to find Ben's door locked, so he banged on it.

 

   "Ben! Come on man, it's me. Open up would ya?"

 

   The door cracked open for a split-second before being pulled fully open; Ben removing an earbud and looking visibly confused. Poe pushed past him into the room.

 

   “What are you doing here?”

   Poe fished out his phone from his back pocket. “Rey text you?”

   Ben frowned slightly. “No. ...I don’t actually have her number.”

   “Really?” Poe asked in surprise. “I’ll give it to you.”

   “Wait, what’s going on? Does Luke know you’re here?”

   “Yes. Ran into him as he was leaving. And if he asks, I helped you with your ‘project’.”

   Ben narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have a project.”

 

   Poe ignored him, choosing instead to focus on his screen. Ben sighed and shut his door before sitting back at his desk. 

 

   “So,” Poe drawled out. “Got a text from Rey earlier today, asking me to take Finn and Rose home. Not a big deal. Normally she’ll send me a thanks as a reply but today she didn’t.”

   “So?”

   “Then as I’m dropping Finn off his phone starts blowing up. Here.” 

 

   Poe handed over his phone and watched as Ben read through the group chat. His expression quickly went from bored to murderous. Once he was done he shoved the phone back at him and started putting his boots back on. 

 

   “You said Luke’s gone?”

   “Yeah…why? Where you going?”

   “Rey’s.”

 

   Poe wasn’t sure if he’d get punched for saying it, but he felt it was a point to bring up. 

 

   “You sure that’s a good idea?” Ben stopped and looked at him. Poe shrugged. “I mean, I know you care about her, but I’m not sure running off to her is the best idea.” 

 

   Ben gave him that look he gave most people who he was considering cussing them out, but he remained silent. 

 

   “It’s just...Rey might...blame you...a little. According to Rose.”

   Ben froze, and his look of anger changed into hurt. “She does?”

   “I mean, I can kind of understand her point of view.”

   Ben began pacing the room. “I didn’t mean for her to get hurt. I even tried to prevent it!”  

   “I know you did. But hey, she must not hate you too bad! Rose also said she wore that black dress Sunday just for you.”

 

   Ben paused and looked back at him. Hope flickered in his eyes but was quickly replaced by sorrow. 

 

   “But that was before today.”

   “Yeah, there’s that. ...Look. she must not hate you too bad. You know how she is. She’s a fighter. If she truly blamed you she would have asked for your number and chewed you out.

 

   Ben huffed a small laugh. Poe watched as his friend messed with his hair while thinking it over. 

 

   “I’m still gonna go. Even if she hates me now...I’d rather know for myself.”

 

   Poe had a feeling his friend was still going to go. Ben was kind of bull headed that way. He hoped Rey would find it more charming that irritating. And because he was a worse gossip than his grandmother, Poe decided to texted Rose all about it.

 

~

 

   Zorri had felt completely at a loss as she watched Rey drive away. Her anger had driven her right back inside to argue with her brother over his inconsiderate handling of the situation. Lucy, unsurprisingly, was of little help. Zorri knew she was riled up because typically she tried to avoid any type of conflict. They reminded her too much of the painful arguments she’d had with her ex-husband. When it was apparent Terry wasn’t going to see his error and she was getting ready to walk away, a loud knock sounded at the door.  

 

   “Now who is that? Lucy? Can you get the door?” Terry yelled. And mumbled while shooting Zorri with a look, “Better not be the police.” 

 

   The two of them silently fumed while they listened. At the mention of Rey’s name they both walked to see who their visitor was. At the door stood Luke’s nephew. The boy glanced over at them. 

 

   “Well do you know where she went?” he asked in an anxious tone. 

 

   Lucy looked back at Terry. Zorri walked towards Ben and shook her head sadly.

 

   “I’m sorry. She just said she needed some head space. She’s never ran off like this before. Maybe she’s with Rose?” She watched as he looked out and around him, his expression worried. His obvious concern didn’t help to ease hers. 

 

   “Yeah, okay. I’ll check.”

 

   Zorri watched as he jumped off the porch and strode to his vehicle before Lucy closed the door. 

 

   “You know I found the two of them together behind the church Sunday? If your daughter hangs out with Ben Solo, then it’s no wonder she’s found trouble. Luke does his best, Lord bless him, but that kid will always be a bad seed, if you ask me.”

   “A shame too. His parents were so nice,” Lucy commented. 

 

   Zorri shook her head in disbelief at the two of them and felt ashamed to even be around them. 

 

   “Well he’s clearly concerned about Rey. That’s more than I can say about the two of you,” she said solemnly before walking away. 

 

~

 

   Since Ben never felt the need to have Rose or Finn’s numbers he opted to text Poe instead. Annoyingly, Poe ended up lumping him in their little chat group. But it gave him his answer at least. Rey wasn’t with them. 

 

   “Where the hell are you?” he mumbled. 

 

   The idea of asking Chewie popped in his mind. He hadn’t actually talked to the man in at least five years, but he knew Rey seemed to genuinely like working for him. Maybe she’d went there? Ben forcefully shifted the Jeep into higher gear as he sped out of the town’s limits and towards Millennium Auto. 


	13. Acrobat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My version of the Warehouse Dance scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refused to use an angry 80s saxophone dance music! So I've replaced the song with "Acrobat" by U2 (If you've read my other fic, Food Over Flowers, you know I'm a fan.) 
> 
> I can't seem to link the song up here, so I'll link it above the chapter. PLEASE listen to the song either before or during the dance, as it will help you get an idea for how Rey is feeling. 
> 
> Also, this is my first attempt at ever writing a dance scene so I really hope it doesn't suck. And I took kiddy ballet for two years...(counts on fingers)...twenty six years ago. So if I've gotten terms wrong, I was five and the internet can only help but so much. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

 

[Acrobat by U2](https://open.spotify.com/search/results/acrobat%20u2)

 

   Rey hadn't felt this blindingly angry in years. She’d hoped the driving would make her feel better, but it wasn’t. Especially since she was just getting angrier over the fact she kept having to wipe away her tears. She needed to stop, but between town and Millennium Auto there was just empty fields, railroad tracks, and what looked like some kind of abandoned warehouse up ahead.

   Without really thinking it over, Rey pulled up to the warehouse and stared at it. She didn’t see any posted trespassing signs. 

 

 _Why not. I’m sure this town would love to add Trespasser to my list of transgressions._ “Looks like a good place to hide from my problems anyway.”

 

   Rey got out of her car and widened the open door so she could drive inside. She doubted anyone would drive out this way, but she’d prefer to go unnoticed all the same. 

  


   She wasn’t sure what to expect once inside, but Rey liked the fact that it was dark and spacious. Metal stairs and catwalks, wooden rafters, heavy looking chains dangling down, what looked like flour in stalls along the walls. It kind of reminded her of those old Eighties music videos they’d randomly shoot in places like this. 

   Rey would have found that more humorous if the buzz of anger wasn’t still coursing through her. But that random observation stuck with her.

 

_This could be like my own secret dance studio. I could come here and practice. Get away from everything and just...let go. Like I used to._

  


   A memory of one of her caseworkers crept to mind; the woman telling her that dance might be a better way for her to express her frustrations for her current situation than vandalism. Rey smiled. She’d taken the advice to heart and had done just that. As soon as Zorri and Danny had adopted her and brought her to America she’d asked if she could have proper lessons. Despite all the ups and downs, until recently, Zorri had always made sure Rey had at least that.

  


   Rey dug out her iPod out of the glove box, plugged it in, looked up “Acrobat” and cranked up the Beetle’s speaker system. Slowly, as the symbols singled out their rhythm and the high pitched hum of an electric guitar drifted into a screech, Rey closed her eyes and began to walk backwards, letting her mind disconnect as the bass casually smoothed its way into the mix of noise. 

   Filling her lungs full of air as the drums came in, Rey summoned all of her anger and burst out into a run, leaping into a Grand Jetes as the symbols crashed, and imagined her heart racing to the riffs.

 

_“Don't believe what you hear._

_Don't believe what you see.”_

 

   Rey landed and placed her feet in Fourth position and rolled her torso around, pulling her arms and hands up to glide across her eyes.

 

_“If you just close your eyes_

_You can feel the enemy.”_

 

   Her arms wrapped around herself.

 

_“When I first met you girl_

_You had fire in your soul.”_

 

   She twirled, letting her arms burst outward and around her. Then she bent lower, bringing her hands down to her face and letting them fan down to the floor.

 

_“What happened your face of melting in snow?”_

_Now it looks like this”_

 

   Rey looked up, her eyes ablaze with rage, and once again broke out into a run.

 

_“And you can swallow_

_Or you can spit”_

 

   She fell into a forward roll then leapt up and out of it.

 

_“You can throw it up_

_Or choke on it”_

 

   Rey spun on her toes, her head leaned back as she pretended to choke herself. 

 

_“And you can dream_

_So dream out loud”_

 

   Rey grounded herself for a split second as she let her hands fall and pushed off the ground, twisting her waist and leaning forward so as both of her legs could twirl in the air behind her. 

 

_“You know that your time is coming 'round_

_So don't let the bastards grind you down”_

 

   Rey spun for a few turns to slow her momentum then held up her arms above her head and went into Bourree, standing on tip-toe and moving in a tiny circle as she swayed her upper body, as if she were a spinning top.

 

   Being close to the stairs, Rey lept onto them, stomping her way up hurriedly as the drums beat against the guitar, landing onto the catwalk as the symbol was hit again. 

 

_“ No, nothing makes sense_

_Nothing seems to fit”_

 

   Rey closed her eyes and held her head while she spun in loose circles.

 

_“I know you'd hit out_

_If you only knew who to hit”_

 

   She threw herself against the plank boarding that was meant to act as railing, picturing them as all those who’d belittled her along her way.

 

_“And I'd join the movement_

_If there was one I could believe in”_

 

   Rey slid to the floor as she caught her breath for a moment then dramatically walked back down the steps, head held high.

 

_“Yeah I'd break bread and wine_

_If there was a church I could receive in_

_'Cause I need it now”_

 

   Reaching the bottom, Rey grabbed onto the handrail and twirled herself overtop it. 

 

_“To take the cup_

_To fill it up”_

 

   She bent down and swept her hands low, pretending to scoop up the holy wine in the invisible cup in her hands.

 

_“To drink it slow_

_I can't let you go”_

 

   She moved her hands towards her mouth and let her fingers slide over her lips and down her chin, the Blood of Christ spilling as she drank greedily to wash away her pain and guilt. Then she slung her arms to the side with finality, casting aside the cup. Over on the other side of the warehouse a dangling chain caught her eye.

 

_“I must be an acrobat”_

_To talk like this_

_And act like that”_

 

   She cartwheeled then performed a handstand, her movements bringing her closer to the chain.

 

_“And you can dream_

_So dream out loud_

_And don't let the bastards grind you down”_

 

   Rey stood on her tiptoes, reaching her extended arms to the sky then slowly kneeled down onto the floor.

 

_“Oh, it hurts baby”_

 

   She wrapped her arms around her as she leaned forward to place her head on the floor and curl in on herself.

 

_“What are we going to do? Now it's all been said”_

 

   Rey couldn’t help but think of Ben. Of him gently touching her cheek and his sad brown eyes.

 

_“No new ideas in the house and every book has been read”_

 

   Rey looked up and bolted towards the chain. She grabbed hold and forcefully swung it around, gaining momentum before leaping onto it and closing her eyes. The grinding riffs and insistent drum beats matched her chaotic emotions and Rey let them swirl inside her like a swarm of bees.

 

_“And I must be an acrobat_

_To talk like this_

_And act like that”_

 

   She wrapped her legs and feet as tightly as she could around the chain and leaned backwards as far as she could, feeling the chain’s momentum slow.

 

_“And you can dream_

_So dream out loud_

_And you can find_

_Your own way out”_

 

   She sat back up and let herself slide down to the ground.

 

_“And you can build_

_And I can will_

_And you can call_

_I can't wait until”_

 

   Rey lunged from side to side, swaying her arms, then stopped and lept over to her car.

 

_“You can stash_

_And you can seize”_

 

   Dramatically she fell against the car door then angrily pushed off of it and spun away.

 

_“Responsibilities_

_And I can love_

_And I can love_

_And I know that the tide is turning 'round_

_So don't let the bastards grind you down”_

  


   Rey slowed her spin and drooped her way down to the floor till she could gently lay upon it, her arm draped over her face, the other stretching up towards heaven then falling away to the side. 

  
  


   She stared at the steel ceiling as she breathed heavily, relishing the burn in her muscles. It had been awhile since she danced that hard. After a few seconds she sat up, dusted off her arms, and stood. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a shadow shift on the floor. 

 

   Rey whipped around and yelped in surprise. “Christ! ….Ben? What...uh, what are you doing here?” _How did he find me? Was he watching me?_

 

   Ben stepped away from the door and walked toward her. His hair was clearly windswept, clinging to the edges of his face, but somehow it still looked good. Rey thought, not for the first time, how unfair it was for him to have perfect hair. As he drew closer she couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassment over how much of a mess she had to look. She’d cried off and on for most of the afternoon and had just spent the last five minutes dancing like her life depended on it. 

   

   He looked her over before looking straight into her eyes, a small smile parted his lips. “Rey, that was incredible!” 

   She knew what he meant, but like an idiot, her brain stalled. “What was?”

   His smile grew wider, causing her to notice his crooked upper canines.“You! Your dance,” he declared excitedly, waving his hand around the warehouse. “It was so,” he paused, looking as if he was frustrated over his inability to fully describe what he was trying to convey. “Raw. You clearly put a lot of emotion into that.”

   Rey looked over his face then broke into a shy grin and nodded. “Yeah, actually, I did. It felt good.” 

   “When I imagine you dancing...it’s never anything like that.”

   Rey stilled and gave a short chuckle of disbelief. “You’ve imagined me dancing?”

 

   His sudden change of expression made it very clear that he hadn’t meant to divulge that bit of information. Rey couldn’t help the blush the crept over her face. 

 

   “Well now I’m curious to know what you did imagine.”

 

   Ben’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he let out a nervous laugh. Rey grinned but let him off the hook. 

 

   “What are you doing here?”

   His typical serious expression returned. “Poe came by and told me what happened. ...I went straight to your house but your mom said you’d left. I checked with Rose and Finn but they didn’t know.”

   “Wait,” she said, holding up her hand. “You hear I have a shit day and you...feel compelled to hunt me down?”

   He shifted his hair out of his face, as if he was nervous. “Poe said you might blame me for everything.”

   Rey let out an exasperated sigh and began to pace. “I swear, Rose and Poe gosip like old women!”

   “Poe is far worse,” Ben agreed. “Trust me.”

 

   Rey looked over at him for a moment then pushed the strands of her loosened hair out of her face and walked back to her car. She didn’t have to look back to know Ben was following her. Was she mad that he’d went looking for her? She wasn’t sure. Part of her was irritated by it but another part of her liked the idea of him seeming desperate to find her and make sure she was alright. Rey looked at her reflection on the window and watched as Ben’s came to stand behind her.

 

   “But I understand if you do,” she heard him say solemnly.

 

   Rey closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see the look he sometimes got when his feelings got hurt. He tried hiding it with bravado but it never worked. Rey could always see through it, because she was the same way.

 

   “If you hate me-”

   “I don’t...hate you, Ben.” Rey turned to face him. “I’ve never hated you. It just sucks, getting almost expelled all just because you like me.”

   Ben looked away from her and nodded. “I never meant for you to get hurt, Rey. I hope you know that.”

   Rey’s heart clenched at his defeated tone and she gently reached out and stroked his cheek just as he had hers earlier that day. “I do know that.”

 

   Ben met her eyes again before looking over her face in the same way he had on Sunday. Rey felt her skin warm as his gaze settled on her lips and he leaned down toward her mouth, her hand sliding across his face and into his hair. She’d wonder what it would be like to kiss him but something about this moment felt off. 

   Rey gripped his hair but as their lips where about to touch she shifted her face, causing him to brush against her cheek. She allowed him to pull back enough just to look at her, his expression confused and a little hurt. Rey gave him a small, warm smile before grazing the tip of her nose against his.

 

   “I want to. Some day. But right now might not be the best time. ...Okay?”

 

   She pulled back a little more to look at him completely, hoping that he understood. He pressed his lips together as he sighed through his nose, his jaw tightening then relaxing, and gave a small nod. 

 

   “Okay,” he said in that deep tone that left Rey a little breathless. “Then I’ll wait.”

 

   She took a moment to read his expression. He didn’t smile, but his eyes did, and that was enough. Rey leaned into his chest and let her hand fall from his hair; his arms gently wrapping around her lower back. Unlike Poe, who always smelled of cologne, or Finn, who must roll in Axe every morning, Ben smelled like clean linen and fresh air with a hint of Sandalwood. It was wonderful. And surprisingly, comforting. 

 

   “Ben?” she mumbled into his shirt. “How did you know where to find me?”

   His arms hugged her a little more tightly and she felt him rest his chin atop her head. “I didn’t. ...But I had this feeling you might head to the shop, since you seem to like it there. Ended up hearing your music and knew it had to be you.” 

   Rey smiled to herself. Funny how he was the one person who’d figured out where she was heading. “Guess I can’t use this as my secret hiding place then.”

   She could feel his small laugh rumble in his chest. “You still can. Though you might want to turn the volume down and shut the door next time.”

   Rey laughed as she slowly pulled away. “Yeah I guess that’s a good idea.”

   Now that he wasn’t holding her, Ben seemed like he didn’t know what to do with his hands, and stuffing them into his jeans he asked, “Would you like to see mine? My hideout I mean?”

   Rey looked at him with surprise. She found the idea a little funny, as she’d just assumed he sat in his room brooding all afternoon. “You have a secret hiding place?”

   “On the outskirts of town, at the railyard. Not far from here.”

 

   Rey looked out the door to see it was getting close to sundown, but her curiosity was peaked. She clearly didn’t know Ben Solo as well as she thought she did. 

 

   “Okay.” 

   “Yeah?” he said in slight surprise. He must have assumed she’d say no. “Alright. ...Um, you can either ride with me or drive separate. I doubt I can fit in your tiny ass car.”

   Rey playfully scoffed. “Don’t insult my car! Not all of us are giants who prefer to go without a roof.”

 

   Ben grinned at her but turned to head back towards his Jeep. Rey watched him leave for a moment then turned back to her Beetle. When she got inside she lovingly rubbed the dash.

 

   “Don’t worry VB. You’re a wonderful car.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peaks out from behind my rock* Was that okay? I'd love your feed back. There's going to be more dance scenes later on in other chapters down the line, so it will be nice to know if this was easy to understand and follow. Thank you for reading and for your comments!


	14. Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a better look at Ben and his backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: If anyone has had a near death experience involving a train then I warn you now, this chapter has that.

   “Careful. Watch your step,” Ben warned, as they made their way over the many tracks; weaving between the various shipping containers and tankers. 

 

   “There,” Ben said, pointing to a rusted boxcar off by itself on one of the lesser used looking switch tracks.

 

   It was mostly dark outside, with just a few lights around the yard lighting up the area, but inside the car was pitch black. Rey watched as Ben climbed in and switched on a light before offering his hand to help her climb up. He was holding what Rey guessed was some sort of camping lantern and handed her another. Rey turned it on and looked around her. There was a beanbag, a folding metal chair, an old rug, and a lock box off to one side. Posters, pictures, and writings covered most of the interior walls. Rey wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. 

 

   “What are these?” She asked as she read the words on the wall closest to her. 

   “Song lyrics, quotes from novels, monologues from plays, bits of poetry and then some drawings I’ve done over the years.” 

   Rey let out an airy laugh of surprise. “Ben Solo, I never would have pegged you for a lover of the arts! ...This is brilliant!” She took a moment to finish reading one of the pieces before tapping it and looking back at him. “What is this from?” 

   “‘We can’t strike’. It’s from Les Miserables.”

   She grinned at him. “So you wish to be a writer? Or a playwright?”

 

   He brushed his hair off to the side and smiled as though the thought of such a thing was quite amusing.

 

   “Uh, no,” he laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’d be terrible at it.” He paused then, becoming anxious all of a sudden. “No, I was thinking...something more along the lines of acting.” He was looking at her as if he was holding his breath, afraid of her reaction. 

   “An actor?” She hadn’t said this with judgment, more in surprise. When Ben nodded she looked back at the wall. “Hmm. I suppose I can see that. Are you in the Drama club?”

   “I was for a short while. I got kicked out when I got into a heated...debate...with another student.”

   Rey huffed and shook her head slightly. “You need to control that.”

   “I’m aware of my temper,” he snipped.

 

   She gave him a pointed look that caused him to swallow and look away as if she’d verbally scolded him. 

 

   “What I’m saying is, use that energy to fuel your performance. I do. And let positive criticism help you perfect your talent.”

   When he looked back at her his whole demeanor relaxed. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he replied softly. “...It clearly works for you.”

 

   Rey could feel her cheeks warm at his words. She turned and continued looking over his selections. Themes of loss, anger, frustration, helplessness, hope, and even love seemed to be his favorite.

 

   “Do you come here to practice?” She tried to imagine his large frame standing in this small space, reading dramatically to no one.

   “I come here for several reasons. I practice with Poe sometimes, or just hang out to get away from everyone. On the rare occasion when I’m drunk off my ass I’ll crash here till I’m sober enough to head back to Luke’s.”

 

   The mention of Luke made Rey think back to one afternoon when Chewie had told her about a road trip he’d taken with Ben’s family back before Ben was born. She’d asked him why Ben lived with his uncle but Chewie had just quietly told her that it wasn’t his story to tell. 

 

   “Do you mind if I ask...why you live-”

   “With Luke?” he finished. His mood seemed to grow sour instantly. 

 

   He took her lantern from her and headed for the door. Rey took that as a sign that her visit was over. She stayed silent as she watched him slide the car door shut; regretting having even asked the question. 

 

   “My mom,” he said suddenly, “she’s the one who made me go live with him. ...See, my parents were pretty dedicated to their careers and hadn’t exactly planned on having a kid.” He laughed bitterly. “I was their first mistake. Their marriage because of me being their second.”

 

   Rey rubbed at her arm and shifted uncomfortably. It was pretty obvious talking about it hurt him. He’d been looking off somewhere behind her, relieving an old memory most likely, but then shrugged when he glanced down at her.

 

   “It’s not like they didn’t love me...they just...weren't really there when I needed them. You know?”

 

   Rey didn’t know. She didn’t know if her parents had loved her or not. But now wasn’t the right time to share that bit of information. She wanted to know about him. And he was finally opening up. 

   Ben shoved his hands into his pockets and began walking back the way they’d come. Somewhere in the distance an echo of a horn blared. 

 

   “It just sucked, being ignored and on occasion forgotten. So since being perfect wasn’t working I figured I’d act the opposite. I’d run off. Destroy random things of theirs. Get into fights. Stole something from the teacher’s desk once. Dad had no clue what to do. ...But mom...she was freaking out. I always assumed it was because she was worried I would make her look bad.” 

 

   He came to a stop in the middle of a set of tracks; Rey almost bumping into him. He was silent for a moment, letting the sound of distant dinging replace his words. Then turned back to look at her, the yellow lighting casting his face half in shadow. 

 

   “But then, years later, Luke told me she was just scared I’d turn out like my grandfather. A man I knew nothing about. Apparently the guy was a real piece of shit. Got it in his head my grandmother was having an affair with his friend so he lost it; beat her and killed his friend.”

 

   Rey’s mouth dropped open in horror. Ben nodded his head as if in agreement. 

 

   “He died in prison but not before Luke came to him, a newly minted pastor looking to save his father from his sins. He told mom their father died a saved man but…” Ben looked pained. “That’s why she sent me to Luke. She thought maybe he could save me from a similar fate.”

 

   Ben sniffed and looked away from her, the light revealing unshed tears in his eyes. 

 

   “Dad thought it was bullshit but didn’t stop them. They separated a few years later. It was on his way to visit that he died in a car crash.”

 

   Rey stood there with no clue what to say. Never in a million years would she have guessed anything that he’d just shared with her. A single tear rolled down his cheek but he didn’t move to wipe it away. Rey moved to hug him but the blast of an engine’s horn made her jump. Down the line, the light of an oncoming train shown. Rey looked back at him and squeezed his arm before moving onward. 

   She’d moved a few steps when she realized he wasn’t following. Rey turned to see Ben still standing in the middle of the track, facing the fast approaching train; its horn sounding for him to clear the path. 

 

   “Ben?” she asked in a worried tone. “Come on. ...Ben?”

 

   He didn’t answer her. He just kept staring at the train.

 

   “Ben!”

 

   She could barely hear him over the train but it sounded like he was saying something about if it was like this for his father. Rey didn’t have time to think about his words. The train was literally about to hit him and he wasn’t even moving.

   Rey reacted without giving it a single thought. At the last second Rey ran as fast as she could and threw herself into Ben, hoping it would be enough to knock them both across and out of the way. The sound of the train’s horn and clacking wheels pierced her eardrums. She might have been screaming, she wasn’t sure, but she held on tightly to Ben, her mind taking in everything as if it were in slow motion. When the sound died away Rey opened her eyes. She was on the ground, on top of Ben, mere inches away from the track. She looked at their tangled legs to make sure they were still indeed attached, then turned to look down at Ben. He was looking up at her as if in shock. They just laid there, looking at one another before she yelled at him.

 

   “What the hell, Ben! What were you thinking?”

   “I...I wasn’t…” 

 

   He seemed to stunned to speak. Rey let her head fall into the crook of his neck and tried to steady her breathing. She felt his hands move over her back so that his arms were now completely wrapped around her, holding her close. 

 

   “It was like I was back there looking at the broken headlights,” he whispered. 

 

   Rey swore under her breath then looked back down at him. 

 

   “You saved me.” 

 

   The way he said it was as if he couldn’t believe someone had even bothered to do such a thing. Rey placed her forehead onto his and closed her eyes. 

 

   “Come on. We both need to go home.” Then she pulled away to look him dead in the eyes. “And don’t ever scare me like that! ...I’ve already lost enough people I care about in my life.”

 

   Ben said nothing but slowly nodded and reluctantly let her go. Rey stood to dust herself off then offered Ben her hand. He glanced at it before taking it and letting her help him up. Carefully they made their way back to their vehicles, not uttering a word yet still holding hands. 

 

   “Will you be okay?” Rey asked as she let go of his hand and stood next to her car.

   Ben rubbed at the back of his head and nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay. Thanks to you.”

   Rey chewed on her lip, still worried, but nodded. “Mind if I text you? I just want to make sure you make it home.”

   Ben moved to place a strand of her hair back behind her ear. “I’ll be fine. How about I text you. Poe gave me your number earlier anyway.”

   Rey gave him a weak smile. “I’d like that.”

 

~

 

   Rey quietly opened the back door and tiptoed inside. As she made her way to the stairs Rey caught sight of Zorri sitting curled up on the couch, reading a book with her hands propped on a box of tissues. 

 

   “Mom?”

   Zorri turned to look and quickly rushed over to her. “Rey,” she loudly whispered, “Thank God you’re alright! I was starting to think you weren’t coming back.”

   “I'm fine. I just lost track of time.”

   Zorri stepped back to look at her. “Please don’t run off like that again. At the very least let me know where you’re going.”

   “I will.”

 

   Zorri worried at her lip but let her go.   

 

   “I promise! I will. I’m sorry I worried you. But I’m exhausted, and I’m sure you are too.” 

 

   Zorri didn’t say anything but nodded and backed away. 

 

   “Try to get some sleep mom.”

 

   Her mother gave her a weak smile as she wrapped her arms around herself. 

 

   “Goodnight, Rey.”

   Rey breathed out a sigh and headed to her room. “Night, mom.”

  
  


   Rey felt guilt creep over her as she made her way to her room but pushed it aside. She was too tired and had been through too much to think about that now. Instead she focused on changing into clean clothes, climbing into bed, and hoping Ben made it home okay.

 

~

 

   Ben still felt like he was in a daze as he pulled into the driveway. The light. The noise. The sudden pain from gravel stabbing into him. The weight of Rey on his chest. He rubbed his hand over his face and trudged towards the door.

   It was like he had been twelve again, staring at the smashed remains of his father’s car; it’s headlights still shining in his face. Ben wasn’t sure what had come over him but he was glad Rey had been there. He’d be dead right now if she hadn’t pushed him out of the way; risked herself to save him. 

 

_    “I’ve already lost enough people I care about in my life” _

 

   Her words tugged at his heart. What had she meant by that? Ben shook his head and went inside, trying to be as silent as he could. As he climbed the second flight of stairs the light flicked on. Ben shielded his eyes for a moment then looked up to see Luke standing at the top; his hand on the switch. Neither man said a word nor moved. 

 

   “You’re late.”

 

   Ben didn’t answer, choosing instead to steeled himself for the oncoming argument and ignore the way his body screamed for rest. 

 

   “I called Poe’s father but he said you weren't there. I spoke to Barriss also.”

 

   Ben stiffened. 

 

   “She...had quite a lot to say,” His tone indicating that phone call had not been an enjoyable one. 

   “Well whatever it was, I’m sure it wasn’t good.” 

 

   Ben climbed the last few steps but Luke didn’t move. Instead he matched him, glare for glare. 

 

   “Were you drinking?”

   “No.”

   “Gambling?”

   “What? No!”

   “Steal anything?”

   “No!” 

 

   He was about to swear but caught himself at the last second. Doing so would only make this worse. 

 

   “I went out to find Rey. She-”

   “Yes, I heard about Miss Bliss. ...Bringing drugs to school.”

   “No! Luke, she-”

   “I warned you not to hang out with her.”

   “What?”

   “She’s a bad influence, Ben. And that is trouble you-”

   “You don’t even know her! She did nothing wrong!”

   “Ben-”

   “No!” He pushed past Luke and stormed toward his door. “Rey is a good person and actually cares. ...Unlike you. You’re so disillusioned with the world, so obsessed with saving people that you don’t even take the time to know them. You just assume the worst in everyone; making it your mission to fix them. You’ve got this whole damn town-”

   “Ben!”

   “- in the palm of your hand and you can’t stand the idea of it not following your perfectly curated rules! Of, of not having absolute control!”

   “Enough of this!” Luke yelled. 

 

   Ben paused in his own blind tirade to see Luke truly fuming. 

 

   “I promised your mother that I would look after you. Keep you on God’s righteous path. And I will keep that promise. Despite the trials you throw at me.”

 

   Ben’s anger fizzled out, and he stood there, shaking his head. Luke had become a blind man telling people were to walk. 

 

   “You don’t have me walking God’s path, uncle. You have me walking yours.” 

 

   He turned away and walked into his room; locking the door behind him. Ben leaned against the door and listened as the steps creaked under Luke’s footsteps as he went back downstairs. He hated fighting with Luke, but it was becoming a more frequent occurrence, to where now he tried avoiding him at all costs. Ben hadn’t expected for him to still be up this late.  

   Sighing, he walked over to his bed, pulled his phone out of his pocket, fell onto his bed, and texted Rey. A second later she sent him a reply thanking him for letting her know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “We can’t strike. Why not? Because it’s against the law to strike! The king has declared that everything is a crime. Writing is a crime. Two weeks ago, the police destroyed the Galaty, the worker’s newspaper. They smashed the press. They burned over two thousand newspapers but that didn’t satisfy the king. Three days ago at a student meeting, a peaceful meeting, soldiers broke it up and arrested two of my friends. Writing, talking, going to class, speaking out is a crime. Being poor is a crime. Being poor is the worst crime of all. And if you commit these crimes, you are condemned for life. Our government has no mercy, no pity, no forgiveness. And there’s no work for us. And because there’s no work, our children are starving. Tell me: why are we powerless to save the people we love? All of you know. Tell me – why? The king betrayed us. We were promised the vote, do we have it? Do we have the vote? Where is the republic our fathers died for? It’s here my brothers. It lives here in our heads. But most of all, best of all, it’s here in our hearts. In our hearts – WE ARE THE REPUBLIC!”
> 
> "We Can't Strike" - Marius from Les Miserables


	15. Uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took a while and for the small chapter. I was away for a weekend vacation. This is a bit of a slower chapter.

   Barriss wasn’t in the mood to chit-chat this morning and instead chose to keep to herself rather than partake in the usual morning gosip rounds. First she was completely humiliated by being pulled out of class yesterday just to have her locker publicly raided, then she’d had to explain to her mother that the Principal's phone call was all just an overly cautious misunderstanding. And then, to top it all off, Reverend Skywalker had had the nerve to call and ask about Ben. 

   As she twisted her lock combination, Barriss glanced over at Ben’s locker but her attention was quickly pulled back when something fell past her face. A folded note landed at her feet. Barris picked it up and quickly unfolded it to find Ben’s flowing cursive.

 

**_I don’t know what you told Luke and I don’t really care._ **

**_But if you ever pull what you did to Rey_ **

**_again, I will spill every dirty secret you have._ **

**_Even if it means I go down too._ **

 

   A cold chill ran up Barriss’s spine as she swallowed down her sudden panic. She looked around to make sure no one had read over her shoulder then quickly balled up the note and shoved it to the bottom of her bookbag.

 

~

 

   Rey really didn’t want to attend practice today, but if yesterday’s dance had proven anything it was that she needed to limber up. So Rey took a deep breath, pushed open the door to the girls locker room, and prayed no one asked any questions. But before she could even touch her locker the coach called her into the office. Rey licked her lips nervously and walked into the tiny overstuffed office. 

   Coach Jennings sat on the edge of her chair with her brow furrowed and twisting a pen nervously in her hand. Rey didn’t want to assume, but something about the woman’s body language made her anxious. 

 

   “So...I got a call from the head of the Rec department and...they’ve recommended some budget cuts. So they want me to cut some members of the team.”

 

   Rey blankly stared. She’d heard correctly but was trying to logically understand it. Team members didn’t get cut due to budget constraints. Did her coach really think she was that stupid to believe such an excuse?

 

   “And since you’re newer to the team it didn’t seem fair to cut the more experienced members -”

   “How many?” Rey asked.

   Mrs. Jennings paused and looked up at her. “Pardon?”

   “How many team members need to be cut?”

 

   Rey watched as the woman bit her lip and looked back down at the pen. 

 

   “You don’t need to lie to me, Mrs. Jennings. I know this is about yesterday. That’s why I’m being cut, isn’t it?”

 

   The woman nodded before looking up. She looked as though she wanted to apologize. As if this wasn’t her call but was being made too. But Rey didn’t much care. The fact was, this was someone who’d praised her for her skill and was excited to have her on the team, only to now cast her aside because someone else thought poorly of her. Rey closed her eyes and slowly counted to three then walked out of the room. 

 

_    It wasn’t much fun anyways _ , she told herself.

 

~

 

   Luke found himself staring at his typewriter, his mind swirling with things to say but his fingers unable to type them. He’d been trying to write up his talking points about what he’d learned on his trip out of town but all he could think of was Ben’s angry words. 

 

_    I do care. It is my job to care. What does Ben think I do with my time? I spend it enriching the lives of those I love and care for! Unlike him! He’s off acting selfish and setting a poor example to the youths around him. I don’t understand it. I am trying. Lord, you know I’ve been trying! But clearly I need help.  _

 

   Luke let his hands fall in his lap and leaned back against his chair. The front door creaked open then banged closed. He listened as Ben pulled open then closed the fridge, then stomped up the steps. Luke gave a quiet sigh. There was once a time when Ben would come find him to let him know he was home; to share his day over dinner. But those days had been few and short lived.

   He’d never wanted any children of his own. Had never felt the need to take a wife. But when his sister had asked for his help in raising her and his friend’s child, he had agreed without hesitation. He’d been worried about the boy and had been foolish enough to think he could do a better job. Now, it seemed, he had failed. 

   Luke groaned as he stood from his chair and made his way to the kitchen, where he kept the old corded telephone. He hadn’t asked for Leia to intervene before, but he was going to ask now.  

 

~

 

   Rey rolled the tire over to Chewie and watched as he removed the lug nuts from the hub cap. 

 

   “‘Budget cuts’. Can you believe that?” Rey asked indignantly.”I just wonder who told her to drop me. The Principal? A parent? Another student? ...I just don’t get it Chewie. I’m trying to fit in but everyone seems to hate me! Well, everyone except you and Rose and Finn and Poe. ...And Ben.”

 

   Chewie rubbed at his lower back as he straightened then turned to face her. “People are just set in their ways here, Rey. Not that that makes their actions justified, but at least it gives some context. I’ve always thought of the figureheads of this town like sheep. Always doing what other people do and putting too much value in someone else’s opinion. Take Luke for example. He’s a well respected member of the community,  and anything he says is usually taken and made into law. All just because no one wants to bother thinking for themselves. Now...I love Luke. He’s a dear friend. But since Han’s death he’s purposely used that advantage; to change things for what he thinks is better.” He pauses long enough to take the tire off the car and roll it over to her. “But even I think he needs to take a step back and reevaluate things a bit.” 

 

   Rey sat and thought about his words. If there was ever to be change it would first need to start with Ben’s uncle. Rey wasn’t exactly encouraged by that. Luke seemed like a hard nut to crack. 

 

   “You know,” Chewie chuckled horsley, “there was this one time when Han was in town visiting and, as a prank, he placed pictures of Playboy pinups in some of Luke’s hymnals. It was an absolute riot!”

 

   Rey grinned at the mental picture but it faded as another thought popped into her head. 

 

   “Chewie? Was it Luke who suggested a ban on dancing?”

   Chewie frowned. “I believe it was, yeah. That and drinking. Did it as a way to keep others from sharing Han’s fate.”

 

   Rey chewed her lip and made a mental note of that comment. 

 

   “Well what if I talked him into letting us have a dance at the church? He’s said in his sermons it’s a gateway to other sinful acts. Would having it at the church be a way to… I don’t know, show that it isn’t?”

   Chewie looked at her for a moment then scratched at his bushy eyebrow. “I don’t know. But I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask.” He chuckled again. “Not sure any of the kids around here remember how to dance though. You might have to teach ‘em. ...Han used to take Leia across the state line to Maz’s place. Back then we’d sneak a few beers and tear up that  dance hall of hers.”

 

   Maz’s place. Rey would have to look it up when she got home. Maybe going out to dance wasn’t a bad idea.


	16. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update took so long. Kids schedules went from zero to sixty. The piles of laundry became sentient and attacked me. A teething baby is an unhappy baby. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you find the ending banter as fun as I did. Thanks for reading!

   Luke looked out over the long put together tables that had been nicely decorated for his visit. The women’s club at the senior center had invited him over for a light brunch and had requested he say a few words. Luke cleared his throat and willed himself to give all the gathered a smile. 

 

   “I’d like to thank you all for inviting me over here today. It is a blessing to be able to come and share in fellowship with you. I thought I would share with you all a realization I had during my recent trip to Salt Lake. Being away like that, away from our blessed town, it reminds me of how lucky I am. ...Of how lucky we are. People from all over attended but...I was asked by one gentleman how I was able to stand living in such an isolated town. He was from a larger city, see, and then it dawned on me. I told him, I love it. ...I love living in this town because everyone I love is the same. Everyone loves and cares for one another. Supports each other! ...And that...that makes me feel close to the Lord. Makes me feel close to my people. And I feel like…” 

 

   He lets his gaze glide over every woman present. All of them seeming to hang on his every word.  _ Yes _ , he thinks,  _ these are my people. My flock.  _

 

   “...that they may also feel close to me.”

 

   Some of the women nod their heads. Some whisper an agreement. Luke genuinely smiles. 

 

   “The Lord smiles down on Jedha. And he certainly smiles down on us. ...Now let us join in prayer so that we may enjoy this delicious meal God has blessed us with!”

 

~

 

   Maz’s Bar and Dance Hall was almost two hours away, near Grand Mesa National Park in Colorado. Rey wasn’t sure how she’d get her friends there without raising suspicion but since Chewie had said Maz was an old flame and a long time friend of Han’s, and that she’d let them enter despite their age, Rey figured it was worth at least bringing the idea up with Rose and Finn. Maybe Ben even; assuming he could get past Luke. 

 

   But first, the idea of a dance.

  
  
  
  


   Rey sat her tray down and took the seat next to Ben. He glanced over at her for a second but then looked back at the food in front of him; a slight smile tugging at his lips. Rey didn’t have to look up at Finn or Rose to see that they were a bit thrown by this sudden change in seating. And if Poe noticed, which Rey was sure he did, he acted as though nothing was different. Armie however did not seem to enjoy the new arrangement one bit, and scowled even more than normal.

 

   “So,” Rey began. “I was thinking we should try and get the Senior class to band together and ask for a Senior Prom.”

 

   She looked up to find everyone had stopped eating and were now staring at her. 

 

   “Uh, Rey, have you forgotten the whole No Dance thing?” Finn asked. 

   Rey shook her head. “No. But I feel like the kids in this town deserves a chance. To prove that dancing can be...just dancing! Kids having a good time in a safe environment! Isn’t that, like, an American right of passage or something?”

 

   Ben gave one quick chuckle while Armie scoffed. 

 

   “Well I think it’s a great idea,” Poe said, lifting up his Coke can in a toast. “This town could use some livening up.” He gestured to Rose. “Rose here is a Saint. She deserves a Prom.” 

 

   Rose blushed. 

 

   “And I’d love to watch Finn break out his secret dance moves.” 

 

   Finn took on the look Rey imagined a deer had before being hit by a car. Rose giggled and squeezed Finn’s arm.  

 

   “It’s not going to happen,” Armie stated in a snooty tone. “The Council will never approve. Much less Luke-”

   “Screw Luke,” Ben snapped. He sat up straighter. “Rey has a point. They can’t stop all of us.”

   Poe slapped the table. “That settles it. We’ll spread the word. Rose?”

   Rose lifted her phone to show everyone. “I’m already on it!”

 

   Finn looked at her as if she’d just bashed in a mailbox. When he looked back over to her, Rey gave him a reassuring grin. 

 

   “What’s to lose, Finn? The worst they can do is tell us no.”

 

~

 

   Ben’s phone buzzed on the surface of his desk. He glanced over and unlocked the screen to find a text from Rey. 

 

_ How do you feel about going to a dance hall with me? _

 

   He blinked in confusion.

 

_ Well, me plus Rose and Finn.    _

_ I’d invite Poe but I don’t think all of you would fit in my car. _

_ Plus he’d kind of be the odd man out. _

_ So...what do you think? _

 

   Ben didn’t know of any dance halls near by. And he wasn’t too thrilled by the thought of being squished into that tiny Volkswagen of hers. But he did like the idea of seeing Rey dance again. Of holding her close against him. Of her sliding down him like she did that chain last week. 

   At that thought he could feel his skin grow warmer. Yeah, he’d suffer sitting in her car with others around for that chance. 

 

**_Sure_ **

_ YAY! _

**_Where’d you find a dance hall?_ **

_ It’s actually in Colorado. _

**?**

_ I know. It’s two hours away. _

  
  


   “Two hours?” That was four hours trapped in a sardine can with two people he tolerated and one he wanted all to himself. 

 

_ If you don’t want to or can’t, I understand _

_ Finn isn’t really interested but Rose is forcing him. _

_ I’m actually surprised they were allowed out so late.  _

_ I was thinking of going this Saturday.  _

_ Figured we could leave once it gets dark. _

  
  


   Ben sighed and ruffled his hair. Luke was having the Council members over for dinner and a meeting that night. He could probably take dinner to his room and sneak out the window. Somehow. But time with Rey and possibly having actual fun seemed worth the trouble. 

 

**_I’ll come_ **

**_Park near the stop sign at the end of the street._ **

**_Luke will have company_ **

**_Don’t want to risk your car being seen._ **

  
  


~

 

   That morning Luke informed him that Leia would be coming back in to visit for the next couple of days. Ben silently nodded and went about his day doing what few chores he was assigned. For the most part he was able to keep to himself, Luke once again holed up in his study and Ben either out tinkering on his Jeep or locked up in his room, drawing, reading, or throwing darts at his door. 

   As the sun finally began to set and the commotion of guests could be heard downstairs, Ben wandered into the kitchen to find a plate of fish and a bowl of salad set aside for him with a glass of milk already poured. He huffed at the sight. He preferred to put together his own food but deep down he had to admit it was nice. Luke showing in his own way that he still cared. Ben hoped he could sneak out and back in without Luke knowing. He wasn’t about to start acting like the well trained dog Luke wanted him to be, but he also didn’t want to see the disappointment in Luke’s eyes yet again.

 

   A raised voice of frustration sounded from the living room, causing Ben to creep towards the wall and eavesdrop.

 

   “It’s spreading like wildfire!” someone complained.

   “You said so yourself, it’s just a rumor. The kids know the law,” Luke calmly replied.

   “I bet it was that new girl. What’s her name?” another man asked.

 

   Ben bristled but forced himself to stay where he was. 

 

   “Rey Bliss.”

   “Yeah. Luke, I’ve seen her at Sunday service. Maybe you could talk to her?”

 

   There was a pause before Luke finally answered.

 

   “I don’t really see a need. I can mention something in the sermon but I we don’t have any proof that it’s her. And again, the law is the law. They can request a dance all they like but unless we change the law they are not allowed one.”

 

   Ben swallowed but took that as is cue to head back upstairs. 

  
  


   Once he got Rey’s text he quickly locked his door, lifted his window, and climbed onto the lower roof. This wasn’t the first time he’d attempted this. The first time he’d jumped right off and nearly broke his leg. This time however he was smart enough to lean the ladder against the side, allowing him to climb down.  On the ground he quickly stashed away the ladder and gave a quick glance around before jogging down the street towards the bright round headlights off in the distance. 

  
  
  


   Rey flashed him her pretty smile as he crumpled himself into the passenger seat. 

 

   “Christ, Rey. We look like clowns stuffed in a clown car,” he complained.

   As she made the u-turn she laughed. “Glad you could make it. You ready to see what dancing is really like?”

 

   Rose cheered from behind his seat, while a groan could be heard behind Rey’s. 

 

   “Oh hush,” Rose chide. “At least you have leg room. Now that Sasquatch is riding shotgun mine are so squished I might not be able to dance.”

 

   Ben tried to turn around as much as he could and glared at the girl.

 

   “Keep teasing Tico, and I’ll push this seat back as far as it will go and lean back for a nap.”

 

   She frowned. Finn pointed at him and opened his mouth, most likely to scold him, but Rey cut in before he could say anything.

 

   “Children, let’s play nicely. We’re here to have fun, remember? Ben? Behave. I will turn this car around.” 

 

   She glanced over at him, her slender eyebrow raised in warning. He flashed her a grin and watched as she pressed her lips together and fought, unsuccessfully, not to smile. 

 

   “Behaving isn’t really my M.O. but for you, I’ll make an exception,” he teased. Then he leaned in close to her. “Unless you like it when I misbehave.”

 

   Her mouth gaped open as she looked at him in shock; right as both Finn and Rose groaned in disgust. Ben gave a hearty laugh as Rey gave him a light smack on the arm.  

 

   “Gross,” Finn stated.

   “Keep it in your pants you two,” Rose added.

 

   Ben pulled the lever that controlled the back of his seat and reclined it as far as it would go, effectively squishing Rose and causing her to squeal. Finn was cussing him out but he barely noticed. Rey was trying to scold him through her laughter but stopped once he sat his seat upright again. 

 

   “Rose, are you okay?” she asked, stifling her laugh. 

   “Why did we invite him instead of Poe?” 

 

   Ben was curious to hear Rey’s reply but instead she just looked over at him and shook her head.

 

   “You are a hand full!”

   He gave her a wide grin and chuckled to himself. “Just say the word and I’ll take my clothes off so you can find out.”

 

   A chorus of “Oh my God!” and “What the hell?” filled the car. Ben hadn’t laughed this hard in forever. 

 

   “I regret ever getting in this car,” Finn muttered.


	17. Maz's Place

   When Rey had said dance hall he’d pictured some run-down bar. But Maz’s Place was not at all what he’d expected. It looked more like a two-story stone and log cabin that sat just off the road. Even more surprising was just how crowded the parking lot was. 

 

   “So what should we expect?” Ben asked as he stretched out of the car. “Old people attempting to line dancing? Or, let me guess, this is secretly a Rave scene and we’re gonna get swept away in a sea of jumping bodies.”

   Rey laughed. “Um, no. It is the typical hoedown, square dance kind of thing during the week but on Saturdays, Maz changes it up with different themed decades!”

   “Oh!” Rose exclaimed. “Is it Fifties night?”

   “Nope!” Rey grinned. She pushed opened the door and the sound of synth-pop washed over them. “Eighties night!”

 

_ “The politics of dancing _

_ The politics of, ooh, feeling good _

_ The politics of moving, aha _

_ If this message's understood” _

 

   Rose cheered and grabbed onto Rey’s arm as the two bopped their way inside. Ben looked around as he followed. Tables surrounded the outskirts of the crowded dance floor, with the upper level providing more seating. The flicker of purple and blue lights clashed with the stuffed hanging animals and various colors of the neon beer signs hanging along the walls. 

  
  


   Rey shuffled over to an open table and waved he and Finn over. 

 

   “Do you want to head out onto the floor or grab drinks?”

   “I can get drinks!” Finn quickly answered. 

   “But I want to dance!” Rose protested.

   Ben frowned. “Man, you look nowhere near old enough to even try a fake ID.”

   “Who cares!” Rey yelled.

 

   The music slowly ended, making it easier to hear her.

 

   “We’re here to dance. Not get drunk. I’m sure they’ll give you Seltzer water or something. Rose you can dance with me and Ben till Finn gets back.”

 

   The next song began blasting through the speakers. Rey let out a cheer and grabbed Ben’s hand and pulled him towards the dancing crowd.  

 

_ “Let's dance _

_ Put on your red shoes and dance the blues” _

 

   Rose and Finn watched the two for a moment before Rose turned and swatted him in the arm. 

 

   “Ow! What?” Finn asked, rubbing his arm.

   “You’re supposed to dance with me!”

 

   He could tell she was pissed. But he wasn’t about to make a fool of himself out there. 

 

   “My...my feet hurt.”

   Rose crossed her arms. “Seriously? You’ve been sitting for the last two hours.”

   “Look, uh, my throat is really dry. I’m gonna go get something to drink. Maybe later?”

 

   Rose just shook her head and stormed towards Rey. Finn’s shoulders slouched as he headed towards the bar. 

  
  


~

  
  


_ “If you say run _

_ I'll run with you _

_ And if you say hide _

_ We'll hide _

_ Because my love for you _

_ Would break my heart in two _

_ If you should fall into my arms _

_ And tremble like a flower” _

 

   Ben had no idea how to dance but it seemed like he wasn’t doing any worse than the other guys around. Besides, Rey was making it easy. Holding onto his hand she would pull herself into him then push back out; have him twirl her, then curl into him and sway back and forth.

   As she broke apart from him he caught sight of Rose shuffling from one foot to the next, heading their way. He glanced at the table; Finn nowhere to be seen. Rey grabbed the girl’s hand and twisted her way back towards him. He was surprised she was able to somehow dance with both of them, but Ben didn’t mind. Rey was all smiles and giggles and he was just enjoying watching her.

 

~

 

   A small wrinkled old woman looked up at him as he approached the bar.

 

   “What can I get for you young man?” the woman asked, adjusting her overly large glasses that magnified her eyes so much it was comical. 

 

   Finn leaned onto the bar and looked at the bottles of liquor on display.    

 

   “Don’t bother asking for any of that. It’s quite obvious you’re too young for it.” 

   Finn sighed through his nose and frowned. “Well, what do you have for me?”

   The woman hummed in amusement. “Water. Juices. I have some Sprite in the back.”

   Finn dug out his wallet and flopped it onto the counter. “Four Sprites please. ...And nachos, if you’ve got them.”

   “Sure thing, dearie,” the woman smiled.

  
  


~

 

_ “ _ _ We were so in vies _

_ In our dance hall days _

_ We were cool on cries _

_ When all you and everyone we knew _

_ Could believe, do, and share in what was true” _

 

   Finn waved Rose over, pointing to the drinks then sat and watched as she weaved her way to him. 

 

   “Thanks.” 

   “You’re welcome. I ordered nachos too, in case you or Rey wanted any.”

   Rose took the seat next to his and snorted. “I’m pretty sure food is the last thing on either of their minds.” 

 

~

 

_ “Dance hall days love _

_ Dance hall days _

_ Dance hall days love” _

  
  


   Rey snapped her fingers with each sway of her hips as she made her way back toward Ben. 

 

_ “Take your baby by the wrist” _

 

   He grabbed her hand and pulled her into him, causing her to laugh, and led her arms around his neck. 

 

_ “And in her mouth an amethyst _

_ And in her eyes two sapphires blue” _

 

   His smile still held but Rey caught his glance at her mouth before looking back into her eyes. Maybe it was the flickering of the lights that made his look so dark. 

_ “And you need her and she needs you” _

 

   Her fingers tightened around his neck, her toes lifting slightly.

 

_ “And you need her and she needs you” _

 

    But then she loosened her grip and raised her arm slightly to roll underneath it and press her back against him.

 

“And you need her and she needs you”

 

   Rey felt his arms wrap back around her middle and the tip of his nose graze the shell of her ear. 

 

_ “And you need her and she needs you” _

 

   Closing her eyes, Rey leaned into him; his breath warming the nape of her neck. The contact was making her head spin. 

 

_ “And you need her and she needs you” _

 

   Grabbing his hands, she slipped her way out of his hold and pulled him threw the crowd towards their table.

 

   She needed that drink now. 

  
  


~

 

   Rey decided she’d sit out “Like A Prayer” in favor of sampling the nachos, yet couldn’t stop herself from singing with her mouth full. But she was eager to get back on the floor. Since Rose had excused herself to the Lady’s Room and Ben went to get refills, she took the opportunity to scoot next to Finn.

 

   “Hey,” she yelled into Finn’s ear. “How come you’re not dancing with Rose?”

   “I...I can’t dance.”

   She blinked. “So?”

   “I mean...like, not at all. I don’t know how.”

   Rey scrunched her face and couldn’t help but laugh. “Finn, it’s not like we’re doing complicated moves out there. We’re just moving however we feel like.”

   He frowned and shook his head. “I told ya I didn’t want to come. Rose wants me to dance but I can’t, okay! I’m not going out there and making a fool of myself.” 

 

   Rey rolled her eyes but sat back in her seat as Ben walked up carrying a pitcher of Sprite. As Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself” started Rose pounced onto Finn’s shoulders. 

 

   “Dance with me?”

 

   Finn shook his head to decline. Rey hated to see Rose so crushed. 

 

   “Come on, Rose,” Rey shouted. “You and I will dance this one!”

 

   Rose eagerly followed her onto the floor where they began jumping up and down along with everyone else, pumping their fists as they went. 

 

~

 

   Ben smiled as he watched Rey and her friend enjoy themselves. She’d let her hair down and was thrashing it from side to side. Reaching over for a chip, he looked over at Finn who was stabbing at an ice cube.  

 

   “So why come if you're not gonna dance with your girl?”

   “She said I had too.”

 

   Ben huffed a small laugh.

 

   “And Rey begged,” Finn added.

 

   He slowed his chewing, wondering why Rey might do so. 

 

   “I figured being the third wheel would give me an excuse not to dance,” Finn explained. “But then she said she was inviting you and I was kind of stuck.”

 

   Ben didn’t say anything, choosing instead to just finish his bite and get back to watching Rey.  

 

   “She hasn’t said anything but, is there something going on between you two?” Finn asked cautiously. “All of a sudden she’s sitting next to you at lunch and now she invites you to hang out with us.”

   A small flare of defensive anger ran through Ben’s chest. “And does that bother you?”

   He watched as the boy gave him a judgmental look before going back to poking at his ice. “...Rey’s a good friend. I’m just looking out for her.”

 

   He was debating whether or not to start an argument when movement caught his eye. Rey and Rose, out of breath but all smiles, walked up to the table.

 

   “I’m pretty sure my lungs have died,” Rose laughed.

   Rey laughed along with her. “Then take a timeout with Finn.”

 

    As the song ended the lights shifted to white and red as the disco ball began to spin. The opening bass and drum beat to “Just Like Heaven” blasted over the speakers. 

 

   “Yes!” Rey cheered. 

 

   Ben felt her grab his hand and attempt to yank him from his seat. 

 

   “I love this song! Dance with me?”  

 

_ “Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick _

_ The one that makes me scream she said” _

 

   Ben rose from his seat and allowed her to pull him back out onto the floor, chuckling at her eagerness. 

 

_ “The one that makes me laugh she said _

_ Threw her arms around my neck _

_ Show me how you do it and I'll promise you _

_ I'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you” _

 

   Flecks of white and twinkling silver swirled around as Rey twirled. Ben quickly picked her up and held her up towards the sparkling ball.

 

_ “Spinning on that dizzy edge _

_ Kissed her face and kissed her head _

_ Dreamed of all the different ways, I had to make her glow” _

 

   Instantly her legs curved to be close to his body as he spun her. As he lowered her she curled toward him, looping her arms around his neck.

 

_ “Why are you so far away she said _

_ Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you? _

_ That I'm in love with you?” _

 

   He held her close, watching the red lighting sweep over her as they swayed into the darker lighting. 

 

_ “You, soft and only, you lost and lonely _

_ You, strange as angels _

_ Dancing in the deepest oceans” _

 

   “Hi!”

 

   They both looked over to see Rose dance past, grinning from ear to ear, as some random older guy danced along with her. Rey slowed her sway and slid her hands down his chest as she watched Rose. She looked back up at him with a questioning look, to which he just shrugged. 

 

_ “Twisting in the water _

_ You're just like a dream _

_ You're just like a dream” _

 

   Rey smiled at him and pressed her cheek against his chest. Ben closed his eyes and lowered his head to kiss her hair but felt her quickly pull away. When he opened his eyes she was looking off towards the edge of the floor. 

   He could barely hear her curse under her breath before moving away from him and towards an angry-looking Finn, who was stomping his way towards their direction. Ben had no idea what he’d done to piss the guy off so much but as he opened his mouth to yell Finn barreled right past him and towards the guy he’d seen dancing with Rose. Ben glanced over at Rey and saw her look of worry. 

 

~

 

   Finn was seeing red. He got why Rose wanted to go out and dance with Rey. Hell, he hadn’t minded when she was dancing along with both her and Ben. But it had hurt to see her head on to the floor and dance right past the pair. And then some shifty-looking guy just sauntered up to her and started dancing with her. And Rose didn’t seem to mind at all. He’d tried to take deep breaths; to calm down and not pay any mind, but that was the third time the guy had tried to place his hands on Rose. Finn couldn’t stand for it any longer. 

 

   He didn’t even see Rey as he walked past. All he saw was this old guy dancing with his girlfriend. He marched right up to him and shoved his shoulder. The man stopped and looked over at him.

 

   “Finn?” Rose asked in surprise. But Finn ignored her.

   “Hey, why don’t you go dance with someone your age.”

 

   Rose was saying something to him but he was too focused on the slimy grin this guy was giving him. He was clearly drunk or high or maybe both; irking Finn even more that Rose didn’t seem to mind him as a dance partner. The guy flicked his fingers as if to shew him away. 

 

   “Wa-wa-why don’t yous go back to your ta-ta-table. Hm? Little ladys tryna have f-fun.”

   Finn puffed out his chest. Rose stood between him and Rey was suddenly behind him, asking him to come back to the table. Finn knew he should probably back down but as he went to step back the guy laughed at him. Finn reached out to shove the guy, nudging his arm, but now Ben was pulling him back. Rose stepped off to the side, saying that they should go when all of a sudden Finn saw a fist fly right into his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured: "Politics Of Dancing" by Reflex, "Dance Hall Days" by Wang Chung, "Let's Dance" by David Bowie, "Like A Prayer" by Madonna, "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol, and "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure. 
> 
> Yes, DJ was the guy who was trying to dance with Rose.


	18. Common Denominator

   “Hope my parents don’t notice.” 

 

   Rey looked in the rearview mirror to see Finn tenderly touching the bridge of his nose. 

 

   “You sure it’s not broken?”

   “I’m sure,” Rose assured him. “Though, you’re lucky it isn’t. I still can’t believe you did that.”

   “Yeah, well,” he grumbled.

  
  


   After Finn had gotten punched in the face their fun came to a full stop. Those who were dancing around them quickly came to their aid, holding back the man and allowing them time to drag Finn off the dance floor. A short older woman with glasses, who based off of Chewie’s description had to be Maz, showed up to assess the situation. She’d been quick to have the offender thrown out at the first sight of him, but she’d also asked that they leave as well. 

 

   Rey sighed at the memory of it. At least Maz had asked politely.

 

   The drive back had stayed mostly quiet, due to them either having to make a quick exit or just the fact that it was well near midnight and they were tired. Ben had joked a bit, mostly at Finn’s expense, but even he had grown silent after a while. With the radio off and the road noise lulling her to sleep, Rey sat up and sighed loudly. 

 

   “Am I still dropping you off at Poe’s, Finn?”

   “Yeah. He already knows we’ll be late.”

 

   Rey nodded. Her headlights flashed against the speed limit sign as they neared the bridge that lead into Jedha. Seeing as there was no one else on the road and the weather was clear she maintained her speed.

 

   “Slow down,” Ben said, his voice low but hard; a polite order. 

 

   Rey glanced over at him questioningly but slowed to the recommended speed. They were halfway across the bridge when she heard Finn let out a breath.

 

   “This bridge gives me the creeps,” he mumbled.

   “What? Why,” she asked. 

   “Cause of that accident a couple of years back.”

   “Accident?”

   “Yeah. What was it? Three people, that died?”

 

   Ben shifted in his seat; his hand now gripping his leg. Rey furrowed her brow.

 

   “That’s when the council started changing things.”

   “Oh yeah,” Rose chimed in, “I remember that.”

   Rey scrunched her nose. “You mean the bans? But why would-”

   “So it wouldn’t happen again,” Ben broke in. There was a heavy silence. “My dad was one of the three.” 

 

   At that Rey looked over at him.

 

   “He was drunk. Had gotten into an argument with mom and was on his way to see me. ...These two high school kids were driving around after some party they’d been to; a dance, it was said.” He paused again. “They were both crossing the bridge and ended up crashing into each other. ...The kid’s vehicle was in the river and dad’s… Dad’s was twisted around the barrier.”

   “Shit,” Rey breathed. She thought back to him standing in front of the train, saying something about headlights. “You saw it. His car.”

   Ben nodded, then after a moment gave a bitter laugh. “Luke had a field day. He’d been trying for years to get dad to quit drinking. And he was always going on about how ‘Today's youth are being led astray by drugs, sex, and alcohol. That television and music were gateways to a less moral way of life’. So when dad died he saw that as his opportunity to change things. ...To save everybody from themselves.” 

~

 

   Ben was the last to be dropped off and, since it was close to one in the morning, he was glad to see all the lights were off. Hopefully, the ladder was still where he’d left it. 

   “Hey,” Rey whispered. “You gonna be okay?”

   “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

   She gave a small shrug. “I didn’t know about the bridge. If I’d known I would have taken a different-”

   “Rey, it’s fine. You didn’t know and there’s no other road you could have taken. We live in the middle of nowhere, remember?” He got a slight smile from that truth. 

 

   Her hand moved toward his but was quickly drawn back. Ben tried to not let his disappointment show. 

 

   “At least you knew him,” she said solemnly. “I never knew my real dad. Or my mom.”

   He furrowed his brow. “What?”

   “And my adoptive dad, he left Zorri and me a few years after my adoption.”

   “Shit, Rey. I...I didn’t know you were adopted.”

 

   She messes with the air vent, adjusting it until it’s right back to where it was. She’s uncomfortable, he realizes. Now he feels slightly guilty about all the times he’s complained about his family to her. 

 

   “It’s not something I typically share with people.”

 

   He should feel bad about the warmth that statement gives him; about the fact she chose to share a secret with him. That in some twisted way, abandonment is their common denominator. But he doesn’t. 

   She looks over at him then and gives him a weak smile. And Ben can’t help but think how even with exhaustion and melancholy evident, she still offers comfort, either to him or herself or both. Sure, Rey is physically beautiful, he stares any chance he gets, but it is this part of her that he truly loves. 

 

   “Thanks for inviting me.” 

   She looks over at him and bites back a genuine smile. “You’re welcome.”

   “Finn made it pretty clear Poe was supposed to accompany you instead.”

   Rey scoffs and shakes her head; humored. “Poe’s a lot of fun.” Ben’s heart sinks slightly. “But I felt that you might appreciate the trip more.”

 

   Again, Rey reveals her thoughtful kindness. 

 

   “I did.” He wishes she’d say something about wanting to be with him. “And your friends aren’t too terrible to hang out with,” he jokes.

   Rey gives him a playful shove as he opens the door. “Get out,” she laughs, “And get some sleep!”

 

   Ben shuts her door but peeks through the open window. He hates when his laugh lines show, but he can’t seem to stop the shit-eating grin he can feel spreading across his face. 

 

   “I’m pretty sure there’s a monster under my bed. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. You should come up and check for me. Maybe tuck me in-” 

   “Nice try, Solo,” she grins. “See you tomorrow.”

 

   He steps away and raises his hand in farewell.


	19. Leia's Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see things from Leia's perspective this time around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: if reading about a brief moment of physical abuse (a slap) from a parental figure makes you uncomfortable then you can skip the part near the end where Ben walks back into the kitchen the dinner scene.

   Leia takes a deep breath as she waits for Luke to open the door. She feels silly, feeling nervous. But she is. It had been a while since she’s seen Ben. And their last visit, well, ended like it always did. Him ignoring her and her leaving with a heavy sense of guilt and regret.

 

   The door creaks open and Luke greets her with a kind smile before ushering her out of the chilly morning air and into the warmth of his home. Without a word he takes her coat then leads her to the kitchen. 

   Leia lets her eyes look over the rooms as she follows. The fact that they are siblings still amazes her. She is driven, confident, outspoken, and her home is large, elegantly furnished, and depressingly empty. Luke, however, seems to just follow whatever path lays before him. He usually has an air of calm acceptance and is typically soft-spoken, save for when his sermons rile him up. His home is simple, minimal, and lived in, one might say. 

 

_    But I suppose being home and having a child live with you would make it feel like that,  _ she muses. 

 

   That thought settles into her heart. If she hadn’t sent Ben away, if she and Han hadn’t drifted apart, would her house feel this way? Inviting and lived in? Maybe she’s just reading too much into random pieces of old, worn furniture. Still…

  
  


   She sits at the little round table and watches as Luke prepares her a cup of coffee, then moves it towards her and takes the seat next to her. 

 

   “So I take it things aren’t going well,” she asks.

   Luke huffs a small laugh and takes a sip. “It’s nice to see you too.”

   Leia rolls her eyes. “Luke, you always know I enjoy seeing you. By now I shouldn’t even half to say it.”

   He gives her a weary smile. “It’s still nice to hear.”

 

   They both sit quietly, enjoying each other’s company, but Leia doesn’t think she can let this last. Luke had requested she visit, but there is another reason she’s here. One she herself hasn’t quite accepted yet. 

 

   “So, I finally went to the doctor,” she begins. Luke’s mug hangs midway to his mouth. “...Turns out I have heart disease.”

 

   Slowly, Luke lowers his mug and looks at her with sorrow.

 

   “Oh, don’t look at me like that,” she scolded, waving her hand. “At least now you can say, I told you so, for all those times you told me to quit smoking.”

   He shakes his head sadly and places his hand on her wrist. “I would have preferred being wrong.”

 

   Leia can feel the tears pricking at her eyes, but she sure as hell isn’t going to sit here and cry about it some more. Quickly she takes another sip and clears her throat. 

 

   “I haven’t decided whether or not to tell Ben. Based on what you said over the phone, now may not be the best time.”

   Luke sighs and stares at his coffee. “I just don’t know if I can help him, Leia. We fight...a lot. At least in the past, he would make an effort to hear me out. Now, he just shuts me out.”

   “Sounds like he’s just being a teenager,” she chuckles. 

   He hums a disgruntled agreement then takes another sip. “He’s not lashing out like he used to, but he’s bottling it up. ...It just makes me worry. Dad was that way.”

 

   Leia tries not to think about Anakin.  If she had her way, she would have all the memories of him scrubbed from her brain. And she’s never quite figured out why Luke seems to care so much about the man. 

  
  


   The sound of creaking steps grabs her attention and she sees Ben coming down the stairs. It isn’t until he passes the entryway that he notices her, freezing in place with a dirty plate and glass in his hand. He looks tired, she notes, as if he’s not sleeping well.

 

   “Good morning, Ben.”

   “Morning,” he replies flatly.

 

   He looks between her and Luke then slowly moves towards the sink to deposit his dishes. 

 

   “Would you like to join your mother and me for breakfast before we head out,” Luke asks.

 

   They watch as Ben grabs a bowl from one cabinet and a box of cereal out of another. 

 

_    He’s gotten so tall,  _ Leia thinks to herself.  _ If only you could see him, Han. He’s no longer that skinny little boy who’d trip over his shoes trying to keep up with you.  _

 

   “Not really,” Ben answers.

 

   Leia isn’t surprised one bit. She glances over to Luke and sees his disappointment morph into irritation. 

 

   “Ben, your mother just-”

   “It’s alright,” she says over her brother. Ben turns to look at them over his shoulder. “But I haven’t attended Service in a while. Would it be alright if I sat with my son?” She holds her breath, unsure of his answer.

 

   Ben looks away from them and places the milk back into the fridge. Then he pulls a spoon from the drawer and places it into the bowl. 

 

   “I guess.”

 

   Then he grabs his bowl and heads back up the stairs. Leia supposes she should be thankful for at least that small victory. She looks back over to Luke and finds him frowning. Once Ben’s out of sight, Luke waves his hand towards where her son had been and raises his eyebrows as if to say, See!

   Leia lets out a small sigh and tries to ignore the increasing tightness in her shoulders. 

  
  
  


~

  
  


   “Senator.”

   “Armitage,” Leia says with a stiff nod.

   The boy sits back down next to Ben and angrily whispers, “You didn’t tell me your mother was coming!”

 

   Ben gives him an irritated shrug. As Leia goes to sit another familiar voice purrs her name. 

 

   “Be still my beating heart! Doth my eyes spy none other than that of my lady, Leia Organa-Solo? Beloved mother to my dearest friend? Come this fine day to bless us with her presence?” 

   “Shut up, Dameron!” Ben snaps.

   Leia can’t help but laugh. “Nice to see you too, Poe.”

 

   The boy sits next to her, grinning from ear to ear.  It had been at least three years since Leia had seen him last. The Damerons had been good family friends for years, so it was nice to see he was still putting up with Ben.

  
  


~

 

   Leia is trying to pay attention to what Luke is saying, but Ben’s movements keep distracting her. She’s already quietly scolded him for fidgeting. Now he keeps looking back every couple of minutes. From the corner of her eye, she can see his facial features shift from questioning to an amused smile. 

   Leia subtly looks to the other side of the church, scanning for someone who might be doing the same. Just a few rows behind them she spots a young woman looking right next to her, making similar faces. Their eyes suddenly meet and the girl quickly looks away. Leia takes a moment to observe her before turning and glancing back over at Ben. He drags his eyes away and over to her and gives her a look she’s unsure of how to decipher, then looks back down at his feet. 

   She sits a moment, once again trying to listen to Luke, but the action she just witnessed sparks her own brand of mischief. Leia leans over to Poe, who in turn leans closer to listen. 

 

   “Who’s the young woman Ben keeps looking at?”

 

   She watches as Poe peeks over at Ben then glances back to the brown-haired girl. He turns then and gives her a conspirator's grin. 

 

   “That’s Rey. His all-consuming crush. I can introduce you if you like?”

 

   Leia doesn't reply, but nods, sharing his grin.

  
  


~

  
  


   “Ben, can you please stop texting at the table?” Luke asks. His voice heavy with exasperation. 

 

   Leia looks over to see Ben glaring at his uncle while his fingers finish out his message. Then he places the phone down and resumes stabbing his food.

   Typically she just eats in her office, rather than eating alone at home, but right now Leia would trade a lonely night at home to being stuck in this tension-filled kitchen. Ever since Ben saw she was talking to Rey he’d become even more prickly. Which made Luke grouchy. Which set her on edge. It was like family dinner all those years ago with Han and Ben. And of what little she could remember, of being around her father. 

 

   “I hope you’re not giving Poe a hard time for introducing me to Rey.”

 

   Now his glare is directed at her. 

 

   “I rather enjoyed talking to her.” Then she lets a long pause settle as she chews. “And that she works for Chewie?”

   “I wasn’t aware of that,” Luke says, with a frown.

   “Really, Luke, you don’t need to know everything.”

   “Can we please not talk about her right now?” Ben asks.

   Leia tries her best not to smile. “I’m just happy to see you met someone who has-”

   “Mom! Please!”

   “Ben, don’t raise your voice.”

 

   The room grows silent again. 

 

   “So what all did you do last night? Poe said Rey took you-”

   “Please. Stop. Talking,” her son grits out between clenched teeth.

   “Ben!” Luke warns. 

 

   Then he sits up stiffly in his chair. He looks contemplative before finally raising his eyes to pin Ben to his seat. Unease grows in Leia’s chest.

 

   “Did you go somewhere last night?”

 

   Anger and fear flash in Ben’s eyes as he looks from his uncle to his mother then back again.

 

   “No.”

   “...Why do you feel the need to lie to me, Ben?”

 

   Leia sees it then. That anger inside her son that rises up and burns any and all in its path. The thing she feared and Han didn’t know how to control. 

 

   “Why do you feel the need to constantly monitor me? I’m not some convict on house arrest!”

   “No, but I am concerned about your wellbeing. I-”

   “Then how come you don’t seem concerned about me when I am here? Neither one of you!”

 

   Ben stands angrily, causing the chair to fall backward.

 

   “Enough of this outburst,” Luke scolds, getting to his own feet as Ben stomps away.

 

   Leia also stands but only to hold Luke in place, giving her son time to make it out of the room. Luke looks over at her. 

 

   “Just leave it. It seems you’ll only make him worse.”

 

   Luke seems stung, and Leia regrets instantly how she’d worded that. Her brother draws back slowly, gathering their dishes and heads to the sink.

 

   “If I’m only making him worse then why is he even here, Leia? Hm? You asked me to raise your son-”

   “I asked you to help my-”

   “-And yet when I confide in you and ask for your help all you do is take his side! He must learn respect and take responsibility for his actions!”

 

   Ben strides in then, heading towards the table without looking at either of them. His keys jingle in his hand as he grabs his phone.

 

   “A lot of good that will do. Don’t bother mom. He doesn’t listen to anybo-”

 

-SLAP-

 

   The sound hits her before her brain can register what she saw with what she heard. Luke had just slapped her son. 

 

   “Luke!” she gasps in disbelief.

 

   Her brother seems stunned and looks at his hand as if it is not his own. Her son is clearly shocked. Surprise and fear momentary overtaking his anger. He’s holding his cheek now and looking over at her. Leia opens her mouth to say something but he turns and retreats out of the house. 

 

   “What did you do?”

 

   He looks up at her, uncertain as to what he should do or say. But Leia doesn’t have time for this. Quickly she makes her way out of the kitchen and out the open door. 

 

   “Ben?”

 

   She sees him scrambling into his Jeep that she’d bought him for his birthday two years past. 

 

   “Ben? Please! Wait!”

 

   But he’s not even looking at her. He revs the engine, drowning out her plea, then recklessly reverses out onto the street and drives away. 

 

~

  
  


   She finds Luke sitting in his tattered old chair, looking miserable in his bubble of self-pity. She stands there, arms crossed, and rubs and the sudden throb of a headache.

 

   “I’ve never...I’ve never hit anyone in my entire life. ...Not once. ...I don’t know what came over me.”

 

   Leia stares at him for a moment then sighs as she takes a seat next to him. 

 

   “I’ve lost him. Do you see? I didn’t...I tried…”

   “Luke,” she says as she takes his hands. “You are a good man. And good people make mistakes. ...And what just happened, well, that was a mistake. But, I’ve made them too. ...I see that now.”

   “I’m so sorry, Leia.”

   “I know you are. It was obvious the second you realized what you did.”

   “I just...I don't know how to get through to him.”

 

   Leia pauses. She never did either. And Han had been even more clueless. But there had been times when it had just been her and Ben, and he would once again be that sweet child she adored.

 

   “You’re a wonderful preacher, Luke.” He looks up at her then. “But you’ve always had a way with a crowd that you didn’t have with just an individual. Maybe, that’s the problem. We are looking at him as to who he could be. An outward perspective.” She laughs a little. “I’m actually not sure what I’m trying to say. But, I think we might have made it worse by not seeing him for who he is.”

 

   Luke just looks over her face then gives her a small nod.

 

   “Maybe...we should start by trusting him.” 


	20. Kindness and Care

   “There is some interest, but mostly people are just scared.”

   “Scared to ask for a dance?”

 

   Rey hadn’t had the chance to talk to Rose about the texts she had sent out, but it seemed she’d had the same luck Poe had said he’d had. Some Seniors wanted a dance and were willing to ask but most were uncertain and too afraid. Rey didn’t get it. It wasn’t like asking was going to get them struck by lightning.

 

   “Well, maybe we just need to keep bringing it up. You think fliers would help?”

   Rose shrugs. “Maybe. Maybe having it put out there in the open would get people talking and spread an interest?”

   “Sure. Maybe we can get together one night and come up with something.”

   “Okay. See you in Shop.”

 

   A loud clanging sound draws their attention down the line of lockers. They watch as Ben Solo kicks at his locker, causing some of the students to scurry away. Even from her locker, she can see the purple under his eyes. 

 

   “Good luck with that,” Rose said as she quickly walks away.

 

   Rey shoots her friend a questioning look but decides to see what the issue is. 

  
  


   His bookbag isn’t draped over his shoulder like normal. His usual beautiful mane is now a disheveled mess. And...is that the same outfit he had on yesterday?  

 

   “Ben?”

   “What,” he mumbles; his face pressed against the locker.

   Rey shifts uncomfortably. “I...well, I’d ask if you’re okay but I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that.”

   He slowly turns his head to look down at her through his hair. “How observant of you.”

   She frowns, her anger sparking. “Excuse you. ...I came over here concerned about you. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but you don’t have to be rude to me.

   He watches her for a moment then turns back to stare at the floor. “Sorry.”

 

   Rey swallows down the rest of her scolding remarks. They won’t help in this situation. 

 

   “What classes do you have this morning?”

   “Civics, Chemistry, Trig, Art.” He looks over at her again. “Why?”

 

   Without saying a word, Rey grabs his wrist and pulls him over to her locker. Quickly, she grabs her textbooks.

 

   “Rey-”

   “I have English, Civics, Chemistry, then Shop. Switch me my books as you leave the room.”

   “Rey, I don’t need your-”

   She stops to fix him with a stare. “Just accept the help, Solo. We have an open book quiz in Civics today. You’ll need the book.”

 

    She shoves the textbook and a notebook and pen into his chest. His arms hold them in place. 

 

   “I have to work this afternoon, and I can’t stay out very late, but if you want to talk then I can either meet you somewhere or you can swing by once my shift is over,” she says hastily as she zips closed her satchel. She looks up at him and finds he’s just standing there, staring at her. She sighs through her nose in frustration. “Or not. Whichever.” She hoists the bag over her head then looks him over once more. He really does look like a hot mess. “Good luck on the test.” Then she steps past him and tries to push Ben Solo out of her thoughts.    

 

~

 

   He probably could have passed the test without the book, but it was nice to have it all the same. And he did as she’d asked. He stood outside the room till she arrived and they would switch books; without saying a single word.

   Rey still sat beside him at lunch, but she also didn’t speak to him. Ben didn’t know how he wanted to feel. He was grateful she’d helped him but he just couldn’t bring himself to say so. He wanted her to talk to him but she was probably just giving him space. ...Or, he’d just pissed her off so badly that she wanted nothing to do with him. 

 

   When he finally climbed back into his Jeep he realized he was still carrying around her notebook and pen. 

 

_I should probably give this back. She might need it._

 

~

 

   Rey tries once more to scrub the smug of grease off of her forearm and groans. “Why isn’t this coming off?”

   Chewie chuckles as he locks the door that leads out into the shop. “After a while, I just quit trying.”

   Rey grins after him. “Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure your blood is mostly engine oil by now.”

 

   He lets out a hearty laugh then heads over to close the blinds. Rey turns the sink off then walks out into the room and notices him staring outside. 

 

   “Something wrong?”

   “Hmm. Looks like you might have a visitor.”

 

   Rey steps beside him and looks into the dying light of the evening. Parked next to her yellow Beatle is a black Wrangler she instantly knows. 

   Waring emotions tug inside her chest. She’s still mad about this morning; how he couldn’t even bring himself to say thank you or anything. But she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t glad to see him. Maybe he’d finally be willing to tell her what was wrong. 

 

   “That’s twice now he’s come to the shop,” Chewie says. Then his tone shifts. “I wonder why.”

 

   Rey looks up to find the old man giving her a playful questioning look. She rolls her eyes and turns to gather her things from the office. 

  
  
  


   It’s odd to see doors and a roof attached to his vehicle. The first time he’d gotten out and talked to her. This time he’s just sitting inside with the passenger door pushed open slightly. 

 

   “I take it you want me to come in?”

   “I figured you’d prefer a heated seat over standing in the cold.”

 

   It was getting chillier out now that the holidays were fast approaching. And it dawns on her that she’s never actually sat in a seat that would instantly become warm. 

 

   “Are you going to kidnap me?” she deadpans. 

 

   He gives her an unamused look but holds up a To-Go box of food. Her empty stomach clenches at the sight.

 

   “Alright. You convinced me.”

  
  


   The instant she sits she melts into the seat. “Oh my God.” She’s so delighted she doesn’t even mind the smug look on his stupid, handsome face. “God, this is…”

   “Here,” he says, handing her the box.

   She takes it, peeks inside, then bites her lip. “Is this...vegetarian?”

   “I noticed a while back you don’t eat meat. So I assumed...”

 

   Rey isn’t sure what she should say. The fact that he knows what she eats, even without ever being told, seems significant. Like he cares. Enough so to even remember and make an effort. 

 

   “Thanks,” she whispers, afraid that if she speaks any louder her words might get stuck in her throat and give away just how moved she really is.

 

   He’s silent for a moment as she starts to eat, then says, “I figured you’d be hungry.” She looks over at him. “And...I wanted to give you your stuff back.” 

 

   He points towards the floorboard. At her feet sits the notebook and pen she’d given him earlier. 

 

   “Thanks, but, you could have kept it. ...I assumed you must have forgotten your bookbag or something.” 

 

   Even in the Jeep’s darkened interior, Rey can see his scowl. She stabs at the food and continues to eat. She hasn’t known him for that long, but she already knows Ben won’t talk until he’s ready. And she’s almost a third of the way through her food when he finally does.   

 

   “I didn’t have my bag because...I slept at the railyard.”

   Rey stops eating and sits upright. “What? Why? ...What happened?”

   He shrugs. “...Luke and I...there was a disagreement. ...Mom once again didn’t come to my defense. So I walked out. Didn’t go back.”

 

   She’s not sure what to make of it, or what to say.

 

   “That...must have been pretty bad.” 

 

   He glances over at her for a second then looks at the steering wheel, nodding absently. 

 

   “Why didn’t you just go to Poe’s? Or Armie’s?”

   He scoffs, “Poe was pissed at me because I gave him shit over introducing my mother to you. And Armie’s a prick.”

   Rey can feel her irritation from earlier return. “Okay, one, why do you even hang out with Armie if you don’t like him? And, two, what’s wrong with me meeting your mother? I rather liked her! A lot!”

   “Of course you did,” he sneers, “Everyone does.”

 

   How dare him. Rey closes the container and pops open the door. 

 

   “He hit me, Rey.”

 

   She pauses then turns to look at him. He’s looking at her now, his dark eyes pleading. 

 

   “Luke didn’t know I went out with you Saturday. Mom, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut and was asking about us; what we did. Luke lost it and slapped me across the face. And Mom just stood there and did nothing. Not a damn thing. And the only reason she was in town,” he yells, “is because Luke is tired of dealing with me! Thinks the woman who dumped me there in the first place can magically make everything better. Because that want she does. She makes shit better...for everyone else but me!” 

 

   Rey has no idea what to do. Because he’s sitting there, his large frame that takes up to much space is heaving with emotion. She does feel for him. She was dumped somewhere with someone else, for a reason she doesn’t know.

   She decides to shut the door and stay. They aren’t speaking, but her mind is trying to place the actions with the people she’s met. Leia seemed sweet, motherly, and just as witty as her son. And Luke. He may be a bit stiff, but he doesn’t come off as someone who would do such a thing. 

 

   “Do you hate your parents? Your real parents?”

 

   His question startles her. Does she? There had been a time were she’d worried they had gotten lost or just forgot. Adults seemed to forget things all the time. Sad, lost, concerned. She remembers those feelings. But hatred?

 

   “...Not really.”

   “Why,” he asks gently. 

   She picks at her nails for a moment then shrugs. “I don’t know. It hurt at first, but life demanded I move on. So, after a while, I stopped caring. ...No child wants to be rejected or forgotten...but maybe they did it from a place of kindness. To give me a chance at something better.”

   “Is that what you truly believe,” he asks. His tone implying he doesn’t believe a word of it. 

   “Well, putting an optimistic spin on it and forging ahead is better than wallowing in self-pity and lashing out at everyone around you!” He looks away from her and frowns.  “No one wants to adopt a child who acts like that.”

 

 _Okay, maybe I took that a little too far_ , she thinks, as she watches Ben shrink in on himself.

 

   “I take it you hate yours then?”

   “...No,” he answers quietly.

 

   Rey hadn’t expected that answer. She hates how this conversation is going. Plus, it’s getting late.

 

   “Look,” she says with a sigh. “I need to get back home and I still need to wash this grease off. I’m sorry to hear about what happened-”

   “I don’t want your pity, Rey.”

   “Then what do you want, Ben?”

 

   She watches as he looks her over then holds her gaze.

 

   “I want...for you to understand me. To know the real me.” 

 

   His mouth moves as if he wants to says something else but he bites it back. Rey’s heart aches at just how pitiful he sounds. 

 

   “I do understand you. ...I understand that you're lonely. That you feel unloved. That you think people hate you. But, Ben, that’s not the case at all. Yes, it sucks your parents sent you to Luke. But at least they sent you to someone they felt they could trust. They didn’t do that because they feared you, they did that because they feared for you. There’s a difference! And you said so yourself that Han died on his way to see YOU. ...Your mother still comes to visit. And she genuinely seemed happy to hear how we all get along; that you seem to be doing well. And, if Luke didn’t care about you, then I get the feeling he would have kicked you out a long time ago!” She stops to take a breath and lower her voice. “...Chewie asks about you. Poe clearly cares enough to put up with your bullshit. I…” She studders. 

   “You what,” he quickly asks. 

   She holds her breath then slowly breathes, “I’ve made it pretty clear that I care about you.”

 

   He flexes his jaw and lets out a quiet shuttering breath. Slowly, Rey nudges his forearm with the tip of her finger and extends her hand, palm up. He looks down at it then back up to her, moving his hand across the space between them and gently laces his fingers between hers. 

 

   “Go home, Ben. I bet you’ll find your still welcome.” She rubs her thumb against what little of his skin she can then pulls away. “Keep the pen and notebook. They were for you.”

 

   Then she climbs out of the Jeep and gets into her car.  

  


~

  


   He couldn’t get her words out of his head. He hadn’t wanted to believe her at first, but as he drove the truth of it began to take hold. 

   Maybe Rey is right. Poe really does put up with a lot of his shit. And yet he always had his back. Since cutting Barriss out of his life he had felt lighter; not dreading every second of every day. Han had loved him, that he did know. And, even though he didn’t want to accept it, he knew deep down Leia loved him too. And had Luke been anyone else he probably would have kicked him to the curb. 

 

   Pulling into the driveway, Ben takes a deep breath and prays that he's still welcome. 

 

   To his surprise the door is unlocked; something Luke would never allow. Opening the door, he peeks inside then quietly closes the door. The only light comes from Luke’s office. He debates whether or not to look in but decides against it.

   As he makes his way up the steps a creak caused him to turn and look below. At the foot of the steps stands Luke, looking disheveled and exhausted. 

 

   “You, um, left the door unlocked.”

   His uncle nods slowly. “I left it...incase you came back. ...I was worried.”

 

   Ben swallows, unsure of what to say. So he chooses to say nothing and makes his way to the bathroom. 


	21. Progress

   Rey slides the flyer across the counter so the girl can look it over. 

 

   “It does sound fun,” she says reluctantly. “But, I’m not really interested in some drunken party.”

   “No no no!” Rey assures. “No drinking or college party type stuff. Just a dance. Just us having fun together as a class listening to music and dancing to it. That’s it.”

 

   Her classmate looks down at the flyer again.

 

   “Will you at least think about posting it? All I’m trying to do right now is just get people to consider it. Once I feel like there’s enough interest I plan on talking to the Council about it.”

   “Really?”

 

   The girl sounds surprised. And a little excited. At this point, Rey will take it. So she nods. 

 

   “Okay, sure! I’ll post it. At least, until my boss tells me to take it down.”

 

   Rey gives the girl an understanding smile. “I no worries. I just appreciate it. Thanks, Kasey!”

 

~

 

   Barriss steps a little close to better eavesdrop as Rey assures the cashier that her stupid little party isn’t actually a party. She rolls her eyes. It irritates her that the girl actually seems interested. 

   Barriss doesn’t get it. What is it about this new girl that has people suddenly caring?  She’s not overly popular, she’s not overly pretty, her friends are total nerds... Yet the moment Rey showed up the world just kind of shifted its balance.  Hell, even Jessica and Tallie are starting to talk to her. 

 

   As she watches Rey exit the store, a sudden fire of anger burns through her. How dare she easily get what she wants! Barriss shoves the soda bottle back into the cooler and hurries out the door. 

  
  


   “Hey,” she yells. Rey turns and visibly tenses upon seeing her.  _ Good. _ “You know your stupid little plea isn’t going to work, right? The Council will take one look at you and kick you out the door.”

   “There’s no harm in asking. And I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to throw me out.”

   “You sure about that? Word is a lot of people can’t stand you. Or your mom. Might as well just give up or get out.”

 

   Rey takes a restrained step forward. Barriss takes a few more. 

 

   “Look, I don’t know what your problem with me is but, for your sake, I suggest you leave my mother out of this,” Rey warns. 

   Barris tries to suppress a smirk. “Why? Gonna cry to your daddy about it? ...Oh, that’s right. You don’t have one.” 

 

   A car is pulling up near them but Barriss doesn’t move. Not when she’s obviously pissed Rey off. All the better to have someone watch Rey fly off the handle; get her in even more trouble.

 

   “Shut up!” Rey snarls.

   “Poor little Rey. Got kicked out of her country, kicked out by her daddy, almost kicked out of school. Sooner or later, when Kylo’s done with you, he’ll kick you to the-”

   Rey roars as she lunges toward her, only to be stopped by her loser friend. Poe steps between theme, shoving her a little. 

 

   “Shut the hell up, Offee.”

   Barriss swats his hand. “Out of my face, Dameron!”

   Instead, he gets right in her face. “Whatever shit you’re trying to start, drop it.” He looks over her head. “Everybody in that store is watching you. And honestly, if they weren’t, I’d have sat in my car and watched as Rey kick your ass. And you’re lucky Finn was riding with me.”

 

   Barriss swallows. She gets the implication. If Kylo had been with him instead... Kylo is a pushover, so long as he’s not truly angry. 

   Poe raises his eyebrows, questioning her. Behind she can hear a bell ding as someone comes out. She takes one last look at Rey and finds Finn still holding onto her. She still has tears in her eyes but she doesn’t look like she’s going to run at her anymore. Giving Poe one last glare, Barriss turns and heads off towards her mother’s borrowed car.  

 

~

 

   “Not smart, Bliss,” Poe scolds.

   Rey shrugs Finn’s hands off of her and sniffs as she wipes at her eyes. “I’m aware!” 

 

   She can feel Finn rubbing circles on her back as Poe pats her on the arm. After a moment she offers a weak smile. 

 

   “You going to be alright?

   She nods. “Yeah. I just…” taking a deep breath, she sighs, “I need to get going. Thanks, by the way.”

   “Don’t worry about it, Rey,” Finn says, giving her a tight hug. “I’m just glad we showed up when we did.”

   “Yeah,” she laughs, “Me too.” She pulls away and turns to leave but calls, “Poe? Could you not tell Ben what happened? Please?”

   He nods. “That’s probably a good idea.” Then he pretends to zip his lips closed.

  
  


~

 

   As Rey grabs her book, Ben’s black-clad frame leans into view next to her locker. 

 

   “So I actually saw your flyer posted up in the convenience store the other day.”

   “Yeah?” She smiles, glad to know that Kasey had actually followed through. “That’s great! ...I hadn’t been back to see.” She tries not to think about Barriss. Or her words. 

   “Do you think it’ll work?”

   She glances up and him and shrugs. “I don’t know. I hope so. I figured I’d give it till around January and then see how people feel. Maybe ask the Council then.”

 

   He nods then looks at his boots. He’s been looking better, she thinks to herself as she looks him over. 

 

   Carefully, Rey asks, “So how are things at home?”

 

   Ben just looks at her for a second before letting a small smile pull at the corner of his mouth.

 

   “Better, I guess. We’re talking again.”

   “That’s progress!” 

   “...Apparently mom had a long talk with Luke about...it...after it happened. He’s been less critical about things and hasn’t made it to where I’m having to sneak out whenever I want to go somewhere.”

   “I’m glad it’s working out.” 

 

   And she genuinely means it. And he must know it too because the way he’s looking at her makes her feel as if he’s wrapping a warm scarf around her. The kind that’s soft and warm...and smells like him. And again, that sudden urge to kiss him hits her. No, not kiss, taste. She’s kissed boys before; quick pecks that left her feeling indifferent. But it’s a bizarre thing to want to taste someone, isn't it? When her brain screams at her to take a breath, Rey yanks her eyes away from him and shuts her locker door.

 

   “I’ll be out of town during Thanksgiving break,” he says, causing her heart to sink at the news. “Mom asked that we come up and visit her this time around.”

   Rey’s not sure the reassuring smile she gives is for him or for herself. “Yeah? ...That’s good.”

   His eyebrows furrow ever so slightly as he cocks his head to the side and studies her. “Sounds like you don’t really mean that, though.”

    “No, I do! I just..I don’t really like the holidays for...reasons. And I’ll miss you. But I am-”

   His toothy grin spreads across his face. “You’ll miss me?”

_    Damn his smug tone.  _ “Well...yeah. I mean-”

 

   The blaring beep of the late bell sounds and panic sets into her. 

 

   “Shit!” she yells and moves past Ben to run toward her class. 

  
  


~

 

   Ben winces against the light out his window then looks down at his sketch of the setting sun. It’s another beautiful sunset. He changes out one colored pencil for another. It’s not as pretty as the first sunset he’d seen at Arches. Luke had taken him camping out that way to observe the Milky Way and as they left the park they stopped to watch the sunset. It’s one of the few good memories Ben has of his time with his uncle. 

   A thought pops into his head and he wonders if Rey has been to the park yet. Maybe she’d like to watch it. Surely a sunset out in the barren West must be different than one in a northern city. On impulse, Ben grabs his phone to ask her.

 

~

 

   He and Luke sit at opposite ends of the table now, but at least they’ve gotten back to eating in the same room. And they usually do so in silence. So it startles him a bit when Luke clears his throat. 

 

   “So, your birthday is coming up.”

 

   Ben feels a cold streak of nervous uncertainty course through him. Luke doesn’t really ask about his birthday or what he wants, he just gives him a card with a check and wishes him a good day. Ben looks up to meet his uncle’s blue eyes. He’s turning eighteen this year. Is Luke finally going to kick him out?

 

   The man chuckles, “Eighteen on the eighteenth.”

 

   Ben would find it slightly humorous, but…

 

   “Is there anything special you wanted to do?”

   Ben thinks for a moment. “Not really.”

 

   Luke nods, then goes back to eating his food. Ben waits, to see if his uncle says anymore. But it doesn’t appear there's anything else. As Ben begins to eat again Rey’s reply snakes it’s way into his mind.

    Ben mulls over the idea of asking. A couple of weeks ago he wouldn’t have even bothered. He would have just suck out and done it. But they are trying to do things differently now. So he supposes he’ll try.

 

   “Actually...I was thinking of taking Rey to Arches. Let her see the sunset like you did that one time with me. She hasn’t been to any of the National Parks around here yet.”

   Luke is just staring at him. Flashes of curiosity and uncertainty cross his uncle’s face. Ben’s about to tell him to forget it when Luke says, “Hmm. I remember that night. It’s too late in the year to see the Milky Way though.”

   Ben can feel his adam's apple bob as he swallows. “I know. Still, I thought she might appreciate the view. Living in the city, she never really got to see a proper sunset... as God intended,” he adds.

   His uncle hums in thought once more. “That’s very kind of you.” 

 

   He sounds skeptical, Ben thinks. As if he’s a little suspicious. But they are being civil and if he’s going to get his wish he needs it to stay that way.

   Finally, Luke begins to eat again. “Your birthday is on a school night.”

   “We could go during the weekend.”

   Luke nods. “Make sure her mother is fine with the idea. And don’t be out too late.”

 

   And that’s the end of it. Ben quietly sighs and is left feeling baffled. But in a good way.

 

   “Thank you,” he says quickly. 

 

   It’s words he rarely says. But he should say it. Rey would be disappointed if he didn’t. 

 

   Luke looks up at him in surprise. “You’re welcome,” he says softly. 


	22. Emotions

   “So, got any special plans for Monday night?” Poe asks, elbowing Ben. “Or do I need to throw you some secret party?”

   Rey looks over at the two of them. “What’s Monday?”

   “His birthday.”

 

_    Oh. _ Rey bites the inside of her cheek. She hadn’t known that. And she has no clue what to get him. 

 

   “Honestly, I don’t really want anything. I’m good,” Ben says. But Rey catches the moment his eyes flit to hers.

   “You sure?” Armie sneers. “You’re not going to ask your mommy for a brand new Jeep? Or yet another leather jacket? ...Didn’t she offer to pay for pilot training courses?”

 

   Rey raises her eyebrows in surprise. She’s not even sure her brain can fathom such a thing. But Ben just glares at the red-head.

 

   “Really?” Poe says with excitement. “I’m gonna be taking those classes too! Granted, I’m still saving up, but...”

 

   Without acknowledging a word Poe has said, Ben tilts his chair back and folds his arms across his wide chest. Rey tries her best not to notice the way his shirt strains.

 

   “Why are you even still sitting with us?” he asks. The whole table suddenly falls silent. “I didn’t ask for those gifts, asshole, my mother just gave them to me. ...If it bothers you so badly then why the hell do you even hang around? Hoping to get my scraps? Is that it?” 

 

   Armie’s pale completion goes even whiter, save for the small blush of embarrassment on his cheeks. 

 

   Ben nods to Armie’s tray and points towards the other end of the room. “Take your tray and get the fuck out of my face. Now.” 

 

   Armie stands, back straight and head held high. “One day, Kylo, someone will knock you down. And I’ll be there to watch.” Then he grabs his tray and leaves. 

 

   Rey swallows. She didn’t exactly like Armie, but hearing him dismissed like that brings back old memories she’d rather keep buried. 

 

   “Now who am I going to pick on?” Poe jokes, attempting to lighten the mood.

   “Well,” Finn pipes up, “At least I don’t have to sit next to him anymore.”

 

   Rey frowns and begins placing her trash back into her bag. She gets the feeling Ben is looking at her but she keeps her eyes down; her head swimming with cruel words from old schoolmates and of Barris’s taunt. 

_    “Sooner or later, when Kylo’s done with you, he’ll kick you to the-” _

 

   Without saying a word, Rey gathers her things and heads for the bathroom.  __

  
  


~

 

   “Rey!”

 

   Her pace slows slightly at the sound of his voice. She’s not sure she has it in her at the moment to talk to him. Only a few more steps and she can be inside her car.

 

   “Rey!”

 

   She stops and takes a moment to breathe as his shadow comes up behind her. At first, he says nothing, but his shadow moves to stand next to her and Rey watches as their shadows mesh together to become one.

 

   “Rey?” 

 

   His tone is gentle. Gentle like the side of him he only shows to her. She should find that a problem, but a part of her likes that she’s allowed to see it. 

 

   “Rose said it sounded like you were crying.”

   Rey swallows and tries to rain in her dueling emotions. “You could have been a little nicer to him.”

   “To who? Armie? That’s why you were crying?” His tone has some bite to it now.

   Rey looks right at him and stands tall. “You didn’t have to be such an arse about it.” Ben opens his mouth but she presses on. “I get why you did it but hearing it still hurt. Being told to leave. The others saying they were happy he was gone.” She pauses to swallow the forming lump in her throat. “I’ve had that happen to me a number of times.” His mouth instantly shuts. “It sucks! ...And how long have you known him, Ben? Was it really so easy for you to just cast him aside? Even if he is rude... Would you do that to Poe? To me?”

 

   Rey watches as his face twitches with warring emotions; his grip tightening on the strap of his bag. 

 

   “You were the one who asked why I even hung out with him if I didn’t like him. Well, now I’ve done something about it.”

   Rey leans in. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

 

   He holders her gaze; neither one of them wanting to back down. But then his shoulders slump ever so slightly.

   “No.”

   “No what?”

   “No, I wouldn't do that to you!”

   “But you would to Poe?”

   Ben growls in frustration and ruffles his hair out of his face. “I’ve known Poe since I was born. His family and mine are good friends. Mom and dad loved him so much he might as well have been my brother! So no, Rey, I would not cast him aside! And you! ...I don’t think I could send you away even if I wanted to!”

   “So you want me gone?” Rey turns but is yanked back by his hand.      

   “That’s not what I said!” 

 

    His hand is still holding her wrist but only barely, and he stoops so as to look her in the eye. He’d sounded angry but all she sees is fear in his eyes.

 

   “Please, Rey. I...I enjoy having you around. You’re the one person I actually want to spend time with. And I’m sorry if what was said hurt you but none of it was ever meant for you. ...And whoever was dumb enough to do such a thing to you in the past was an idiot.” 

 

   Rey hadn’t even felt the tear fall. Wasn’t even aware of it until Ben’s thumb swipes across her cheek and leaves a damp smear in its wake. 

 

   “He wasn’t wrong though,” he says quietly. “My parents may not have had the time to give me their love and attention but if it was an item with a price tag, I usually got it.” He stands to his full height once more, releasing her wrist. “Luke never asks what I want though. But last night he did. ...I told him the one thing I wanted was to be allowed to take you down to Arches and watch the sunset with you.”

 

   Rey blinks back the moisture clinging to her lashes, unsure of what she’s actually being told. 

 

   “My plan was actually to swing by once you were home from work and ask.”

 

   A small “Oh” is all she can manage.  _ Oh. That explains why he asked about the park. _

 

   He must take her silence as a rejection because he takes a step back and nods so as to hide a look of hurt. 

 

   “That’s all you asked for?” she asks softly, still unsure as to why he would ask for such a thing. He apparently could have whatever he wants. So why her? 

   “It’s all I wanted.”

   Rey’s thoughts swirl but she tries to focus on just giving him an answer. “Well...I work Monday.”

   “Sunday afternoon? I pick you up at three? ...If that’s okay with your mom?”

   Rey takes a deep breath. “That would work.”

   Ben chews at the inside of his cheek. “Are you sure? You’re not obligated to go if you don’t want to.”

   Rey takes a moment to think it over. “No, I want to. It sounds nice.” 

 

   She gives him a small smile as a way to let him know she does like the idea. Returning her smile, Ben steps toward her and lets her lean against him.

 

   “Thank you,” he softly whispers in her ear.       
  


 

~

 

   Luke takes a moment between handshakes to look over at Ben and finds him grinning from ear to ear as he talks to Rey Bliss. He’s not sure how to feel about it, but it does give him some sense of relief to see his nephew so happy. It’s a look he hasn’t worn in years. 

 

   Terry and his family come up to give their greetings and thanks, but it's Zorri who he’s eager to speak with. 

 

   “Mrs. Bliss, glad to see you today. I was told you were feeling a little under the weather earlier this week.”

   “Oh, yes. Just a twenty-four-hour bug or something. I’m much better now, thank you.”

   Luke nods. “Is Rey excited for her trip with my nephew?” It’s his way of fishing to make sure Ben had actually asked.

   Zorri chuckles. “Oh yes. She was a bit of a nervous mess, but she’s excited. It threw me a bit when your nephew showed up to ask if they could go. But, you know, Rey may have been less than thrilled about moving but I’m glad to see she’s made some real friends here. She’s never been one to open up to people, so it’s a big change." 

 

   A part of Luke is curious about that statement, but he lets it go, deciding that it’s not his business. 

 

   “Well, I hope you don’t mind her coming home late.”

   “Oh no. I trust Rey. I’ve never really given her a curfew or anything. She’s always been quite responsible. Less trouble than I was at her age!”

 

   The two of them chuckle and Luke lets her pass. He wishes he could say the same for Ben. After two others, Rey stands next in line.

 

   “Miss. Bliss,” Luke says with a curt nod. 

   The young girl gives a subdued smile but says, “I’m glad things are improving between you and Ben.”

   Luke is a little surprised to know she’s aware of their family issues, but he supposes he shouldn’t be. “As am I. We still have a ways to go through. But, God willing, things will continue to do so.”

   She gives him a warm smile and nods. “I think it will. Deep down, I think he wants that too.”

   “You seem to know my nephew fairly well.”

 

   Luke watches as a faint blush appears on the young woman’s cheeks, and he wonders just how well the two of them know each other. He tries his best not to frown at the implication.     

 

   “We just seem to understand each other.”

   “I see.”

   “Well, I suppose I’ll see you next Sunday, Mr. Skywalker. Tell your sister I said hello. And thank you for letting Ben take me on our trip.”

   “Of course. I hope you enjoy the view.”

 

~

 

   “Careful. Watch your footing,” Ben warns as he helps Rey over a protruding boulder.  

 

   She’s not exactly dressed for hiking but she’d insisted that this was the closest thing she had. It’s already cold, but he’s sure she’ll be freezing in that thin hoodie of hers once the sun goes down. He’s surprised though. She’s kept up with him every step of the way. And, if he’s being honest, she hasn’t really needed help. But doing so gives him the excuse to touch her. And she hasn’t protested so far. 

 

   “Almost there. Twisted Doughnut Arch is just right over there. Then we’ll be able to sit near Delicate Arch and watch the sunset.”

   “I’m...surprised... there are so many...people,” she huffs. 

   “It’s a popular place. Even at this time of year. Though, it’d be a lot worse if it were summer. But, maybe in the Spring, we can come back. That’s when you’ll be able to see the Milky Way at night. And I’d love for you to see it.”

   “That sounds lovely. Can you see it in April?”

   “Early in the morning, yeah. Why?”

   “Then maybe you can bring me back for my birthday,” she grins.

 

_    Perfect _ , he thinks.

 

    He likes the idea of her still letting him be around her. Maybe by then, she won’t have them in this weird relationship limbo any longer. She knows how he feels. At least, he thinks she does. And he’s pretty sure she likes him more than a friend. They’ve held hands, like their doing right now, and she’s let him hold her. But she still hasn’t let him kiss her. He’s caught her looking at his mouth on a few occasions. It’s driving him crazy! And the fact that he wants her so bad and hasn’t had sex in two months doesn’t help either. And damn it, even if she suddenly wanted to, in fifteen hours he’ll be old enough to technically get arrested for it. 

 

   Ben audibly groans at the situation.

   “You okay?” Rey asks.

   “Yeah. I...forgot to turn the...air on in my room before I left.”

   “Oh. That sucks.”

   Ben gives a humorless snort. “Yeah. It does.”

  
  
  


   Making their way onto the smoothed sandstone, Ben sweeps his hand out towards the view. Rey’s eyes widen as she takes it all in. He points to a bowled section near Delicate Arch and sits a little away from another couple taking selfies.

 

   A few clouds are out but none that will obstruct the view. At the moment the lowering sun is actually casting them in shades of pink and orange. The mountains in the distance are a pale blue. Rey lifts her hand to shield her eyes as she watches the last brilliant rays of light stretch over the horizon. Yellow now traces the edges of the clouds. Slowly, the sun descends past the mountains and the clouds take on a darkened blue. The clicking of cameras sounds around them but Ben doesn’t really notice. He feels so free in this moment. Free and happy. He glances over to find Rey looking in total awe.

 

   “What’d you think?”

   Without looking away she answers, “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”

   “I have,” he whispers as he watches her. 

 

   He thought it had been low enough to where she wouldn’t hear but she turns and looks at him. He’s hoping for a kiss but instead, she scoots up against him and lays her head on his shoulder. 

 

   “Happy birthday, Ben,” she says softly.

 

   He doesn’t reply, but instead leans into her and places his mouth against her hair; his lips aware of every strand.

 

   They stay this way, even as those around them pack up and leave. He knows this can’t last. They still have to hike back to the Jeep in what little light is left. But he gives himself this moment. Allows himself to enjoy it and, for once, actually feel grateful for what he does have in his life. 


	23. Lessons of Courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi readers! I'd like to apologize for taking a little longer to get this chapter out to you. One of my children is going through some tough mental health struggles at the moment and I've had to spend a lot of my time helping her through it. So I can't promise I can update weekly like I once was. BUT, I still try to make time to write, both for myself and for you all. I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read my work and I hope you're still enjoying it. 
> 
> Also, I have up a chapter count now. I should be done at 31 or 32 chapters. Plus things will heat up between Ben and Rey soon. So stay tuned!

   “Okay, so,” Rey tallies up the names on the lists Poe and Rose had given her. “That’s about two-thirds of the senior class who support the dance.”

   “And don’t forget these guys,” Rose says as she points to the names with stars drawn next to them. “They said they’d even attend the town meeting to show their support.”

   Rey blows out a nervous breath. She’s excited to know she has supporters, but now the fact that she’ll have to face Luke and the other council members is a little daunting.

 

   “Thanks you two. I really appreciate this.”

   “No problem,” Poe grins. “I just can’t wait to see Finn show off his moves.” 

 

   Poe elbows Finn in the ribs and laughs when Finn swats at him. Rose lets out a small humph. All these months later and Rose still hasn’t exactly forgiven Finn for not dancing with her at Maz’s. 

 

~

 

   Ben draws in a deep breath and hikes the strap of his bag higher onto his shoulder. He’s thought about this since Christmas break. Watching Rey commit to speaking with the Council made him realize that asking Mrs. Holdo about rejoining the drama club would be far simpler. Yes, he’s nervous about getting rejected, but if Rey is brave enough then so is he. 

 

   He doesn’t hate Mrs. Holdo, though he’s not sure she’d say the same about him. When he had her for World History last year he saw her as some twig of a woman who he could push over easily. But boy did she prove him wrong. She was tough as steel when she needed to be, and hadn’t even cared about who he was or what was said about him. She’d sent both him and Poe to detention a few times. Poe still has a grudge against her for it, but Ben had let it go. He knew he was being an ass and deserved every hour of it. 

   This year she is his Civics teacher and has taken over the Drama Club from Mrs. D’Acey.  Ben leans into her classroom and sees she’s leaning over her desk, writing something. Ben swallows and softly knocks on her open door. 

  
  


   “Yes?” She looks over at him and slowly places her pen off to the side and sits up straight. “Mr. Solo.” She waves her hand to a desk in front of her. “Take a seat.” As he walks over she asks, “What brings you back to class? Normally you’re eager to leave.”

   He gives her an uncomfortable chuckle. “I, uh, was wondering if you’d allow me to join the Drama club. ...I know the club typically starts gearing up for the Spring play this time of the year.”

   Her sharp blue eyes bore through him. “We do.” Then, silence. Ben shifts uncomfortably under her gaze. Finally, she asks, “What were you hoping to do?”

   “Anything,” Ben quickly blurts out. “Backgrounds, lighting. I mean, I’d like to act. Be an actor.”

   Holdo hums. “As I understand it, that didn’t go well last time you were in the club.” 

 

   Ben can feel his shoulders droop.  _ Fucking D’Acey did tell her. I knew better than to ask.  _ But he refuses to give up that easily. He wants this! Even if that means he has to start at the bottom for once.

 

   “It didn’t,” he concedes. “But I mean it. Even if I don’t get a part in the play, I still want to join. Help out in any role you’ll give me. I’ll even pay for the costumes-”

   “You can’t buy your way into the club, Ben.”

   He laughs. “And I’m not trying to, Mrs. Holdo. But I know the club gets shit-”

   “Language,” she chides.

   “Sorry. ...I know the club has little to work with.”

   She looks away from him and nods. “That is true. But I’m not willing to accept money from a student. It would look bad.” Ben supposes he understands that. “But,” she says, “If your mother or uncle would like to make an anonymous contribution, I would gratefully accept.”

 

_    Okay _ , Ben thinks,  _ that’s something. _ He watches as Holdo picks up her pen and taps it against her papers.

 

   “I’m glad to say you’ve been doing a lot better this year.”

   “Thank you,” though the inflection in his tone makes it sound more like a question. 

   She studies him again then asks, all air of a teacher aside, “I can tell this is important to you.”

   “It is. ….I’ve...been considering Theatre as a future career for a while and...I want to prove myself. ...Even if I’m doing so behind the curtain.”

   Holdo smiles at him; a twinkle in her eye. “Alright, Solo. You can join. We’ll be meeting for an hour in this room on Wednesdays after school. You’ll start small. If you do well with the others then I might,” she emphasizes the word, “might let you have a very small acting part. But we’ll see.”

   Ben grins so wide his face hurts. “Thank you, Mrs. Holdo! I won’t let you down. I mean it.”

   As he gets up to leave she calls, “It’s not about me, Ben. Don’t let yourself down.”

 

   He can’t help but smile, mostly to himself, but nods his thanks and leaves.    

 

~

 

   Finn sends the football spinning into the air again; the ball making a Thump sound as it lands in his hands. Rey watches as she does so but her mind is somewhere else. 

 

   “Rey. Rey?” He whistles. “Earth to Rey! You even listening to me?”

   Rey blinks and looks over at him. “Sorry. What?”

   Her friend gives her an amused smile and leans against the car next to her. “What’s wrong?”

   She sighs, “Honestly? I’m nervous about speaking in front of the Council.”

   “Yeah, I can understand that. But hey, we got your back.”

 

   Rey smiles as he bumps his shoulder into hers. But, slowly, her frown returns.

 

   “It’s just...public speaking isn’t exactly my strong suit.”

 

   Finn hums then makes a tisk sound, then begins to shuffle the ball back and forth between his hands.  

 

   “Yeah, but you’re gonna have to be. That’s the only chance you’ve got at making them listen.” He pauses, then frowns. “Besides, it can’t be any worse than my predicament if you actually manage to convince them.”

 

   Rey lifts her brows in interest. 

 

   Finn lets out a sigh. “Rose said that I better figure out how to dance or else she won’t allow me to be her date.”

   Rey can’t help but laugh a little. “She really tell you that?”

   Finn nods. “It’s not that I don’t want to! Its just...I’m terrible at it, Rey! Rose would end up leaving with broken toes if I tried.”

   Again, she laughs. “Tell you what, Finn. I’ll teach you how to dance. If you do your best, then I’ll do mine to win over the Counsel.”

   Finn’s expressive face instantly brightens. “Yeah? You’d really do that?”

   “Sure, why not?” Rey shrugs.  

 

~

 

   Finn shakes himself out to loosening up like Rey instructs and watches as she holds out her phone; finger hovering over the play button. 

 

   “Okay. We’re going to start out slow. Nod your head and tap your foot to the beat at the same time. Ready?”

 

   Rey doesn’t give him time to answer. The opening strums to Old Town Road begin and already Rey is tapping her foot. Finn panics and quickly starts to tap his foot, slamming it against the floor. 

 

   “No. No, no, stop.” Rey pauses the song. “Like this.” Rey places her foot next to his and begins to tap her foot. 

 

   Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

 

   Finn stares at her foot and, when instructed, taps along with her. It takes a few tries, but he finally syncs up. 

 

   “Good. Good! Okay, now I’m going to play the song again. Just watch my foot.”

 

   She starts the song again. After three tries he finally has it.

 

   “Great! Now, let’s build on that. Let’s put some bounce in it.”

 

~

 

   Finn’s forgotten how many times he’s listened to the song. It’s as if it’s on constant replay in his mind. He hears it in the shower, as he’s trying to sleep, while doing yard work. He meets Rey three times a week at the old warehouse. Each time they add a little more. Bending at the knees, swaying their hips, bouncing on the balls of their feet, waving around their arms, shuffling. But he’s noticed the bounce in his step has stayed with him as he walks down the hall; bopping his head as he sings quietly to himself.

 

   It’s when she feels he’s “graduated” that routine that she bumps it up to Daft Punk. And he’s mortified when he sees that she’s roped Poe into being his dance partner. But Poe’s a good sport about it. He actually seems to be having fun; swaying with ease and being spun around. He just hopes he’s as good a dance partner as Poe is. It’s as if dancing comes second nature to the guy.

 

   Eventually, they move to slow dancing. Rey dances with him at first, showing him where to hold and how to step. Then Poe came back and took her place. Poe joked he’d show up with steel-toe boots if his feet got stepped on one more time, but it never came to that. Finn felt like he was making some progress. 

 

   Kylo - or, Ben - started showing up during their last few sessions. Finn felt a little uncomfortable having him there. For the most part, he’d just sit there and watch. But one night he started making fun of them both. Rey had quickly threatened that if he didn’t shut up then she’d make him leave. The man hadn’t laughed once since. 

 

   By the beginning of February Rey was able to dance with Ben while he danced with Poe. It was a sight, he was sure, but at least he would put it to good use. He just hoped Rose would be pleased.

  
  


   “I’m so proud of you, buddy,” Poe told him, pulling him into a tight hug.

   Finn humphed. “Uh, yeah, thanks, Poe.” With a pat on the back, Poe finally released him. “Appreciate the help.”

   “Absolutely. When Rey asked, I just couldn’t say no! Rey’s good and all but,” he leans in to whisper, “I’m clearly the best dancer in the group. And you deserve to learn from the best.”

   Finn pulls back to give his friend a confused and skeptical look. “Nah, I wouldn’t give you that much credit.” Poe pretends to be wounded. “Besides, if you’re so good, how come you didn’t offer to teach me first?”

   “Didn’t know you needed help,” Poe shrugs. 

   “Uh, huh. You think I’ll do alright with Rose?”

   Poe waves his hand in dismissal. “Please. We all know Rose wears the pants. Just follow her lead and you’ll be fine.”

   “What!”

   “What?”

   “Rose wears the pants?”

   “Sure,” Poe grins. “Rose wears pants all the time.” 

   “Funny. ...So what are you saying?”

   “Oh! Wouldn’t you look at that,” he says, glancing at his watch. “I gotta get home and take BeeBee for his walk. Thanks for the date, Finn. I had a great time.”

 

   Finn can hear Rey and Ben laughing at them but he ignores them both and storms indignantly after Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> "Old Town Road - Remix" by Lil Nas X & Billy Ray Cyrus  
> "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk (feat. Pharrell Williams & Nile Rodgers)  
> "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron


	24. An Exchange Of Gifts

   "But Luke, how can you not feel such an action is necessary?"

 

   Luke tries to tune out the man as he holds the door open for the church's preschool students and quickly follows after, sighing quietly to himself as Frank follows.

 

   "Was it not in your sermon last Sunday that we should weed out the evils in this world? I mean, anyone could walk into the Library and read those inappropriate books! The community is concerned! ...I'm shocked we don't have your support on this." 

 

   After passing a tray of drinks to the teacher, Luke turns to level the Councilman with an exasperated look.

 

   "Frank, I do understand everyone's concern. But storming into the Library and burning their books doesn't seem like the right way to go about this. It seems a bit extreme in my opinion."

 

   He watches as the stunned man fumbles for a rebuttal. 

 

   "It takes little time for corruption to take root. Going to extremes-"

   "And how long does it take for compassion to die, hmm?" 

 

   The two men stare at one another. Luke does applaud the man for wanting to protect the community but, clearly, they have been taking him a bit too literally. A book burning was not something he'd asked for.

 

   "Why don't you go home, Frank. I'll stop by the Library when I can and talk to them."

 

   The man nods but says nothing and heads for the door.

  
  


~

  
  


   “Look,” Rose says as she leans over to show off a beautiful new charm on her bracelet. “Finn gave me this new one as a gift this morning.”

   Rey leans over to get a closer look. “Oh, that is pretty! Nicely done, Finn.”

 

   Ben watches the exchange and chews the inside of his cheek nervously. The gift he’d gotten Rey has been burning a hole in his bookbag for hours now. He doesn’t even know why he bought it for her. It’s not like their dating or anything. But when he saw it, it instantly reminded him of Rey. He admits, Valentine’s Day was probably the worst day to give her something though. What if she didn’t like it? What if she got mad he’d gotten her something? Would she see it as him being pushy?  

 

   “Kaydel gave me Roses,” Poe states. 

   “What?” Finn laughs.

   “Yeah,” Poe grins. “They smelled lovely.”

   “Please tell me you got her something at least,” Rose asks.

   “Of course! I gave her chocolates.”

 

   Rose rolls her eyes. 

 

   “What did Ben get you, Rey?”

 

   Ben’s heart stops. He looks up to see Poe grinning before he looks over to see how Rey reacts. She’s looking at him; her mouth moving yet silent. He can’t read her expression, and God, it’s so frustrating. 

 

   “Oh. He didn’t…we’re not...” She looks away and picks at her bread. “I mean...”

 

_    Is she mad? She looks nervous. But she sounds disappointed. Was she expecting a gift? I could give it to her now. _

 

   “What’s it to you, Dameron?” Ben asks hotly.

   Poe stares at him a moment before shrugging and looking away. “It was just a playful question, man. No need to be offended.”

  
  
  
  


~

  
  


**Can you meet me near the bleachers after school?**

 

   Rey lets out a quiet sigh as she slides her phone back into her satchel and continues to take notes. 

 

   Another buzz.

 

   She waits a few more minutes before attempting to check. She already knows it’s another text from Ben. 

 

_    Ben _ .

 

    She already thinks little of the lovey-dovey holiday, but this Valentine’s Day has been especially awkward. Normally she can tune everyone else out and is fine with telling herself she enjoys being single. But watching how happy Rose and Finn seem together, and with how close she and Ben have become, lying to herself about it is becoming increasingly difficult. 

  
  


   With the teacher distracted, Rey checks her phone again. 

 

**I’m sorry about lunch.**

 

   Her shoulders sag at the memory. She can kind of understand why Ben got angry with Poe. It wasn’t his business after all to ask. But she’s sure Poe meant nothing by it and didn’t deserve to be snapped at. And she’s mad at herself. She’d panicked at trying to come up with a reply. Ben hadn’t gotten her anything and she’d given him no reason to. They’d both been dancing around what exactly they were to each other for months. She supposed it all seemed rather dumb on the outside. 

 

   She’d asked to take it slow and he had. But beyond a few touches and looks and heartfelt talks, she’d made no move to ask for more. And when it seemed like Ben might he held back. It left her feeling both relieved and frustrated.

   Relieved because, if she’s being honest with herself, she’s been scared of truly opening up to someone. Zorri is the only person she’s ever truly trusted. And even then her adoptive mother doesn’t know everything. But while their stories are different, something about Ben’s childhood speaks to her. Something about his struggles clicks with her. Their choices are different but she gets why he does what he does, and he seems to understand her as well. It’s a fact that leaves her both unsettled and complete somehow. 

   And she’s frustrated by the fact that she wants more. Dreams of him crowding her up against her locker and kissing her, of him wrapped around her in bed, whispering words of endearment into her ear and promising to never leave have been happening much more frequently. And the one she’d had that Sunday after Communion, the dream where instead of having to nibble a stale cracker and sip grape juice while mumbling along with Luke like everyone else she’d removed Ben’s shirt and licked up from his pectoral all the way to his earlobe while he hiked up her dress and placed her onto the Offering Table, that one had caused her to awaken so sexually frustrated she couldn’t stand it. It had been all she could think about that day at school. And even now she can still feel herself blush when she looks at the Offering Table every Sunday. 

  
  


   The phone buzzes again.

 

**So, can we meet?**

 

   Rey bites at her lip and subtly types a quick confirmation. 

  
  


~

  
  


   Ben anxiously looks over the box in his hands one more time. Regardless of what happens, he will give it to her. He just hopes she accepts it. Accepts him.

  
  


   "Taken to drug dealing now?"

 

   Ben looks up and instantly bristles at the sight of Barriss walking toward him. Close by he sees Hux standing near his old BMW, watching. 

 

   “No. I’m waiting for someone,” he replies, hoping she’ll leave if she knows someone else is due to show. “Besides, you’ve got that market covered,” he comments. 

 

   She frowns. He knows it’s unwise to provoke her, but he just can’t seem to help it. 

 

   “Since when did you start hanging with Hux?”

   “Since he came to me with an offer for vengeance.”

   Ben can’t help but laugh. “Vengeance? Really? Wow. Okay. That’s... Did Armitage feed you that dialogue?” He shakes his head. “Guess he was willing to take my scrapes after all.”

   “How dare you!”

   “Well, he can have you. Though I doubt he’ll put up with your shit for as long as I did.”

 

   He blinks, and it takes him a second to connect the sting on his cheek with the fact that Barriss just slapped him. Anger rolls through him, and he tries to grip onto whatever slip of decency he has. 

 

   “Touch me again,” he growls, “And I swear I will call the cops.”

 

   It throws him when she lets out a humorless laugh. “What, you're not going to fight back? Little Miss Perfect won’t put out if she knows-”

   “Don’t you dare talk about her!”

   Barriss glances down at his hand. “That for her?”

 

   Before he can answer, Barriss snatches the box and runs. Ben runs after her, yelling as he reaches out and tackles her to the ground. He wrestles the box from her but it drops back to the ground as Barriss rolls and punches him in the throat. Gagging, Ben grabs onto a nearby rock and hurls it towards her. It misses, and instead hits Hux’s car, denting it. 

He can hear Hux curse at him but he focuses only on trying to find the box. As he stumbles over to it something hits him over the head. Glass rains down his hair and small needle pricks bite at his neck. He looks up to lunge at his attacker but searing hot pain spreads across his face. He falls back, gasping, as he tries to blink back tears. Someone starts yelling, and soon after he hears tires spin in place before disappearing. Ben tries to see what’s going on but all he can do is lay there and shout every curse he knows. 

  
  
  


 

   “Oh my God!”

 

   Ben doesn’t have to see her to know Rey has found him. 

 

   “Ben? Holy shit, your face! We’ve got to get you to Hospital! Can you stand?”

 

   He lets her help him up and takes her offered sweater to press it against his injured cheek. 

 

   “Box,” he mumbles.

   “What?”

   “The box!”

 

   There’s a pause, then the zip of his bookbag.

 

   “Got it. Let’s go!”

  
  


~

  
  


   “And there’s your aftercare instructions. I’ve already called your uncle for you. He should be here soon. In the meantime, I’ll just let you stay here until he arrives.”

   “Thanks,” Ben says. “Uh, can my...friend come in?”

   The nurse huffs a laugh. “You mean the young thing pacing a hole into the floor of the lobby? ...Yeah, I’ll let her in.”

   “Thanks.”

  
  


   He sits for a moment, trying to ignore the irritating pull of the stitches, but gets up to look at his reflection. The doctor had said the cut wasn’t as bad as it looked; that the scar should be faint after a couple of months. All he can see now is bandages and the few sections they were able to glue. 

 

   A soft knock sounds at the door and Rey steps through. The tip of her nose and around her eyes red, as if she’d been crying. 

 

   “Hey,” she says, walking over to him while clutching his bookbag.

   “Hey. ...You okay?”

   She chokes out a small laugh. “Yeah. I should be asking you that.” She wipes the loose strands of hair from her face. “...I was just worried about you. Wasn’t expecting to find you half dead next to the bleachers.”

   “I wasn’t half-dead,” he snorts; taking his bookbag and setting it on the bed.

 

   Before he can even turn, Rey’s arms tighten around him as she presses her face into his chest. He’s not complaining, but it does take him by surprise. Typically she’s more restrained with displays of affection. 

 

   “How was I to know,” her muffled voice asks. Then she pulls away to look at him. “I still don’t get why they did this to you. Was it over that box?”

 

   The box. Ben had forgotten about it. Quickly he unzips his bag and takes out Rey’s gift. The paper is torn in places and one of the corners is dented, but hopefully, the foam inside was able to keep it intact. He frowns but hands it to her as he takes a seat.

 

   “They were just looking for a fight, I think. But this is the reason why I’d asked you to meet me.”

 

   A look of confusion spreads over Rey’s face as she slowly takes the box.

 

   “I’d wanted to give it to you earlier but,” he shrugs, “I didn’t want to make it a spectacle in front of the others. In case you didn’t like it or ...didn’t want it. ...I wasn’t sure if-” He presses his lips together to keep himself from rambling as Rey slowly removes what remains of the wrapping. 

 

   Moving aside a layer of bubble wrap and foam, Rey’s mouth gently falls open upon seeing the Faberge egg replica nestled safely inside. Ben lets out a quiet sigh of relief that it doesn’t appear to be broken. Seconds go by and all Rey does is stare at it, and the knots in Ben’s stomach only grow tighter as his brain jumps to every conclusion. 

   Slowly, Rey takes out the small navy egg and inspects it. Her eyes rove over the gold leaf inlay and lacquered portraits of swans on a moonlit lake.

 

   “It’s a music box,” Ben clarifies.

 

    Rey glances at him before gently opening the front of the egg to reveal a porcelain ballet dancer spinning in the middle; the tune to Swan Lake chiming softly. Ben watches as Rey’s face softens as a small smile forms. 

 

   “...Do you like it?”

   Without looking away, Rey replies, “Very much so.” 

 

   And it appears she does. When the song ends Rey gently closes the door panels and places it back into its protective shell.   

 

   “It’s beautiful,” she whispers. “Ben, this must have cost you a fortune.”

   “No. Not as much as you’d think.”

   She shakes her head and carefully closes the box. “Thank you.”

   “You’re welcome.”

   “If I’d known, I would have gotten you something.”

   Ben tries to think of something sweet to say but all that slips out is, “You did. You gave me a ride to the ER.”

   Rey smiles but lets out a frustrated groan as she gently pushes his hair to the side to look at the wound. “That’s a terrible gift.”

 

   He can think of a better gift; though asking for it may be in poor taste. But if she let him, it would make this whole afternoon worth it. 

 

   “Then...instead...would you allow me the chance to kiss you?”

 

   His heart sticks in his throat; his mind suddenly panicking as her expression goes blank. He shouldn’t have asked. What a stupid thing to do. Yet right as he’s about to apologize her hands slide under his jaw and hold him there as her lips softly press onto his. 

 

_    Oh! Oh. Ohhhh.  _

 

   She kisses him again and this time he melts into it, pulling her as close to him as she can get. The stitches tug as he works against her mouth but he barely notices. Not when he finally has her kissing him. God, how he’s thought about this. Granted, he never imagined it taking place in an exam room but-

 

   The sound of someone clearing their throat breaks them apart. Ben looks over to find the nurse standing in the doorway, shaking her head. 

 

   “You’re uncle is here, Mr. Solo. It’s probably best you don’t keep him waiting.” She gives Rey a pointed look then disappears back into the hallway. 

 

   Rey looks back at him; a small blush staining her cheeks. “God, that was embarrassing. Think she’ll tell Luke?”

 

   Ben stands to kiss her again. 

 

“I wouldn’t care even if she did,” he mumbles against her lips.


	25. Needs Met

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I had a harder time with this chapter for some reason. Hope you enjoy the lovey-dovey feels.

   “Mom, I’m fine. Please, don’t make this into a bigger deal than it is. ...Yes. Yes, I filed a report while I was there. ...I doubt it. ...No! That would only make things worse! Besides, if they can’t come after me they might try and go after Rey. ...No, thankfully. ...Yeah, I was. ...No. Just the small section on my cheek. The rest they were able to glue. I took the bandage off this morning but I’ll have to go in on Wednesday and get the stitches taken out.”

  
  


~

 

KLACK. KLACK. KLACK. KLACK. KLACK. KLACK. KLACK. KLACK.

 

   Luke pauses as he hears Ben’s voice come closer to his office. In the doorway appears Ben’s injured face and messy hair.

 

   “Mom wants to talk to you.”

 

   Luke moves to get out of his chair but his nephew steps in and hands him his cell phone. Luke scowls at it. He’d much prefer to use an actual phone, but he takes the device anyway and gingerly uses both hands to hold it to his ear. 

 

   “Hi Leia,” he says, as he watches Ben disappear. 

   “How bad is it? He wouldn’t accept my video call.”

   Luke rolls his eyes. “Well, they have him on an antibiotic. I doubt he’s taking the pain relievers though. You know how he is.” 

   His sister hums. “Just like his father.” Then she sighs. “Well, at least it doesn’t sound like he started it this time.”

 

   Luke huffs in amusement. When he’d picked Ben up he’d just assumed that had been the case. But he was grateful to find he was wrong. 

 

   “Has the police come by or said anything?”

   “Not yet, no.”

   “Ben is insisting I don’t interfere.”

   “It’s...probably for the best, Leia.”

   “You too then, huh? ...Fine.”

 

   A pause falls between them.

 

   “So,” she finally says in a more careful tone. “Ben tells me Rey is going to ask the Council for a Senior Prom.”

 

   Luke grunts a confirmation. He hasn’t been looking forward to it.

 

   “Do you think it will happen?”

   “What? Of course not!”

   “Honestly, Luke, I don’t see why not. It sounds like she’s trying to do this by the book.”

   “By the book? Not sure how you get that. They know the law. They’re just acting like small children; asking for something they know they can’t have.”

   At that Leia laughs. “And it’s that kind of attitude that Ben rebels against.”

   “Well, I can’t help that! Leia, you know what happens to teenagers when they dance. They become sexually irresponsible!”

 

   He actually has to hold the phone away from his ear her burst of laughter is so loud.

 

   “Sexually irresponsible? Do you even hear yourself? Do you really think dancing is the only thing that gets them excited? Do you not remember being young? How Han and I would look at each other? Or, what about...oh, what was her name. That one girl you had a crush on.”

 

   A small twinge of regret pulls at Luke’s chest at the mention of Camie. They had been friendly but it had been just puppy love. Besides, he went his way and she went hers. It had been years since he’d heard anything about her. 

 

   “Anyway,” his sister says, bringing him back to the present. “It’s just the same with them. ...Unless you plan to put blinders over their eyes or something. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if the rest of the town’s leadership tried to.”

   “No. We’re not-”

   “All this over an accident,” she mutters.

   Luke pauses, to process her words. He can’t help the swift tide of frustrated anger that takes him. How could she dismiss their friend, her husband, Ben’s father, that way?

 

   “I am responsible for the souls of this community-”  

   “Oh, stop. Luke, you can’t be a father to everyone. Hell, you’re still trying to figure out how to be one for Ben.”

 

   Then Leia grows quiet on the other end. Luke fights back the hurtful words that scream to be let loose into the world. To barb his sister just as she has him. But he is a better man than that. At least, he likes to think he is.

 

   “I had hoped that at least you believed in me,” he says solemnly. 

   His sister lets out a sad sounding sigh. “I’ve never stopped believing in you.”  

  
  


~

  
  


   Rey groans as she balls up her seventh attempt at a speech and tosses it over her head. Her Saturday had consisted of nothing but texting reminders to those Rose had said would come out and support her Monday night and several failed attempts at writing her speech. And it didn’t help that Finn kept saying she needed to pull this off so he could show off his “sweet moves”. 

 

   Laying her head on her desk Rey lets her eyes unfocus until the colors of blue and gold catch her eye. She stares at Ben’s gift for a few seconds before getting up to twist the key and listen to it play for the hundredth time. Her brain feels like it’s spinning along with Odette. But, not for the first time, listening to it takes her back to being in that room. The look he’d given her when he’d asked if he could kiss her. 

   And that was the thing. There had been several boys who’d tried to kiss her but none of them had ever asked for permission. It had kind of stumped her. So much so that when she finally decided to let herself have what she’d been wanting she’d just went and kissed him rather than saying anything. But Ben hadn’t seemed to mind. 

   Rey smiles at the memory. And once again her imagination spins off the different scenarios of where it could have led if that judgy nurse hadn’t shown up. The kisses were wonderful, but they were just samples. She was tired of holding back and keeping guard. Rey wanted more than just a taste.

 

   With another groan, Rey walks over to her bed and falls face-first onto it. 

 

   “Get it together, Rey. Stop thinking about what sex with him might be like and start thinking about writing this stupid speech.”

 

   But saying it out loud only seems to make it worse. As a distraction, she decides to grab her phone and texts him.

  
  
  


**_How are you feeling?_ **

 

**Sore**

 

**Itchy**

 

**And if mom calls one more**

**time offering legal advice I’m**

**gonna smash my phone.**

 

**_Ah. sorry, I guess._ **

**_At least she cares._ **

 

**She told me to tell you thank**

**you on her behalf.**

 

**She wanted your number to**

**tell** **you personally but I**

**wasn’t about to give it to her.**

 

**What about you?**

 

**_Honestly?_ **

**_Procrastinating by_ **

**_texting you._ **

 

**_I’ve been trying to write_ **

**_my speech but so far_ **

**_I’m doing a crap job. I_ **

**_have no idea how to go_ **

**_about this. I just get the_ **

**_feeling they’ll be too_ **

**_closed-minded to_ **

**_even hear me out._ **

 

**You have to find an angle**

**that will appeal to them. Make**

**them think.**

 

**_Easier said than done._ **

**_I don’t know this town_ **

**_well enough to know_ **

**_what might work._ **

 

**Sure you do.**

 

**_?_ **

 

**Come on Rey. Think about it.**

 

**I’ll give you a hint. Scripture.**

 

**_Use the Bible to_ **

**_convince old guys to_ **

**_let us dance…_ **

 

**Got a better idea?**

 

**_No_ **

  
  
  


**_Okay. I’m flipping_ **

**_through this thing_ **

**_and don’t even know_ **

**_where to start. I asked_ **

**_Terry but all he did_ **

**_was laugh at me._ **

 

**Terry’s a dick. I still find it hard**

**to believe your adoptive mom**

**is his sister.**

 

**_Me too._ **

 

**I’ve got no plans today. I’ll see**

**what I can find for you to use.**

 

**_REALLY?!_ **

 

**Sure. I’ll have to give it to you**

**Monday morning though. I’m**

**skipping church tomorrow. I**

**prefer to put off everyone’s**

**judgmental stares for at least**

**another day.**

 

**_I doubt it looks that bad._ **

 

**Maybe not. But that doesn’t**

**keep people from whispering**

**about what I did to get it though.**

  
  


    Rey frowns at that and wonders if Hux will even have the nerve to show up. Surely not with Luke there. 

  
  


**I best get started then.**

**Someone has to write your**

**speech.**

 

**_Funny._ **

 

**_Thank you._ **

  
  


~

  
  


   Rey rolls over and stares at the numbers on her clock; wide awake from her vivid dreams and racing mind. With a determined sigh, she crawls out from under the covers and heads toward the bathroom.

  
  
  
  


   Zorri places her pillow back into the coat closet and once again drags out her luggage case to pick from her limited attire. With the sofabed back in place and all traces of her presence gone from the living room, she heads up the stairs to use the guest bathroom. Before she can reach for the door handle, the door opens, revealing Rey already dressed and wearing just a hint of makeup. 

 

   “Oh! Morning. I didn’t expect you to be up this early.”

   “I couldn’t sleep,” her daughter says softly.

 

   Part of her brain notices Rey seems a little off but despite the cup of coffee Zorri still feels exhausted.    

 

   “Well, I was out cold. It’s been a long week.” She points to the inside of the bathroom. “Can I?”

   “Oh, yeah. Sorry,” Rey tells her as she gathers her makeup bag and brush.

   “Thanks,” Zorri says as she shuffles inside. 

   But before she can shut the door Rey leans in and asks, “Hey, mom? Just so you don’t worry,” Zorri instantly frowns in concern, “I won’t be at church today.”

 

   Zorri blinks and does a quick once over of her daughter. Rey doesn’t appear sick.

 

   “Okay, well, where will you be?”

 

   Rey takes a deep breath and picks at the sleeve of her blouse. It’s a nervous habit the girl has had for as long as Zorri has known her.

 

   “I’m going over to Luke’s.” 

 

_    Luke’s? Luke will be at church. _

 

   Rey raises her eyebrows as if to stress something. Zorri’s sleep-deprived brain is trying to catch up and connect the-  _ ah _ . 

 

   “By chance, is Ben also not going to be at church?” 

 

   Rey gives a slow shake of her head and Zorri nods. 

 

   “Can I pee first? Then talk about this afterward in your room?” 

 

   Rey nods and heads back down the hall. Zorri shuts the door and stares at her reflection.

 

_    When did I get so old? And when did Rey stop being that little girl I brought home? _

 

    But Rey had had to grow up sooner than most. She’d only been in Zorri’s life for eight years. 

 

_    But I suppose I knew this chapter of her life would end eventually. I just didn’t realize it would be this fast.  _

 

~

   Taking a deep breath, Zorri gently knocks on the guest room door and peeked her head inside to find Rey watching her from her borrowed bed. Stepping inside and closing the door, Zorri takes a look around the room. The girl had never really kept many material possessions, once telling her it was because she never knew when she might have to move again. 

 

   “So, you and Ben, huh? ...He seems nice. The two of you’ve been dating a while?”

   “Not exactly,” Rey answers cautiously. “I had asked we take it slow. And I never actually labeled us as anything.”

   “Hey, nothing wrong with slow. Slow’s good.”

   Rey nods nervously. “I know. ...I’ve been thinking a lot about it though. There’s something special between us; an understanding. ...I’ve never really felt that with anyone before. ... And it seems to be the same for him.”

 

   Zorri gives her a small smile and walks over to sit on the small bed next to her. Her eyes catch the sight of a beautiful blue and gold egg sitting on the nightstand.

 

   “Ben give you that?”

   “He did, yeah. Friday.”

   Zorri smiles. “Valentine’s Day. It’s pretty. Looks expensive. He must really like you.”

   “He seems to.” Then she frowns. “He does.”

   Zorri gives her a moment but asks, “And...do you? Like him?”

   Rey looks at her, then at the egg. “I do. I was scared to admit it but...I do.”

   “And, uh, is that why you’re sneaking over to see him?”

   Rey laughs. “That bad of an idea, huh?”

   “Well, no,” Zorri sighs. “But I’m trying not to think about what you probably have in mind when you get there.”

   Rey gives her a shy smile but it quickly fades. “Are you going to stop me?”

   Zorri studies the girl for a moment before taking her hand. “No. No, I suppose I’m just lucky you’re willing to tell me. ...Had my mother known I was off to see some boy she would have locked me in a closet or something,” she laughs. “But, you’re sure about this? He’s not pressuring you or anything?”

   “No. Nothing like that. It’s rather surprising just how respectful he’s been.”

 

   Zorri instantly awards the boy one mental tally point. She couldn’t say the same of her past love interests. 

 

   “No, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and,” Rey looks up at her and whispers, “I want this.”

 

   Zorri nods, then leans over to hug her daughter.

 

   “You deserve some happiness, Rey. Hopefully, he appreciates just how special you are.”

 

   Rey doesn’t say anything, but her slim arms tighten around her. Sniffing back threatening tears, Zorri pulls away and lets out a small laugh. 

 

   “I’ll tell everyone you’re not feeling well this morning, but you may want to get back before everyone’s home from church. Luke’s a sharp one. I’d bet money he’ll notice.”

~

  
  


   Ben stares at the tea bag as it floats in the hot water. He’s not one to drink tea of any variety, but it’s the second day he’s skipped his morning run and his pent up frustration is going nowhere. He’s skeptical just how “calming” Luke’s Calming Camomile Tea really is. But he figures it’s worth a shot. He’d finished crafting Rey’s speech well into the early hours of the morning, and after already taking a shower he’s now out of distractions. 

 

   Assuming the tea is done, Ben tosses the tea bag, adds a spoon of honey, and heads back to his room. His desk is a mess with notes scattered around his bible. His shirt is still slung over his chair. And he never took the time to make his bed. He considers cleaning up but doesn’t really see a point, and opts instead to just finish reading the borrowed book of selected poems by Sharon Olds while drinking the mug of weird flavored water. 

 

~

 

   To play it safe, Rey parked further down the street and briskly walked toward the house. But as the cold morning air began biting at her face she instantly regretted it. 

 

 _How in the world is it possible for Jedha to be ten degrees colder than Chicago right now? This makes no sense!_ _London probably feels like summer compared to this._

 

   As she made her way up to the front door Rey paused, then hurried back down the porch and towards the back corner of the house. Spotting the ladder Ben had once mentioned he’d used to sneak out of his room with, Rey takes a quick look around and grabs the ladder. She’s not afraid of heights but her heightened nerves aren’t helping her feel confident about scaling a roof. 

 

   “I’m going to feel extremely stupid if I end up picking the wrong room. Or if he’s not even home. God, I’m an idiot. Why didn’t I text him first? But what would I have said? ...Well, I’m going to have to think of something to say.”

  
  


   As if on cue, the window above her grumbles open and a topless Ben stares at her in surprise. Rey just stares at him.

 

   “Rey? What are you- Jesus, it’s cold! Here,” he says, leaning out the window to offer his hand. 

 

   Rey’s brain stalls for a second before she finally realizes she’s still crawling up a roof in the bitter cold with no gloves on. With a small jump, Rey grabs on to his hand and the edge of the window seal with the other. It’s a slight scramble but she manages to not look like a total idiot. Warmth greets her as she enters the room, and Ben quickly slams the window shut.

 

   They just stand there, staring at each other, her shivering with her hands tucked under her arms and him just, well, shirtless. He must realize he’s just gaping at her because he blinks and quickly walks over to his bed. Yanking the comforter off he turns to wrap it around her. Rey is sure she looks ridiculous. But it’s warm and she’s grateful for it. 

 

   “Hi,” she manages to say.

   A grin spreads across his face. “A hell of a way to make an entrance. What are you doing here?”

 

   Rey swallows; her brain scrambling for something to say that doesn’t sound too tactless. 

 

   “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

   He lets out a small laugh. “You could have just texted and asked rather than freeze to death on my roof. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled to see you. But,”

   Rey steels herself. “I wanted to...make sure the monster wasn’t still under your bed,” she says, recalling his flirty request when she’d dropped him off after Maz’s. “Maybe join you...as I tuck you in.”

 

   Rey holds her breath as Ben studies her; his smile fading.  

 

   “I’m surprised you remember that,” he says quietly. 

 

   The charged silence is too much. Rey pulls the comforter from around her and sets it at the end of his bed. 

 

   “Or, if you’re good, I can go. Maybe through the door this time.” 

 

   The thought hurts. More than she thought it might. But Ben steps towards her and gently pulls her toward him. 

 

   “No, I’m pretty sure the monster’s still there. I could use the company.”

   “Yeah?”

   “Yeah,” he breathes as he nuzzles her nose. 

 

   Rey ignores the thrill of touching him as she wraps her arms around his neck and presses herself lush against him.

 

   “I’ve never faced a monster before,” she confesses, using the metaphor to convey what she can’t bring herself to fully say. 

 

   He must understand, because he pulls away slightly to look at her, brow furrowed; questioning. 

 

   “But I’m not afraid,” she assures. And it’s mostly true. “Not with you at my side.”

   “You sure about this?

   Rey stretches up to kiss him. “I am. Brought two condoms in my back pocket just in case.”

   Ben chuckles against her lips before kissing her. “Be a shame to waste them then.” 

 

   Rey hums in agreement as she unzips her coat. Ben steps back and helps remove the garment; his smile wide with amusement. As she reaches for buttons on her blouse Ben stills her hands with his own and kisses her slowly.

 

   “No need to rush this, Rey. I’ve waited this long. We’ve got time to take it slow and get you warmed up.”

   “I am still cold.”

   He hums, amused, and kisses her chilled fingers. “Not what I meant.”

  
  


~   

 

   Ben couldn’t help but smile as Rey’s stomach growled.

 

   “Sorry,” she whispers. 

   He pulls her tighter to him. “Don’t be. I’d say you burned a few calories.”

 

   The comment earns him a playful smack on the chest, but it’s followed by a tender kiss. He supposes he should get up and offer to grab her something from the kitchen, but it’s nice just laying here, holding her and being held by her; to still feel loved after the fact.

 

   “I probably should check and see what time it is,” Rey mumbles into his collarbone.

 

   Without moving too much, Ben looks over at the clock on his desk. She’s waiting for an answer but he doesn’t want to give it. He knows she’ll leave if he does. Dropping his head back onto the pillow he wraps himself around her even more. 

 

   “I kind of need to breathe,” she laughs, shoving him so that he loosens his hold somewhat. “What time is it?”

   “I don’t want to tell you.”

   “That late?”

   “Ten till noon.”

 

   Rey groans in response.

 

   “Stay. You don’t have to go just yet.”

   “When does Luke come back?”

 

   Luke. If he didn’t get invited to have lunch with someone he’d probably be back at the house by one. And if he did notice Rey was missing then he probably would head straight back. 

 

   “One, probably.”

 

   Rey shifts so as to look at him. Her eyeliner is slightly smudged at the sides but he doesn’t care. If anything, it highlights the flecks of green among the brown in her eyes. 

 

   “Can I stay at least thirty more minutes?”

 

   What a silly question. He’d have her stay forever if he could. Rather than answer, he rolls atop her and begins to slowly kiss up her neck. 

   Everything about Rey is wonderful. And he couldn’t have asked for a better lover. He wasn’t used to someone asking what he wanted. And he was more than willing to help her discover what she might like. 

 

   “You can stay all day for all I care,” he rumbles. 

   “Mmm. Pretty sure Luke would say otherwise.”

   “Luke doesn’t need to know. I could run downstairs and get you some food. The bathroom’s across the hall if you need it. I’ve got more condoms around here somewhere. We’d just have to be quieter.”

   Rey laughs. “Listen to you!”

   “I’m serious! Luke rarely comes up here. And even when he does, he doesn’t dare set foot in my room.”

 

   Rey runs her fingers over his lips to quiet him, before dragging them slowly over the sharp planes of his face and gently around his wound. It aches a little due to him moving his mouth so much and nuzzling her skin. But the pain and discomfort have been worth it. 

 

   “You know I can’t stay. Even if Luke never knew I was here I’d still have to find a way to get back into my own home. Plus we have school tomorrow. And I need to work on what I’m going to say tomorrow night.”

 

   He knows she's right, but he still lets out a disappointed sigh anyways. Rey smiles and leans up to kiss him. 

 

   “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I wrote you’re speech for you then.”

   “What?” 

   “Yeah. Finished it early this morning.”

   “Can I see it?”

 

   Reluctantly, Ben lifts himself off of her and steps towards his desk. He hands the paper to her and watches as she reads.

 

   “Ben, this is… This is great! ...How did you know to find all this?”

   “Really?” he says in mock offense. “I may not be like my uncle, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t learned anything from him.”

   She offers him a shy smile. “I don’t know what to say.”

 

   He crawls back into bed next to her and drapes the comforter back over both of them.  

 

   “Then say you’ll stay for just a little longer.” 


	26. Hit By Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For whatever reason, this chapter didn't come easily. So I hope it's alright. The next chapter will pick up the next day.

   Luke couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Something about the morning just felt off. For one, he hadn’t expected to see his sister sitting among the pews next to Poe Dameron. Armitage Hux was missing, though Luke had a good guess as to why. But Rey Bliss was also missing. And he found that oddly suspicious. He’d meant to ask Ms. Bliss about the girl but was intercepted by Leia once his sermon had ended.

 

   “It seems Ben has his phone turned off. I take it he stayed home?”

 

   Luke’s frowns. That can’t be a good sign. 

 

   “He said he was.” 

   “Poe didn’t even know Ben had been to the hospital.”

   “No,” Luke sighs. “I get the feeling it’s something he’s trying to keep private.”

   “Well, that won’t last long.”

   He nods in agreement. “I assume you stopped by to see him?”

    “Figured I’d take a few days off, just in case. Maybe see how the meeting goes tomorrow night,” his sister says; a twinkle in her eye.

 

   Luke tries his best not to groan.  

  
  


~

 

   Ben stuffs his comforter into the washing machine and shuts the door right as he hears the telltale creak of the front door opening. A sliver of panic runs through him as he quickly starts the machine and sniffs at his shirt. Rey had only left fifteen minutes ago and he hadn’t yet had time for another shower. 

 

   “Ben?”

 

   Ben’s eyes widen as his mother’s voice calls for him.

 

_    Shit! I didn’t know she was coming! Shit. Shit. Shit.  _

 

   He quickly runs his fingers through his tousled hair so that it at least looks messy on purpose. Right as he makes to leave the laundry room his mother steps into the doorway.

 

   “Oh, look at your handsome face! I can’t believe they did this to you.”

 

   Ben glances over his mother’s head to look at his uncle as his mother shifts his face from side to side. Luke shrugs and gives him a look as if to say, ‘I didn’t know either’. Slowly he pulls away his mother’s hands and takes a step back. 

 

   “Mom, I’m fine. You didn’t need to come down here.”

   “Am I not allowed to be concerned for my son? ...And you weren’t answering your phone.”

 

   Ben mentally curses himself. He had never bothered to see who’d been calling when he’d shut the device off. He’d been far too focused on Rey.  

 

   “I’m gonna get started on lunch,” his uncle declares uncomfortably.  

   “I’ll join you in a moment,” his mother calls over her shoulder. But she waits till Luke is gone before saying, “Armitage wasn’t at the service today.”

   Ben stiffens. “I had a feeling he wouldn’t be. He’s probably hiding in some hole, worrying about getting arrested.”

   “As he should! Hopefully, the police have paid him a visit.”

   “Guess I’ll find out tomorrow. Luke’s forcing me to go to school.”

   “Well,” his mother says, bobbing her head from side to side. “They are watching your attendance closely after last year.” 

 

   Ben supposes he understands.

 

   “...How are you feeling?” she asks, eyeing his face. 

 

   Having her look at him like this makes him even more self-conscious, and reminds him of just how much he’s dreading school tomorrow. At least Rey had looked him in the eye rather than at his wound. 

 

   “I’m fine,” he tells her, looking away.

 

   She hums the way she does when she doesn’t believe him but says nothing more of it. 

   “Well, I told Luke I’d be in town for a few days in case I’m needed.” 

 

   Ben opens his mouth to tell her that’s unnecessary but she gives him a mischievous look. 

 

   “Thought I might attend the meeting tomorrow night. See how Rey does.” 

 

   Ben narrows his eyes in suspicion. 

 

   “Assuming she’s feeling better,” his mother smirks. 

 

   Before he can even breathe she pats his chest and winks. 

 

   “Why don’t you go get cleaned up while I go help Luke with lunch.”

 

   Ben swallows and watches as his mother walks out of the room; leaving him to sag against the washing machine. 

  
  


~

 

   Zorri was setting the table when Rey, dressed in her pajama set from Christmas, walked into the kitchen. It was strange to see her wearing her hair down, even when it was still damp from showering. She wanted to tease her about it but since everyone else was gathering around the table she decided against it. 

 

   “Rey, dear. It’s nice to see you out of your room. Feeling any better?” Lucy asked her. 

   Rey for her part gave a weak smile, but Zorri could see the shine in her eyes. It was rare for Rey to fall ill. But when she did, she looked awful. Zorri couldn’t help but remember the time the poor girl caught the flu just a few months after moving in with them. She’d looked like death warmed over. 

 

   “Oh, yes. For the most part. I figured I should try and eat at least a little something.”

   “Well, I asked the Lady’s Circle to pray for you. I’m glad it helped.”

   “That’s, uh, very kind. ...Thank you.”

 

   Lucy beamed and went about spooning food onto the twins' plates.  

 

   As Terry began to say the blessing, Zorri gently squeezed Rey’s hand. Rey peeked at her and Zorri give her a questioning look. She’d tried not to think about what Rey and Ben had been up to, but she couldn’t help but worry a little. She watched as her daughter tried and failed to hide a wide grin. Zorri smiled at her and closed her eyes; giving God her own silent thanks.   

  
  


~

 

   “So, Finn was at church today.”

   “Oh yeah?”

   “He came with Poe.”

   “And did Armie have the balls to show up?”

   “No. I didn’t see him.”

   “Good. ...The bastard.”

 

   Zorri gives her a stern look. Rey refuses to apologize but says no more of it. 

 

   “Senator Organa was also there.”

 

   Rey’s chest tightens slightly as her mother smirks. 

 

   “I didn’t know she was coming in.”

   “I get the feeling that no one else did either,” her mother shrugs.

 

   Rey wonders if Ben had known. Probably not. And he would probably complain about it tomorrow. But she thinks it sweet nonetheless.

   “She asked about you.”

   At that Rey’s eyes widened slightly. “Did you…”

   “I told her you were feeling a little under the weather.”

 

   Rey nods but wonders if Leia had believed it. 

 

   “I don’t think she believed me though. She’s far more observant than her brother. Told me she was sure you’d be feeling better by tomorrow, and that she is looking forward to hearing your case for the dance in the meeting tomorrow night..”

   “Oh,” is the only thing Rey manages to say. 

 

   She wasn’t sure which was more unnerving. The thought of his mother guessing where she had been or the fact that she would be in the audience tomorrow night. 

 

   “Did you end up finishing your speech?”

 

   Rey huffs a laugh and tucks her hair behind her ear. She’d rather just twist her hair up into a bun, but she supposes she shouldn’t go around broadcasting the small hickey Ben had left.

 

   “Thanks to Ben, yeah.”

   “Oh?”

   Rey can feel her cheeks turning color. “He offered to help look up some lines about dancing from the Bible. But apparently, he stayed up late writing the whole thing for me. It’s...really inspiring actually. I hope it works.”

  
  


   Before either of them can say anything else, the sound of breaking glass, followed by shrill screams from upstairs, sounds throughout the house. Outside, Rey hears tires screech and a flicker of headlights zooms past. 

   Zorri runs up the stairs as Rey runs towards the door. It was too dark and the vehicle is too far away to read the plate, but Rey is willing to bet money that the taillights were those of a 3 Series BMW. 

 

   Hurrying back inside and locking the door behind her, Rey takes the stairs two at a time. The crying sounds as if it is coming from the twins’ room, and Rey peaks in from the doorway. The window between the two twin beds has a jagged hole near the bottom. Thankfully whatever it was seemed to have landed on the floor. 

   Lucy stands in the corner, holding the girls and trying to calm them with reassurances as Zorri carefully removes the bedding without spilling any more of the broken glass. Terry stands in the middle with his back to her.

 

   “What happened? Are they okay?”

   Terry slowly turns to look at her. In his hands is brick with the words BURN IN HELL written on it. Rey swallows. 

 

   “It would appear that someone is trying to send you a message,” he growls.

   “Terry, please. Not now,” Lucy begs through tears of her own.

   “I don’t-” Rey starts, but is quickly cut off.

   “First my family gets harassed and now we’re being terrorized! All because off your radical ideas!”

   “Terry!” Zorri hisses.

   “Radical ideas?” Rey asks, anger creeping into her voice. 

   “Ever since you started speaking out against the town and starting trouble over this dance of yours we’ve done nothing but suffer for it! People have stopped coming to my shop. You’re aunt Lucy has been getting nasty phone calls here at home. And you’re mother-”

   “Terry! Stop!” Zorri yells.

   “She lost her job because of you!” Terry snaps, pointing his finger right into Rey’s face. 

 

   Rey’s too stunned by the news to bat away the man’s hand. Instead, she looks over to her mother. Zorri gives her an apologetic look before angrily glaring at her brother.

 

   “Can someone please call the police!” Lucy yells.

   Terry seems to snap out of his blind rage and mutters, “A lot of good that will do,” but leaves the room and heads down the hall. 

 

   Rey looks over at the twins and feels guilt settle over her. 

 

“The girls can stay in my room, Lucy.”

 

   The woman nods and quickly ushers her daughters out of the room, leaving Rey and Zorri to stare at one another. 

 

   “Is it true?”

 

   Zorri fidgets with the corner of the comforter and loudly sighs after a moment.

 

   “Yes.”

 

   Rey’s heart sinks.

 

   “I went and asked Mr. Plutt if I could get off work a little early on Monday so as to make sure I could make it to the meeting to support you. But instead, he decided to take the opportunity to tell me all the things he’d heard about you and felt the need to tell me that...I need a husband so I can stay home and raise you like a proper mother.”

 

   Rey’s mouth falls open in disbelief. 

 

   “I told him where he could shove it and walked right out,” her mother said with a shrug of indifference.”

 

   Rey couldn’t believe any of this. Had she been the cause of all these horrible things happening to those around her? Terry had been complaining about his customers for a month now, but she didn’t know why. Lucy hadn’t said anything. And Ben… And now Zorri too?

   Tears blurred her vision. But as she closed them Rey could feel Zorri wrap her arms around her. 

 

~

 

   “What’s wrong with this town, mom?” Rey asks.

 

   Zorri pauses as she folds out the sofa bed.

 

   “It’s like...the whole town is choking. ...But it doesn’t even know it.”

 

   The woman seems to think about that for a moment before proceeding to finish making their shared bed for the night. Rey wishes she were back in Ben’s bed. Warm and safe and feeling loved; not hated by seemingly everyone. She wanted to text him or call him. Just something to help her feel anything other than this overwhelming sense of guilt. But she knew he’d probably just freak out. She could wait until tomorrow morning. 

 

   Once the bed was ready, Zorri came over and made her climb in; tucking her in like she did that first year they’d become a family, before laying down next to her.

 

   “Can I ask you a question?”

 

   Rey nods.

 

   “Why this dance? What’s so important about it?”

 

   Rey bites at her lip as she tries to find the words.

 

   “It just started as a dance. ...An idea to just help the kids in town have some fun and express themselves a little. But… I don’t know. You probably wouldn’t understand.”

   “Try me.”

   Rey sighs. “...When I was abandoned...for years...I always wondered if it had been my fault. And when things started getting rough between you and dad…I couldn’t help but start wondering again if it was my fault.”

    “Oh, Rey.”

   “My dancing was the only thing he seemed to be proud of me for. And so, I thought, maybe… But in the end, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make him stay. ...The kids here, they want to dance. They know they're missing out. So I thought, maybe I can make a difference for them. A real difference.” 

   “You are making a difference, Rey. And changing things is never easy. So, despite what’s been happening, don’t think it’s for nothing. And what happened in the past...none of that is your fault. Your father was proud of you. But he didn’t leave because of you. It...there was a lot more to it. But I think it’s great, what you’re trying to do. And I’m sure you’re friends appreciate you for it.” 


	27. Requests

   Ben kept his eyes down the entire walk to his locker and tried his best to tune out the whispers as he walked past. 

 

   “What happened to Solo?”

   “I don’t know. Probably got into another fight.”

   “With who?”

   “Who knows.” 

   “They kicked his ass, whoever they were.”

   “It looks awful.”

   “Yeah. Like the rest of his goofy looking face.”

 

   Ben pressed his lips together and took a deep breath before looking over to glare at the gawking group. They quickly looked away and dispersed without saying another word. Gritting his teeth, he went back to grabbing his books. He wanted to blame Luke for forcing him to endure this ridicule, but he knew it wasn’t fully his uncle’s fault. If he hadn’t skipped so much school last year and gotten suspended those few days for fighting he probably could have stayed home. 

   Still, it had taken every ounce of restraint not to grab the one asshole by the collar and bloody his face until it looked awful. 

 

   With a slam of his locker, Ben looks around to find Finn and Rose huddling around Rey. Some of the tension eases in his chest as he walks over to them. But slowly that feeling is replaced by concern. Rey’s shoulders are drooped, head held low; Finn on edge, Rose anxious. 

 

   “At least think about holding off,” Finn whispers. 

   “But that might embolden whoever it was to harass her again,” Rose counters.

   Ben frowns. “What happened?”

 

   Rey’s two friends glanced over at him. 

 

   “Someone vandalized Rey’s home last night,” Finn says with indignation.

   “What!” Ben looks at Rey, who’s avoiding looking at any of them, and asks, “Why didn’t you call me?” 

   “We just found out about it too,” Finn informs, clearly pissed.

 

   Finally, Rey turns towards then and waves her hand as if to silence them.

 

   “It was late and there was nothing anyone could have done. Alright?”

 

   Ben can see she’s angry but as she pauses for a moment she looks over at him. He can’t tell if it’s fear or maybe an apology, or both, that he sees in her eyes. It does sting him a little that she didn’t call. To have such a special morning together only for her to not confined in him hours later. But he tries not to take it too personally. Rey’s a private person, he knows. 

 

   “It was unsettling but in the end, no one got hurt. And I have no proof of who it was, so...”

   “You still could have told me,” he whispers. 

   After a moment Rose asks, “Okay. So, how do we move forward? What’s the plan for tonight?” 

 

   Rey looks over at her friend and gives a small smile. Slowly, Rey’s demeanor shifts into one more confident into the Rey he admires.  

 

   “We proceed as planned.”

 

   Rose’s cherub face instantly brightens.

 

~

 

   “I am sorry I didn’t tell you,” Rey says as she walks with him to the parking lot. “I’d meant to this morning but Finn wouldn’t stop freaking out about everything.”

 

   Ben wants to reply but the only things he can think to say would probably just come off as rude, so he says nothing instead. 

 

   “...I can tell you’re mad at me. I’m assuming it’s because I didn’t call you.”

 

   Just the look on his face as he glances down at her seems to give her enough of an answer. 

 

   “I wanted to, okay?” she says hotly. “But so much was going on and it was late and…” Then she grows quiet. “The brick came through my nieces’ bedroom window, Ben.” 

 

   He stops walking and truly looks at her. 

 

   “It could have landed on either one of them, but thank God it didn’t. Their beds were covered in glass. They were screaming and my Aunt was terrified and my mother was trying to help. And when Terry saw what was written on the brick he immediately started blaming me and told me of all the things that’s been happening to them.”

 

   Ben watches as her eyes become glassy with tears, and his frustration with her completely evaporates. Had she told Finn and Rose this?

 

   “The town’s been boycotting Terry’s store. Lucy’s been getting threatening phone calls. Mom’s boss told her she needed to stay home and do a better job of raising me.”

   “What?” 

   “Yeah,” Rey bitterly laughs. “Can you believe it? So she quit and is once again out of a job.” 

   “Fuck. That’s...” He has no idea what to say.

   “And all that on top of what happened to you on Friday.”

   “Rey, that-”

   “All because of me.” 

 

   It hurts to hear her voice break at the end as she shuffles in place trying to hold herself together.   

 

   “No. No, it’s-”

   “It’s just a dance! What about that is this town so afraid of? Enough so to threaten and...and hurt people over?” He goes to say something but quickly she says, “So...I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t get mad at me over a phone call.” She looks up at him; a spark of anger mixed with a plea for understanding.

 

   Now knowing the truth, Ben feels like the petulant child he knows he is. He doesn’t like apologizing, but he feels Rey deserves one.

 

   “You’re right,” he breathes. “...I’m sorry.”

   “Thank you,” she says, before leaning forward and pressing her face into his chest. 

 

   Its dramatic enough to bring a small smile to his lips, but nothing about what’s going on is funny. Kissing her hair, Ben wraps his arms around her and pulls her flush against him. 

 

   “I let the girls use the guest room I’ve been staying in, and spent the night with Zorri on the sofa bed,” Rey mumbles. Then she shifts so that he can hear her better. But her hands grip tightly onto his back. “It sucks, Ben. It sucks laying there, in a house that isn’t your home, knowing so many people around you either hate you or want nothing to do with you. It’s like my childhood all over again.”

 

   Ben squeezes her more tightly to him. Her story is far different from his, yet he can feel the weight and pain of her words bone deep within himself because he’d felt that way once too. 

 

   He nuzzles her hair and presses a light kiss to her forehead. “But there’s some who are glad to have you. ...Who love you.” 

   Rey looks at him with a ghost of a smile. “That’s true. If nothing else, at least I have that.”

 

   Ben dips so as to give her a small kiss. Enough to reassure her that she does. 

 

   “I fell asleep trying to imagine I was back in your bed with you,” she admits. “I hadn’t felt that safe in a long time.”

 

   Her confession does something to him. Something he can’t name. Not once has anyone ever said they felt safe around him. It’s usually the opposite. But to know that she thought of him, of them together as a form of comfort, satisfies him on a level he can’t even gauge. 

 

   “I wish you could have been. ...You’re the only person I’ve ever shared it with.” 

 

   Rey looks at him then, questioning. He doesn’t want to talk about his past relationship with Barriss, but if she asks he will. But she doesn’t. Instead, she gives him one of her beautiful slow-blooming smiles that he loves. 

 

   “Get a room!” someone yells.

 

   Ben looks up and is about to flip off whoever ruined their moment, but Rey beats him to the punch.

 

   “Oh, fuck off ‘ya wanker!” she yells over her shoulder.

 

   Ben can’t help but laugh, then steals a kiss from her sweet filthy mouth. 

 

~

 

   Rey takes a deep breath and tries to center herself. Zorri looks over at her and offers her a supportive smile. Rey manages a small smile back but it quickly fades as she looks around the room one more time. The room is packed, with some even standing up in the back. It’s like the whole town showed up for the town hall. And maybe it did.

 

   Quietly the members talk amongst themselves before one of them leans towards the mic. 

 

   “The floor is now open for any new business.”

 

   The room is dead silent, and it only makes Rey more nervous. Leia, sitting three rows ahead of her, catches her eye. The Senator gives a subtle nod and turns back towards the front. Slowly, Rey stands. 

 

   “Good evening. My name is Rey Bliss. I’m here tonight on behalf of the Jedha High School’s senior class. After much debate and consideration, we are here in hopes of gaining permission to have a Senior Prom held at the school, Spring of this year.” Rey takes in one more deep breath. “And to ask that the town’s rule on public dancing be abolished.”  

 

   Applause and cheers sound from behind her but are quickly silenced. The Council members look to one another before they all look towards Ben’s uncle. Luke sits at the end, and for a moment, just stares at her; a forced smile forming on his face as though he’s preparing to explain something to an irritating child.

   Rey doesn’t dislike Luke, but it irritates her how he’s looking at her. It’s obvious he’s already made up his mind. And it’s even more obvious he’s the only one deciding this. 

 

   “Ms. Bliss,” he begins, “and those of the Senior class in attendance, even if public dancing wasn’t against the law, which,” he stresses, “it is, I do not think I could comfortably endorse something that is frot with so much peril.” He lets the room hang on his words for a moment. “Liquor and drugs seem to go hand-in-hand with such events.”

 

   Rey scoffs but the adults in the room softly mumble their thoughts. 

 

   “I also worry about the spiritual corruption involved with these acts. Dancing, and the type of music that goes with it, can be destructive to one’s moral ways of life. And...I feel that the rest of the community agrees.” 

 

   Several in the crowd nod in agreement and even clap. Rey can feel a sense of panic rise within her. She glances over to where she’d seen Ben standing. He’s not looking at her but at his uncle. Even from this distance, she can see his eyes ablaze with fury. 

 

   “Very well,” says the Chairman. “Let us then have a vote.”

 

   The room explodes with arguments. Some of the Seniors begin yelling at the council members. Parents begin scolding their children. Terry and Zorri even being to bicker. 

 

   The Chairman tries to call order but Rey yells over the noise.

 

   “I’d actually like to say more!” 

 

   At this, the room settles. Except for one woman, whom Rey doesn’t know. 

 

   “This is outrageous!” the woman cries. “Why has this hoodlum even been allowed in here?”  

   “Sit down, Martha,” Leia orders. 

 

   No one says a word. And the woman, Martha, sheepishly sits back down.

 

   “I believe Ms. Bliss has a right to speak.”

 

   Several of the Seniors applaud and whistle. Rey steals another glance and Ben before slowly walking towards the podium; her mother’s Bible containing Ben’s paper clenched in her hand. Quickly she unfolds his speech and looks to each member of the council.

 

   “From the oldest of times, people danced for a number of reasons. They danced in prayer. Or so that their crops would be plentiful. Or so their hunt would be good. And they danced to stay physically fit...and show their community spirit. They danced to celebrate. ...And that is the kind of dancing we're talking about.” 

 

   Moved by Ben’s words, Rey grabs the Bible and walks past the podium, holding the book out as if to show the very words she’d read. 

 

   "Aren't we told in...Psalm 149 ‘Praise ye the Lord. Sing unto the Lord a new song. Let them praise His name in the dance.’ And it was King David - King David, who we read about in Samuel…” Rey’s memory goes blank. “And what did David do?” Quickly she scrambles to look at his notes. “What did David do? ...David danced before the Lord with all his might. Leaping and dancing before the Lord.  _ Leaping _ and  _ dancing _ !” Rey then turns to look at Luke. “Ecclesiastes assures us that there is a time for every purpose under Heaven. A time to laugh...and a time to weep. A time to mourn.. and a time to dance. And there was a time for this law. But not anymore. See,” she says loudly, “this is our time to dance! It is our way of celebrating life! ...Just as it was the way in the beginning. It's the way it's always been. ...And it's the way it should be now.”

 

   Luke, to his credit, had at least listened. But it’s clear to Rey Ben’s words did nothing to sway him. Angered by his indifference, Rey turns and storms out of the room. 


	28. Sense Of Control

   Rey has nowhere to go. She rode with Zorri here, so she can’t drive out to her “Secret Spot”, and when she gets back to the house she won’t have a room to hide in. She could ask to spend the night with Rose, but it’s already so late.

 

   She pulls out her phone to text her friends an apology but pauses. Rather than sitting here feeling sorry she should be doing something. Something to get her out of this town and back to the life she’d dared to dream about. Moving here had thrown any plans for college awry, so she’s probably behind for applying, but that’s a small bump in the road that she can overcome.

   Rey opens her Contacts instead and scrolls down to find the number to the Fine Arts Academy in her phone. An outline of an idea starts to take shape. If she can help Chewie bust out what few vehicles that are left she might have some time to start looking up potential schools, scholarships, and types of loans. 

 

~

 

   “They got Railroaded,” Chewie tells her. 

 

   Rey looks up from the monitor screen to the giant that has somehow stuffed himself into one of the tiny lobby chairs.

 

   “Railroaded?”

   Chewie nods. “Luke walked into the meeting already knowing you were going to ask. He probably had already gotten every member on his side before you even asked. His speech was just to sway the rest of the town.”

 

   Rey’s shoulders slump. In hindsight, her boss isn’t wrong. Still…

 

   “So, what are you going to do about it?”

   Rey’s brows furrow. “Do about it? Nothing! It’s over!” She shakes her head and refocuses on the school’s audition dates listed on the screen. “We lost. Best just to move on and focus on things I might be able to do something about.” 

 

   She can feel her anger rising. The defeated look on Rose’s face that morning. The smug look Armie had given them from across the room. The fact that Ben was once again not talking to his uncle and had been in a foul mood all day. It was all too much.

 

   After a moment, Chewie asks, “But what if it isn’t?”

 

   Rey looks back over and gives him a questioning look. But Chewie’s looking at the pictures of Han up on the wall while absentmindedly scratching his beard.

 

   “My property is outside the town limits. The law wouldn’t be an issue there. Han and I built a good size barn several years back to keep his little two-seater plane in. ...Was supposed to give it to Ben once he was old enough… But we could clear it out and you could have your dance in there.” 

   “A barn dance,” Rey says flatly. But then she thinks about it. “That’s not a bad idea. ...You’d be willing to do that?” Chewie nods. “But what about Luke?” 

 

   Even if the ban doesn’t reach Chewie’s property she’s still afraid Luke would somehow find a way to stop them. Her boss turns his gaze away from the photos to her. 

 

   “Maybe this can be a way to show Luke that dancing won’t morally corrupt all of you youngins,” he chuckles. “It might just change his mind.” 

 

   Rey grins; hope flickering inside her once more. 

 

   “Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?”

   The old man barks out a laugh. “Well, when I first hired you I think you did. But it’s always nice to hear again.”

 

~

 

   He’d missed play practice but Ben was glad to finally be rid of the string attached to his face. He at least looked somewhat normal again. 

 

   Leia had offered repeatedly to drive him to the doctor’s before leaving, but he’d insisted he do so himself. She’d relented, but not without asking him to at least start speaking to his uncle again. The saddened look on her face when he’d ignored her pleas and told her goodbye that morning was still haunting him. 

 

   It was at that moment he caught sight of his uncle’s church up ahead and turned into its parking lot. 

 

~

 

   Even before entering the sanctuary, Ben could hear his uncle’s voice echoing behind the doors. Luke was hunched over the podium, reading aloud from his script, and hadn’t even noticed him enter. Silently, Ben moved to sit and watch.

 

   “And the angel came down and looked upon them and said, ‘Woe! Woe! Woe! Woe to the inhabitants of the Earth. And I saw a star given from Heaven unto the Earth. A key to the bottomless pit.”

 

   Taking a breath, Luke looks up then does a double-take, surprised to see he’s not alone. 

 

   “You know,” Ben says calmly. “I used to enjoy watching you prepare your sermons.”

   Luke shifts as if nervous. “And now?”

   “I see a stage. And costumes. ...A show.”

 

   Ben’s surprised to find he admits this without malice. But what he used to see as wonder and magic from a higher plane now just looks like a man, dressed to impress,  trying his best to convince a crowd to buy into his way of thinking with theatrics. The irony of Ben’s love for theater suddenly hits him. 

 

   His uncle’s shoulders slump and slowly he walks away from the podium and down the step towards Ben’s pew. 

 

   “It’s the only way I know how to reach people’s emotions,” Luke admits. He stands for a moment before inviting himself to sit in the pew in front of Ben. “I’ve missed talking to you.”

   “You weren’t talking to me either,” Ben reminds him. But he lets that fact slide and shrugs. “We were both angry.” 

   Luke sighs and hangs his head. “ I can’t let this dance happen.”

   “Did Rey’s words stir nothing in you?” His uncle goes to speak but he doesn’t let him. “I wrote that speech for her. I stayed up for hours researching passages I thought might convince you.”

 

   Luke seems genuinely surprised and, if Ben’s reading him correctly, a little guilty. But he looks away and shakes his head.       

 

   “I just...It’s not appropriate,” Luke stresses. 

   “Because people fornicate,” Ben deadpans. “That’s what you told the church board.”

   “That was not for your ears,” Luke scolds, clearly unhappy at being listened in on. 

   Ben can’t help but burst out in laughter. “So when will I be old enough? I’m eighteen. I’m not a child anymore. And I’m not a saint.”

   “I have a duty to uphold the spiritual growth of the youth-”

   “Oh please. I’m not some pure virgin to be molded. I’m not even a virgin!”

 

   Before he can say more, Luke jumps from the seat, clearly mortified and at a loss for words. 

 

   “Don’t! ...Don’t talk like that. Not in this church!”

   Ben stands to tower over his uncle. “Why?” He holds out his arms and looks around. “Is this not the place I am supposed to confess my sins? Father! Forgive me for I have sinned! ...If I cannot come to my pastor for forgiveness then who?”

 

   Ben stops to watch his uncle scramble for a reply, and he’s disappointed to see the man has none. He hopes at least he’s gotten to him on some level. But before either of them can say more a woman runs into the Sanctuary in a panic. 

 

   “Mr. Skywalker! There’s...there’s a book burning happening at the library! Please, help!” 

 

   Quickly, Luke runs after her, and Ben follows.

 

~

 

   Luke’s mind feels as if oil has been poured on it. Ben’s judgment and confession have him feeling like a failure. And the scene before him only worsens his sense of loss of control. A group of twelve or so adults stand among a pile of burning books on the library lawn. Children and teens stand back gawking and frightened. The librarian is among the spectators; kneeling and crying. 

 

   “What’s going on here?” Luke yells. He frowns as soon as he sees Frank walk toward him.

 

   “I asked if the offensive books had been removed and they hadn’t been. So we decided to take matters into our own hands. If they are offering morally corrupt books to our children then they must be removed and burned in a cleansing flame.” 

 

   Luke can’t believe his ears.

 

   “Please! Everyone! Stop this and think for a moment. Is this truly the best way? And, what right do you have to judge? God is the only judge. He has not given us the authority to permit this? You have come here in hopes to snuff out evil, but what will you do when they are gone? Satin is not in these books, he’s in our hearts!” 

 

   He sighs then and looks around at the faces of those in attendance. Every one of them is a member of his church. And something about that causes him shame. Had he unintentionally caused this? 

 

   “I want everyone to...to go home and...reflect God’s judgment upon yourselves.”

 

   Slowly, those crowded around shuffle away from the scene. Luke suddenly feels a heavyweight settle onto him and looks over to see Ben staring at him. The boy, no, young man, looks at him for a moment before turning away; his face blank.  


	29. Opportunity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SO SO SO sorry I haven't updated in over a month. Holiday stuff and then the Exagol-sized pit of depression I fell into over Ben's death... yeah. But I've climbed out. Bruised and injured, but I'm back. Thank you for coming back to read. We're getting close to the end! Hope you enjoy. This chapter is a little short so I do apologize. But I'm going to try to finish this fic up as quickly as I can.

   Ben mouthed the dialogue as he waited for the pull of the curtain. Even though Haldo had assigned him the task of setting up the scene changes he’d still memorized the male lead’s dialogue.  The curtain squeaked across the stage and Ben got to work.

 

   “Great job everyone,” Haldo said, applauding. “Why don’t we take a quick break before we run through the musical number.”

 

   Ben was so focused on his task that he almost bumped into his teacher.

 

   “Oh, I’m-”

   “No, I was in the way. Don’t worry,” Haldo replied with a warm smile. “...You’ve been doing a great job with the sets by the way.”

   “Thanks.” But when he noticed she was still standing there, he asked, “Is there something wrong?” 

   His teacher tilted her head as if deep in thought. “How do you feel about singing?”

   Ben blinked. “Singing? ...In general or-”

   “I think the musical number would look better if we had an even number of people on the stage. You’ve managed to work well with everyone so far, so I thought I’d offer the opportunity to you.”

   He didn’t even try to hide his excitement. “Sure! Yes. Thank you.”

   “Good! Then head over to the costume rack.” Haldo leaned in a little closer. “I had a costume made just in case.”

 

   Ben laughed as he watched his teacher give him a peppy thumbs up before walking over to the clustered group of actors. It wasn’t something like Lead replacement, but at least he now had an actual part. One that was actually in front of the audience.

   He couldn’t wait to tell Rey.

 

~

 

   Luke’s car was in the driveway but his uncle was nowhere to be seen inside. Taking the opportunity, Ben dropped his bookbag at the foot of the stairs and wandered into the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal while he called Rey. 

   He frowns as it sends him to voicemail. “Hey. It’s Ben. Uh, got some cool news at practice today. Mind calling back? Just..whenever you’re done with work.” As he sits the bowl on the counter he noticed a post-it note with his name attached to a pamphlet. “Uh…” It was yet another ad from the Air Force. Only this time Luke had left it out to make sure he saw it. Ben’s heart sinks. “Yeah. Bye.” He goes to pull the phone away but then quickly added, “Love you!” He curses himself and ends the call before tossing the phone onto the counter. 

   Sighing, Ben picks up the leaflet and carries it over to the trash. He’d told both his mother and uncle multiple times he wasn’t set on enlisting but they’d just tell him how he’d always wanted to fly like his father when he was little, and how proud Han would be if he did. 

   It was frustrating. And confusing. It wasn’t that he hated flying, he loved it. But it wasn’t something he wanted to make a career out of.

 

_    So what do you want as a career? _ It was a question that had been gnawing at the back of his mind. He supposed he couldn’t fault Luke for trying. Graduation was three months away practically and he hadn’t looked into a single university. His mother had recommended several. Tuition wasn’t an issue. And despite his disciplinary and attendance issues, his grades were still among the highest. 

   No longer hungry, Ben grabbed his phone on his way out of the kitchen and headed upstairs.

 

~

 

   Rey sunk into the driver seat and let out a long breath. Chewie had closed up shop early so he could show her the barn in question. It was hard to gauge but Rey was pretty sure it would work. There were only eighty-six students in the graduating Senior class and less than that had shown interest. 

   Chewie swore the plane would work and that moving it would be simple. But just cleaning out the barn would be a challenge. Han had left a lot of junk behind as well.

   But first, she needed to get back home and look over the list of scholarship papers she’d printed out. That, and call Ben back. Rey dug out her phone and placed the call on speaker. 

 

   “Hey. I was starting to wonder if you’d gotten locked in a trunk or something,” he quipped

   Rey huffed. “No. I was out at Chewie’s property. I didn’t want to bring it up at school today but I might have a back-up plan for the dance.”

   “Oh?”

   “Yeah. Chewie was the one who came up with the idea. I was telling him about what happened and he suggested we use his old barn. That the ban doesn’t have any effect out where he lives.”

   The line was silent for a moment before a quite, “Huh,” sounded on the other end. 

   “It might work. Granted, the barn really needs a good cleaning. Did you know your dad’s plane was being kept in there?”

   “Dad’s… His old Bonanza A36?”

   “I don’t know. I guess. I didn’t ask what it was. Just some little single-engine two-seater thing. It’s really cute.”

   “Dad would have killed you for saying that.”

   Rey laughed. “What, for calling it cute?”

   “Yeah.”

   “Well, it is. ...Chewie’s been holding on to it until you’re ready to take it.” 

   The phone was silent for so long that Rey checked to see if they’d been disconnected. “You still there?”

   “...Yeah. I… I didn’t know that.”

   Feeling unsettled by the silence, Rey asked, “So what was it you wanted to talk about?”

   “Oh, right. Holdo offered me a part in the musical number.”

   “Ben, you didn’t tell me you could sing! And you’ll be dancing?”

   “Well, kind of. Dancing, I mean. I can sing. Or, at least I’ve been told I can.”

   “That’s so exciting! Congratulations!”

   “Thanks. Weirdly enough she already had a costume made for me.”

   “See, Haldo’s not all bad.”

   “I guess.”

   “Well, I can’t wait to see it. Have you told Luke or Leia?”

   “No.”

   “Why not?”

   “Uh… I don’t know. ...They’d probably just think it silly.”

   “You should tell them. Show them your talent.”

   “Maybe.” Ben’s chuckle, even over the phone, gives her goosebumps. “Choreographed skipping might make Luke’s head explode. Speaking of which… Are you free this Saturday?”

   “I am. Why?” Rey grinned. “What do you have in mind?”      

   “What to come over for a few hours?”

   “I’d love to.”


	30. An Offering Of A Plan

   Rey blankly stares at Ben’s calendar on the wall; his chest lifting and lowering her face with each resting breath. A smile forms on her lips as his limp fingers entangled in her hair twitch, but it slowly fades the more she stares at the calendar. 

 

_    How can it already be March? There’s so much still to do. And what about this? About Ben? You should at least tell him your plans. See if its worth still… _

 

   Rey closes her eyes and rubs her face into his smooth skin as she tightens her grip around him. She’s tried to not think about this. About the moment when they realize they’re life goals will split them apart. She hates that she waited so long to finally allow herself the chance to love him. How much does one have to hate themselves to start a relationship when they know they’ll just have to end it soon after. 

 

   Rey sniffs, trying not to let her feeling of bliss be completely ruined. Ben’s fingers glide against her scalp and Rey feels him shift under her. 

 

   “Rey? You okay?” 

 

   Rey mashes her lips together to keep from saying something sudden or stupid. 

 

   “Rey?”

 

   She inhales the smell of him, of them, just in case this is the last time, before shifting to look up at him. The hazy look he had before has now been replaced with clear worry and she feels a nip of guilt. 

 

   “Yeah. I just… I was just thinking about what might happen after graduation.” Rey watches as his brows furrow even more. “With us I mean.” 

 

   Rey watches as his Adam’s Apple bobs as he looks up at the ceiling. “Yeah,” he replies softly. “I’ve been thinking about that too.” His fingers slide from her hair and down to her shoulders. “I’m not really sure what I’m going to do. Luke’s been leaving more hints recently about joining the AirForce but… Mom thinks I should, but I think she’ll support me in whatever I choose.” His chuckle rumbles under Rey’s fingers. “Pretty sure she’ll just be happy to hear I don’t plan on being a bum.” 

 

   Rey smiles at that, and stamps down the tiny little voice that wants to be bitter about the fact he takes that option for granted.

 

   “I looked up some drama programs to just get an idea of what I might be getting into.” 

 

   His words creep into the back of Rey’s mind and she sits up to better look at him. Ben looks over her for a moment then looks back at the random spot on the ceiling and frowns. 

 

   “It’s not going to be easy though. A lot of the good ones only take a handful each year.”

 

   Rey can’t help herself. “Which ones did you look at?”

 

   Ben shrugs. “Yale, Julliard, NYU Tisch, Brown.” He shrugs again. “Somewhere in a city. I’m tired of living in nowhere.”

 

   Rey would laugh but the wheels in her head are turning. She’s not sure if saying so is a good idea or not. She doesn’t want to seem clingy or desperate. But it’s an idea. 

 

   “I looked into two of those.” Rey bites her lip when he quickly turns to look at her. “NYU Tish and Julliard were also on my list.” 

 

   There’s a heavy pause between the two of them, and Rey wishes she could read his mind. She supposes how is good a time as any to throw out her plan.

 

   “During Spring Break, Zorri and I are driving back to Chicago for a few days.” Ben moves to sit up against the headboard and Rey rushes to finish, afraid he’ll stop her before she’s done. “I’ll be back in time for my birthday. But the plan is to find a decent place to rent. I’ve already contacted Ms. Sutton at Mayfair Academy. She’s willing to take me on as an aid to some of the instructors. It won’t pay much but it’s something.”

 

   Ben’s jaw twitches and the knot in Rey’s stomach tightens. He looks more upset than pissed. But he’s also no longer looking at her. He’s looking at her hand as it grasps his. And while she hadn’t even given any thought to her state of undress, Rey now feels truly exposed.

 

   “Ben, I’m moving back in June. Like you said, they only take a limited number so I’ll be applying to both schools. But both hold auditions in Chicago. Tish in January, Julliard in February. Pace is my third choice but all three are in New York. If I can get into one of them I’ll be moving there by the end of next year.”

 

   There. She’s told him. And the silence is killing her. Would it kill him to say something? Anything? Finally, he turns his hand in hers and rubs his thumb against hers.

 

   “I didn’t know you could audition there,” he says softly. 

 

   Rey licks her lips. “They hold auditions for acting students at the same time.” 

 

   At that Ben looks at her once more. “What are saying?”

 

   Rey opens her mouth but sighs and laughs at herself. “Honestly? I don’t know.”

 

   “Are you asking me to go with you?”

 

   Is she? Rey wouldn’t mind if he did. “I’m not asking you to do anything. ...I want you to do what you want to do. But…”

 

   “Would you want me to?”

 

   Rey swallows and gives a slight nod. “Would you?”

 

   Ben’s eyes brighten as a small smile spreads across his face. 

 

~

 

   “Oh yeah,” Rose says as she wanders through Chewie's barn. “This would work perfectly. Granted, we’ll need a lot of help to fix it up, but I think it’s big enough.” 

 

   Rey grins. She’d had a feeling Rose would be thrilled. Rey had no intention of throwing a Barn Dance but that’s what Rose keeps calling it. 

 

   “So should I start letting people know about it?”

 

   Rey’s wondered about this. She could just go over Luke’s head and invite those who want to come and have the dance regardless, but the thought didn’t sit right with her. If she was going to do this, she wanted to at least give it one last proper try. To have his blessing on the matter would make it less difficult on Zorri’s family and those who want to attend.

 

   “No,” she says finally with a shake of her head. “Not yet. I think I’ll talk to Luke one last time.”

 

~

 

   Ben quietly picks apart the roasted chicken he’d picked up for their dinner. Luke had been in working away in his study so long he’d lost track of time. He’d had to go and tell the old man it was well past time to eat and that he’d already made him a plate. Ben hadn’t minded though. It gave him something to focus on.

 

   “Your mother said she’ll try and come by next weekend.”

 

   “Oh? ...How is she?” Ben notices how Luke’s hand stills at the question. “She said she wasn’t feeling well last I talked to her.”

 

   Luke looks over at him and gives one of those fake reassuring smiles he gives to people who ask for special prayers.  “She’s good. Better.” 

 

   Ben gets the feeling that’s not entirely true but he knows not to pry. He’ll get nowhere. 

 

   “Leia said you invited her to the school play?”

 

   “I did, yeah. I, um, ended up getting a small role.” Luke looks up at him in surprise. “In the musical number.”

 

   Luke nods as if pleased. “Well, I’m glad to hear it. You’re very talented, Ben. You must be doing well in the club I take it?”

 

   “Yeah,” Ben nods. “I am. Doing well I mean. ...And you’re invited to come too if you want.”

 

   Luke chuckles. “Thank you. I’ll make sure to be there then.”

 

   Ben grins down at his plate as he continues to pick at the chicken.


	31. Moments In Time

 

Leia closes her eyes to shut out the spinning lights of the stage. It’s the second dizzy spell she’s had this week. But with a deep breath, she forces her eyes open and wills herself to feel better. She has too. She came out here to see her son, and by God, that’s what she’s going to do. 

 

   “You okay?” her brother’s voice whispers. Leia glances over at him and gives a nod and a smile. But when he gives her that look that says he doesn’t buy a moment of her crap she shakes her head. 

 

   “No. But I’ll be alright. Don’t worry about me.”

 

    Luke frowns but looks back toward the stage. “I think Ben may suspect something. I haven’t told him anything but he seems worried about you.”

 

   Guilt once again worms its way through her. But before she can say more on the topic Rey and her mother walk past their row. 

 

   “Rey!” When the two spot her she waves them over and motions to the empty seats next to her. 

 

   “Leia,” Rey says with excitement. “Good to see you. I’m glad you could come.”

 

   It’s not often people genuinely seem happy to see her, so Leia sokes the moment in.  “Good to see you as well. Both of you,” Leia adds, nodding to Zorri. “I’m glad I was able to move my schedule around. It’s not every day Ben invites me to something.”

 

   “Did he? Good,” she beams. Leia wonders if Rey might have had a hand in her invite, but she supposes it doesn’t matter in the end. 

 

   “And it’s nice that you could come out as well Mr. Skywalker,” Rey adds, leaning over to look at Luke. Leia smiles. She knows a diplomatic gesture when she seems one. 

 

   “Thank you, Rey. I figured it was a good idea to come out and support the local high schoolers.”

 

   Rey’s smile falters slightly. “Well, I know having you here will mean a lot to Ben.” 

 

   Leia could kick her brother when all he replies with is a hum. 

 

~

 

   Leia claps as loud as she can as her son walks across the stage to stand with the rest of the cast for a bow. As the applause dies down Rey  gently touches her arm and whispers, “Let’s go meet him at the side door.”

 

~

 

   Ben’s pretty sure his face will ache tomorrow from all the grinning he’s done. It had been thrilling and terrifying and everything in between. But he wants to know how it looked from the outside, so he hurries to put everything back in its place. 

  
  


   Pushing open the side door, Ben spots his family standing next to Rey and her mother. Once again a grin stretches across his face as Rey hurries over to him.

 

   “How was it?” he asks with a little worry. But it mustn’t have been too bad. Her arms wrap around his neck and pull him into a hug; a subtle kiss pressed into his skin. 

 

   “That was great!” she mumbles before pulling away. “You were so good! And funny!”

 

   “Yeah?” 

 

   Eagerly she leads him toward his mother. He’s glad to see her. Both her and Luke. Ben hopes they’re proud. “Thanks for coming.”

 

   “You were wonderful, Sweetheart.” His mother’s small frame squeezes him gently. “I’m so proud of you.”

 

   “Thanks.” He’s sure she would have said such a thing regardless of it being true or not, but it still feels good to hear. “Did you enjoy the play?” 

 

   His mother laughs. “For a school play, it wasn’t too bad. Whoever played the old colonel was hilarious.”

 

   “Yeah, Jim’s pretty funny.”

 

   “And your dance number was delightful. Everyone seemed to really  enjoy it.”

 

   “Oh, good. We worked really hard on it.”

 

   “Well it shows,” she beams. Then she looks over at Luke and grins. “Even heard him chuckle a time or two.”

 

   Luke lets out a quiet laugh and nods.  

 

~

 

   As Ben’s phone pings for the millionth time, Leia looks up to glare at her son. She’s been here for three days and his phone has been pinging non-stop for the last two. 

 

   “For God’s sake, Ben, at least set the thing to vibrate.”

 

   He looks up from his laptop to stare at her blankly before seeming to realize what she’s asked. He fiddles with the device, stares at it for a moment, types something out, then focuses back on the laptop. 

   She hasn’t bothered to ask what he’s doing, but now she’s curious. She would have assumed he would have ran out the door first thing since Spring break started. But all he’s done is sit at his laptop, take notes, and look at his phone every damn time it pings. 

 

   “What are you up to anyway,” she asks. “Your phone has been ringing more than mine.”

 

   Ben shifts uneasily in the chair. “Rey’s in Chicago and has been sending me pictures.”

 

   That doesn’t seem so bad. But he’s either lying or there’s more to it. “That’s an awful lot of Selfies.”

 

   The comment gets a nervous laugh from him but he shakes his head. “No. There, uh, pictures of apartments and stuff.” 

 

   Interesting. “She’s moving back?” Even from the living room, she can see him swallow.

 

   “Yeah. In June.” Leia’s about to comment on the news but Ben carefully says, “She’s asking for my input since I couldn’t go with her.” 

 

   Leia studies him for a moment and waits for him to finish. His unease visibly grows the more she says silent.

  
  


   “We’re going to be sharing the place for a couple of months till be find out which universities we'll be attending.”

 

   Leia sits dumbfounded for a moment. “Oh,” is all she can manage. When Ben doesn’t reply she asks, “Does Luke know any of this?” He gives a small shake of his head. 

Leia closes her own laptop, gets up, and makes her way into the kitchen to sit next to her son. “Then do you at least mind telling me what the two of you have planned?”

 

~

   “Jeez,” Rey says through a yawn. “Why did I have to go and date the guy who wakes me up to take me stargazing for my birthday? Doesn’t God say something about sleeping in on Sundays?”

 

   Next to her, Ben laughs. “I know. I’m an asshole. And it’s ‘God rested on the seventh day’. There’s nothing about sleeping in.”  

 

   “Well, there should be.”

 

   “Should I just turn around and buy you a birthday card instead?”

 

   Rey looks over to see his teasing smile. “No.”

 

~

 

   There are already a few people; some sitting in vehicles, some stopped along the trail taking photographs. Ben ends up stepping off the trail and lays out a blanket on a cleared patch of dirt away from another couple. But hardly any of her surroundings are registering. 

 

   “Rey?”

 

   Rey pulls her eyes away from the sky to see Ben offer her the space in front of him. Quickly she crawls into the open space and cuddles against him; his arms wrapping around her to cover both of them in a thin blanket. 

 

   “What do you think?” he asks quietly. 

 

   Rey looks back up at the white and blue dots scattered like freckles across the blue-black sky. The purple and yellow dust of the universe swirled behind all of it, looking almost like a spine, holding it all together somehow. 

   She’s seen photos of such moments, but the emotional impact of seeing it with one’s own eyes wasn’t something she’d had expected. In some weird way it’s as if everything she’s ever experienced up to this point means nothing. And that somehow that’s okay. It’s freeing in a way she can’t describe. 

   Ben’s chuckle next to her ear breaks the spell and Rey shifts to glance back at him. 

 

   “ Judging by the look on your face I’d say getting out of bed was worth it?”

 

   “Definitely,” she grins. “Saying it’s beautiful just doesn’t seem to do it justice.” His hummed laugh vibrates down her spine, and Rey leans into him even more. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

 

   “Of course.”

 

   The kiss he gives her is sweet but far too short. Rey leans after him as he pulls away but supposes it’s probably for the best that they not start making out in the desert with others around them, so she looks back up to see the stars begin to dim as the blush of a sunrise begins to form.

 

   “Happy birthday day, Rey,” he whispers.

 

~

 

   “Amen,” mumbles the congregation.

 

   Rey opens her eyes and readies herself to make the long, slow shuffle toward the exit. Once she’s halfway down the alse Ben bumps into her. 

 

   “Just a heads up, Luke knows about your dance.” 

 

   Rey looks up at him in alarm. “What?”

 

   “Chewie apparently told him. He’s already grilled me about it but he’s planning on talking to you too I think.”

 

   “Shit,” Rey whispers. “How mad was he?”

 

   Ben glances toward his uncle. “He honestly seemed more worried than angry.”

 

   Rey mules that over. She can work with that. “Thanks for the heads up.”

 

   “No problem,” he says while giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “I’ll talk to you tonight.    

  
  


   Sure enough, as she extends her hand out to Luke, he leans forward and asks, “Miss Bliss. An old friend of mine said you were planning a little get together. Might you be able to stay for a few minutes and speak to me about it?”

 

   “Sure, Mr. Skywalker.”

 

~

  
  


   Luke sighs nervously as he sits on the pew. “Chewie stopped by to visit Leia when she was in. He mentioned he’d been cleaning out his old barn. Found a lot of ...old things that had belonged to Ben’s father. ...I suppose you know about Han?” 

 

   “I know a little,” Rey tells him with a smile. “Chewie talks about him often at work. Sounds like you all had a lot of fun together.”

 

   At that, Luke can’t help but laugh. “We did, yes. Han was a good friend. Impulsive. Reckless. And a bit too in love with life, but a good man.” 

 

   He grows quiet as the memories of their time shared come back to him. And it startles him when Rey says, “Ben told me what happened to him. I'm sorry.”

 

   Luke nods and clears his throat. “Then you know why I feel the way I feel. Why it bothers me to know you are still to go behind my back and hosting this dance anyway.” 

 

   He expects her to get upset or beg for his understanding, but she doesn’t. Instead, she just sits there with a gentle smile. “I haven’t actually put anything into motion yet. I was waiting to find the time to tell you. It’s not my intention to hurt you or anyone in this town, Mr. Skywalker. I understand why you feel the way you feel. But I also know that the kids in this town will grow up not knowing why you feel that way. They’ve been told what to do and what not to do, but never the real reason behind it. Dancing wasn’t the cause of Han’s death. Drunk driving was.”

   She pauses for a moment then softly asks, “Has Ben ever told you about my childhood?”

 

   “No. He hasn’t.”

 

   Rey nods, pleased. “I was abandoned at five years old. I've no idea why."  Luke looks at her with pity, but she shrugs and continues. “I don’t know if it was because of something I did or because of drugs or because of some financial situation. I ended up having to live for a while with a neglectful family that barely fed me. Took the authorities three years to finally believe me and press charges against them. Then one day this charming young couple came and offered to adopt me.”

   “I was scared. Scared they’d mistreat me. Scared they’d hate me or stop loving me. And...when I finally started opening up, when I finally felt like I’d know what it felt like to have real parents, my adoptive father said he couldn’t take it anymore. Being a parent wasn’t something he really wanted. That he’d just gone along with it to make my mother happy since they were struggling to have their own.”

   “He wanted a divorce. And it cost her practically everything. That’s why we had to move to Jedha and have been staying with her family.”

 

   Luke tries to swallow but finds his tongue is too dry to move. He didn’t have the best childhood either but it wasn’t as bad as what this poor girl had clearly experienced. He tries to swallow once more. “Rey, I… I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”

 

   Rey tugs at the seam of her dress for a moment but looks up with determination.  “As am I Mr. Skywalker. But my point is, I didn’t swear off dealing with adults all just because they’ve constantly let me down. If I had, I never would have gotten out of my living situation, or met Zorri, or finished school. I had to learn to have faith that things might one day turn out for the better.”

 

   Luke looks away in shame. Here he is, a pastor in his own church, sitting amongst his own pews, having to be reminded by this young woman that God works in ways that can be hard to understand. And that all we should do is have faith in His plan. 

 

   Rey then stands and steps as if to leave. “The kids in this town are going to leave here and be exposed to a lot of dangerous things. And I think we both know dancing isn’t one of them.”

 

   Luke looks up at her and slowly nods. 

 

   “Thanks for listening Mr. Skywalker. And whatever you decide… I know you’ll choose what you feel is right.”

 

   Luke watches as she walks out and lets the door echo closed. He feels gutted; at a loss. But her message was clear. And he had plenty he needed to pray on. A faint creak echos and he looks up to find his nephew stepping out from behind the choir entryway.

 

   “I suppose you were listening in?” he asks. But he knows he was and offers Ben a smile as he takes up where Rey had sat. 

 

   “You know,” Ben says thoughtfully, “some of the things she shared, even I didn’t know.”

 

   “Oh?”

 

   His nephew shakes his head. 

 

   “Well, she certainly gave me a lot to think about.”

 

   At that, Ben smiles. “Yeah, Rey’s good at that. She’s given me a lot of things to think about too.”

 

   “Hmm.”

 

   “L ike that night I ran away? ...She helped me realize I really wanted to come back. That I should stop taking you and mom for granted and stop being such a pain.”

 

   Lu ke thinks back to that night and realizes just how much Ben has changed since then. “I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t take my advice to stay away from her then, huh.”

 

   It’s a joy to hear Ben’s laughter echo once more through the sanctuary. And the realization causes Luke to laugh along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last chapter to go!!!!


	32. Leap Of Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I am so sorry this took me almost a month to get out to you. My crazy life got even more crazy thanks to a new puppy. But this story is finally complete!!!! This chapter is longer than most simply because we had multiple scenes to cover and this chapter features four songs. Hope you enjoy!

_“I know you better than you know yourself”_

_“You're not a secret or a story to tell”_

_“I walk on runways just to know you're safe”_

_“Ain't nothing sacred in this hostile place”_

_“Don't change, don't change”_

_“I need you tonight, I need you tonight”_

_“Don't change, don't change”_

_“We'll take down satellites”_

_“Take down satellites”_

_“You're not gonna be afraid”_

_“Now it's a little late”_

 

   Ben slows to a trot as he spots what looks to be his mother’s white SUV in the driveway. Taking out his Earpods, he waits to catch his breath before walking inside, unsure as to what he might walk into. 

   Luke hadn’t mentioned she’d be here, nor had she said anything when they’d talked earlier in the week. Yet there she was, sitting in one of his uncle’s old raggedy armchairs. Luke, however, was up pacing around the room looking more irritable than usual. 

   Unsure as to whether or not he should say something or just continue on up to the bathroom his mother looks over and gives a tight smile.

 

   “Morning, son.”

   “Mom? ...Is everything-”

   “We’re fine. I thought I might take some time off and come down to visit.”

   Looking between the two of them, Ben shifts uneasily. He can tell she’s lying but decides to let it go. “Okay. Well, I’ll be upstairs then.”

~

   Ben isn't stupid. She could tell he knew something was wrong. But she wasn’t about to drag him into this. 

   Once they could hear the shower turn on, Luke got right back to it. “I cannot condone this Leia. You know as well as I do how...how improper it is. He cannot move in with her. The moral implications! I mean, does her mother even know?”

   Leia nods slowly. “She does. I spoke with her over lunch about it.” When he stares at her as if waiting for a big reveal, she sighs, “And while she also has some concerns she’s going along with it.” 

   “No! A parent shouldn't go ‘along with it’. A parent makes the rules and the children follow them! If Ms. Bliss is so concerned, as she should be, then she should not allow it!”

   “I think there’s more to it than that.”

   “Of course there isn’t.”

   “No?”

   “No. And frankly I’m disappointed that my own sister would go behind my back and allow such a thing.”

   “Oh please, Luke. You know as well as I do the boy is going to do what he wants. Just be glad he actually has a plan, whether they stay together or not.”

   “Theatre,” Luke grumbles under his breath.  

   “Well,” Leia sighs, already drained by their conversation. “I’m at least proud of him. He’s wanting to do this on his own. Didn’t ask for a dime. Despite what you think of their living arrangement you have to at least admit that he’s been doing a lot better since Rey came into his life.” At her brother’s frown, she adds, “And do not let this affect your opinion on that girl! Before I told you about their plans you were actually considering her request.”

   “Yes, well, clearly my messages aren’t getting through to the youth of this town.”

   “This has nothing to do with your sermons, Luke. Rey wasn’t wrong. These kids today don’t want to stay and make a life here. I certainly hadn’t planned to when I was their age! You can’t protect them from everything, just as you can’t legally stop Ben from moving to Chicago, or New York, or wherever he ends up.”

   “Have you told him about your last doctor visit?” 

   “Don’t change the subject,” she warns. “He’s got a lot going on. The last thing he needs right now is to be worried about me. I’ve got you and Chewie doing enough of that for me.” 

 

   When the stairs creak they both fall silent again. Ben slowly walks into view, shrugging his coat on. “Will you be home when I get back?” 

   Leia’s surprised to hear his tone sounds hopeful, and this time she smiles earnestly. Not six months ago he would have flown out the door without saying a word. “Unless something major happens at the office, I plan to be.”

 

~

 

   “Forget what Luke says,” Poe suggests as he tetters back in his chair. “I say we just go down this weekend and clean the place up and have it anyways.”

   “Seriously?” Finn asks. “I mean, I’m down, but I’m just surprised you’re the one saying it.”

   Poe shrugs. “No offense, Rey, but Luke’s not going to change his mind.”

 

   Rey sighs and gives a slight nod. She hadn’t really expected Luke to listen but she’d felt it was worth one last try.

 

   “Do you think any of the council members would show up and, I don’t know, call the cops?” Rose asked.

   “Nah,” Finn mumbled with a mouth full of sandwich. “They wouldn’t go that far.”

   “Even if they did, who cares!” Poe says with a grin. “It’d be the most excitement this town has had in years.”

 

   Rey glances over at Ben. He’d been oddly quiet during most of lunch; staring off as if something were on his mind. 

 

   “You okay?” she asks, leaning over and placing a hand on his thigh. 

   Ben looks over as if realizing he’d been elsewhere, and smiles when he looks down at her hand. “Yeah. Sorry. Something was going on at home this morning and I’m not quite sure what to make of it.”

   Rey gives him a worried look. “Something wrong?”

   “I don’t know. Mom was there when I got back from my run. She acted like nothing was wrong but it was obvious her and Luke had been arguing about something.”

   Rey frowned.  “I thought they got along.”

   “Usually. Which is odd, considering their different viewpoints.”

   “Hey, Rey!” Poe yells. “So, we doing this?”

   “Doing what?”

   “The Dance.”

   Picking at her sleeves, she looks at each of her friends. “Yeah,” Rey nods. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to at least clean the place up.”

 

~

 

   Luke slowly walks over to the pulpit and looks out over the sanctuary. Taking a moment to let his eyes scan over the familiar faces, he opens his bible and stares at his notes. He had tried many times to come up with a sermon for today but Rey’s and Leia’s words had stuck to him like flypaper. He had been preaching long enough to know that when a topic continued to trouble him the Lord clearly wanted him to discuss it. Taking a deep breath, Luke closes the bible and silently asks God for guidance once more. 

 

   “Today… I’ve prepared something a little different. I’ve been troubled by the ongoings I’ve seen and heard happening in this community. Judgments made and stones being cast. These are things only for God. And, I too am guilty. Guilty of not having faith that God will handle these things.” 

   

   After a moment's pause, he tries again.

 

   “You see my friends, I have always taken responsibility for your lives. But really I’m like a first-time parent. One that...makes mistakes...and tries to learn from them. And like that parent, I have found myself at a moment when I have to decide if I hold on or if I let go. Do I hold on and protect my child and forever show him the way? Or do I trust that I have done my best and have hope that my child has learned from my lessons.”

 

   Luke looks out at the teens that dot the room; Ben, Poe, and Rey among them. He then catches Leia’s eyes and sees her giving him that knowing smile. A smile he vaguely remembers their mother wearing.

 

   “I turned to God for an answer. But there was no need. He had already given me one. When God created his children he sent his Son to teach them his lessons; to show them the way. But, in the end, God chose to trust. ...And we must start trusting our children. How will they ever become trustworthy if we do not first afford them our trust?”

 

   And here it was. Luke took a deep breath and grabbed onto the sides of the podium for support.

 

   “I’ve been made aware that the senior class has been made available a barn that they can use to host a senior prom.”

 

   Hushed whispers buzz through the room but Luke powers on.

 

   “Please. Join me in praying to the Lord that he guides them in their endeavors as they prepare for this event.”

~

 

   Rey can’t believe it. As the implications of Luke’s words hit her hope swells in her chest. Zorri’s hand grasps onto hers and Rey looks over to see her mother grinning from ear to ear. 

   Bowing her head for the prayer, Rey chances a glance over at Ben.  “You did it,” he mouths. Rey can’t help but grin at him, then quickly closes her eyes to give her own silent thanks.

 

~

 

_“She broke down and let me in"_

_"Made me see where I've been”_

 

   “Whoa,” Rey laughs. 

 

   Rose shifts from side to side as she attempts to keep from having one of the three wrenches she’s juggling fall on her. Missing by a second, Rose yelps as one falls out of reach, causing her to drop the others. 

   Rey covers her giggle and looks around to make sure Chewie hadn’t seen. But she spots him still in the plane going over the controls with Ben.

 

_“Been down one time”_

_“Been down two times”_

_“I'm never going back again”_

 

   Ben had been a little nervous but Chewie had insisted. Rey beams as the engine starts; the propeller kicking up some of the dust and dirt they’ve yet to sweep. Everyone steps out of the way as Poe slowly begins to direct Ben towards the doors.

 

 _“_ _You don't know what it means to win”_

_“Come down and see me again”_

 

   “Hey, Rey,” Kaydal yells from the rafter. “What do you think?”

 

   Rey looks up to see her attempting to position a giant glittering star. 

 

   “Maybe a little to the left. And… There! Perfect! Looks great!”

 

_“Been down one time”_

_“Been down two times”_

_“I'm never going back again”_

 

~

   Shifting from side to side in the mirror, Ben stuffs his hands into the pockets of his dress pants, stares for a moment, then grumbles as he removes his tie. 

~

   Leia wills herself not to cry as Ben comes down the stairs.  “Oh,” she coos. “Look at you. You look so handsome. I wish Han could see you.”

   He smiles slightly as he nervously brushes his hair out of his face. “He’d probably just make fun of me.”

   “What? No. ...Well, behind your back, probably. But he’d still be proud.” 

   He’s so tall she can barely brush his shoulders. Stepping back to admire him she notices he’d completely buttoned up the front of his Mandarin tux. “Where’s the tie?”  

   When she tries to undo the top button he stops her and smoothes the front of the tux with his hand. “I like how it looks this way.”

   “Very uniform,” she agrees.

   “Think Rey will like it?”

   Leia snorts in amusement. “I’m sure she will. And if she doesn’t then she has poor taste.”

   He chuckles and once again shows off that same smile Han used to give her. “Okay. Well, I better get going.”

   “Hang on. You’re forgetting Rey’s corsage.”

   Ben looks at the box and gently takes it from her. “Is this even a thing?”

   “Of course it is.”

   “I don’t even know if she likes Roses. Or flowers in general.”

   She gives him a flat look. “Just roll with it, Ben. And send me pictures! I know you hate them but I want at least one to sit on my desk at work.”

   Rolling his eyes, he leans down to give her a quick peck on the cheek, taking her by surprise. “Love you,” he yells over his shoulder as he heads out the door. 

   Leia watches, a little stunned, as he disappears out the door; her chest tightening for a good reason for once. “Love you too.”

 

~  

   “Well? Are you ever going to come out and let me see?” Zorri’s muffled voice asks.

   Rey gently pats down the hair she’d managed to shape into three connected buns and lets out a nervous puff of air. 

   It was so trivial, but after everything, Rey was pretty sure wearing this dress was the most stressful part. The dress itself was beautiful but it was the fact that it had been Zorri’s wedding dress at one point that made it awkwardly nerve-wracking. 

   For one she was shocked to find Zorri had kept it; claiming she’d held on to it in case she ever got remarried. While she’d tried to make it sound practical Rey could tell there was a more sentimental reason behind it. 

   Some small part of her wondered if the dress was cursed with bad luck and if wearing it was a bad idea. But the bottom line was neither her nor Zorri could afford a new dress. And they’d come up empty-handed when they’d spent a whole day scouring the local thrift stores and consignment shops. 

 

   “Ben should be here any second! I want pictures!”

   “Alright! Alright! I’m sure I look ridiculous”

   Zorri’s squeal as the door opened cut her off. “Oh my goodness! Sweety, you look beautiful! Gosh, that fits you perfectly.”

   Rey gives an amused smile and tries to tighten the front. “It’s a tad loose in the chest.”

   Quickly, Zorri pinches in the sides and examines her. “Safety pins can fix that.”

 

~

 

   Ben blows out a puff of air as he tries to shake off his increasing nerves and looks down at the plastic box containing the vibrant yellow rose wrapped in leaves and Baby's Breath. A quick thought of whether or not she’s allergic pops into his head, but as the door opens his mind quickly goes blank.  

   Out from behind the doorsteps Rey looking like some Grecian goddess in her long white dress; gold and pearl embroidering forming a band under the v-necked sash covering her breasts.

 

   “My face is up here, Solo,” Rey laughs as she snaps her fingers in front of him. 

   Ben blinks and looks up to study her face. “You look,” he says with a whisper. When she laughs at him he clears his throat and tries again. “Beautiful. You look really beautiful.”

   “Thank you. And you look very handsome.” When he doesn’t reply she grins. “Mind if I take that box from you before you drop it? I’d hate for the flower to get damaged.” 

   “What?” Ben looks down to see himself limply holding the box; the flower now fallen to one side. “Shit. Sorry.”

 

 

   As he goes to place it around her wrist Rey’s mother sneaks up behind her to snap a picture over her shoulder. 

 

   “Mom! Enough pictures!

   “Just one more. Stand over there by the porch swing.”

 

   Ben stiffly stands next to Rey and stares. He hates having his picture taken. He never knows if he should smile or not. No matter what he does he always seems to look goofy. 

 

   “Ben? Do you mind if I send this to your mother?” 

 

   He’s about to ask why she has his mother’s phone number but Rey quickly asks instead. Zorri shrugs and unexpectedly takes the photo. 

 

   “Yeah. She gave it to me that day we went out for lunch.”

 

   Rey shoots him a questioning glance but he gives a subtle shrug in hopes to let her know he knew nothing about it. 

 

   “Uh, sure. That’s fine. She’d asked for one anyway.”

   “Great! Smile!”

 

   Ben makes an uncomfortable attempt but glances down at Rey when she leans into him and threads her fingers around his behind their backs. 

 

   “Aww,” Zorri says lowering the camera. “That was a great one! I’ll send that one to Leia.”

   “Great,” Rey says with a hint of exasperation. “Can we go now?”

   “Yes.” 

 

   Zorri leans in to kiss Rey on the cheek but as soon as she pulls away Rey is pulling him quickly down the stairs and toward the Jeep. 

 

~ 

 

   Amylin raises her eyebrows as she steps into the charmingly decorated barn and finds dozens of students either sitting and looking at their phones or standing awkwardly next to one another. 

 

   “Evening Ms. Holdo. You’re looking lovely in lavender this evening.”

   Rolling her eyes, Amylin gives Poe an amused smile. “Evening Dameron.” Surveying the room once more, she asks, “How come no one’s dancing?”

   “No clue. I tried getting Kaydel to go out there with me but she didn’t want to be the only couple.”

   “Do these kids even know how to dance?” she snarks, getting a laugh out of the young man. 

   “That is a valid question. The music’s been pretty lame. Maybe something else,” he mumbles as he moves towards the DJ table. 

   “Nothing too inappropriate, Dameron!” 

 

~ 

   Rey’s pretty sure she looks ridiculous running across the field with her dress bunched up in her hand but she could care less. She fought for this and she’ll enjoy it. Though, as they slow to a walk entering the barn, her glee dips slightly at the sight of no one seeming to enjoy themselves. 

 

   Spotting Poe standing next to Snap, Rey trots over and asks, “What’s going on? No one’s dancing.” 

   “Don’t know,” Snap replies. “Poe’s having me change up the playlist. Liven it up a bit.”

   Poe shrugs as if to say ‘Why not?’. 

   Rey bites at her lip for a moment before remembering her lipstick. “Snap, can I see your laptop?”

   “Sure.” 

   

   Rey signs into her iTunes account and brings up the playlist she’d made as a just in case. Clicking on the first slow song, Rey turns the computer back to him and quickly leads Ben out onto the floor. 

 

_“Your eyes, so crystal green”_

_“Sour apple baby, but you taste so sweet”_

 

   Stopping in the middle of the dance floor, Rey turns to face Ben and begins to sway as his hands wrap around her waist. 

 

_“You got hips like Jagger and two left feet”_

_“And I wonder if you'd like to meet”_  

 

   Ben shifts so as to glance around. “They’re still not dancing.” 

 

_“Your voice is velvet through a telephone”_

 

   “Give them time. But don’t worry about them. Just imagine that we’re alone, dancing together in one of our Secret Spots.” 

 

_“You can come to mine”_

 

   She watches as he gives her one of his rare tender smiles and holds her more comfortably, allowing them both to enjoy the moment.

 

_“But both my roommates are home”_

_“Think I know a bar”_

_“Where they would leave us alone”_

_“And I wonder if you'd take it slow”_

_“Oh, we're dancing in my living room”_

_“And up come my fists”_

_‘And I say, "I'm only playing"_

_“But the truth is this”_

_“That I've never seen a mouth”_

_“That I would kill to kiss”_

_“And I'm terrified, but I can't resist”_

_“And I say”_

 

   Resting her head against Ben’s chest, Rey smiles as she sees several of their classmates up and dancing around them. “Told you,” she whispers.

 

_“Beautiful stranger”_

_“Here you are in my arms and I know”_

_“That beautiful strangers”_

_“Only come along to do me wrong”_

_“And I hope, beautiful stranger”_

_“Here you are in my arms”_

_“But I think it's finally”_

_“Finally, finally, finally, finally safe”_

_“For me to fall”_

 

~

 

   “Are you planning on staying out here all night?” Chewie asks him as he makes his way through the field. 

   Luke can’t help but chuckle. “No. ...I just…”

 

   They both stand there silently looking off toward the barn.

 

   “You know, you did a good thing letting them have this dance.”

   “Think so? I’m still not sure about it.”

   “If Han were here he would ask what took so long.” 

   “If Han were here… Well, I guess the ban never would have happened if Han were here.”

   “Mmm. But he is, in a way.” 

 

   Luke looks over at the old man and watches as he scratches his beard. 

 

   “His boy in there is a lot like him. Troublesome, cocky, but good-hearted. ...He told me he didn’t want the ‘Falcon’ but you could see it in his eyes that being back in its seats meant something to him. He would have made a good pilot.” 

 

   Luke lets out a small sigh as Chewie’s words sink in but the man’s paw of a hand pats his shoulder, pulling him from growing melancholy.

 

   “You’re welcome to come down and hang out with me and Amilyn.”

   “Oh, no, I… I think I’ll stay out of it. I don’t want to intrude. But I do thank you for being here and keeping an eye on them.”

   “Sure thing.” 

 

~

   “Finally. I hope my dress isn’t covered in too much dust,” Rose says as she hops off Finn’s dirt bike and tries to fluff out her dress. 

   “Sorry. If I could have afforded something nicer I would have.”

   “It’s alright. I know you would have. I’m just excited about these secret moves you promised me!”

 

   Right as Finn holds out his arm for Rose to take, Hux’s black BMW pulls into the space next to them. 

 

   “Come on,” Rose whispers. “If we walk fast enough maybe we can avoid him.”

 

   But the unease in his gut tells him Armie is only here to cause trouble. And he’s not about to let this punk ruin Rey’s party. 

 

   Both Armie and Barriss step out of the car and Finn frowns even more. Neither appears dressed to attend, so he asks, “Why are y'all here?”

   “We’re just looking for Rey,” Barriss says sweetly.

   “And Ben,” Armie adds flatly.

   Finn shakes his head. “Look, I can’t throw you out, but you best not start any fights.”

   “No promises,” Armie grins, grabbing onto Finn's lapels to pull him in for a strike.

 

~

 

   “Guys,” Poe says with slight panic. “Finn’s in trouble!”

   “What’s wrong?” Rey asks, coming to a halt. Ben moves closer to listen in over the noise. 

   “Finn and Armie are fighting in the lot.”

 

 

   With a glance at one another they run outside. It doesn’t take long to find them thanks to Rose’s loud curses. Ben runs right into Armie, knocking him off balance and giving Finn time to get to his feet. Rey watches as Barriss immediately shoves Rose out of the way and breaks into a run to tackle Ben from behind. 

 

   “Rose!” Rey yells, and hurriedly begins taking off her sandals. “Poe, help them.” 

 

   Flinging her last sandle to the side, Rey unfastens the safety pins from the dress and angrily shoves them through the bottom of the gown to hold the edges up near her side, giving her legs room. 

   Ben growls as Barriss pulls on his hair, giving Armie an opening to aim a punch in the gut. Right as she’s about to knee him in the face, Rey grabs a fist full of the girl’s long hair and pulls back as hard as she can. Barriss screams and jerks away once let go. 

 

   “You fucking bitch! You almost ripped out my hair!”

   “Then I suggest you don’t do so to others.”

   “I’ll do whatever the hell I want. And, what, you plan on saving your boyfriend barefoot and wearing a tutu?”

   “Just shut up and fight me, Barriss.”

   “Since you asked…”

 

   Lifting her fists, Rey bouncing on the balls of her feet. Barriss shuffles flatfooted. Cutting a quick glance over to Ben, who’s now holding a bloody nosed Armie against the car, Rey begins to shift around Barriss, waiting for an opening.

 

   “Come on you prancing cowar-.”

 

   Rey ignores the threat and widens her stance to allow her to swing her leg up in a spin, kicking the girl in the face. Giving Barriss a moment to yell out a curse, Rey crouches, hands on the ground, and twirls her lower half twice towards her. Barriss tries to get in a swing but is knocked back by Rey’s foot. Rey stands upright and makes quick work to shift her stance before leaning in for another kick. Barriss grabs her leg but Rey hooks her toes behind the girl’s neck and dropped to the ground, pulling Barriss down with her. They both struggled on the ground; Rey trying her best to keep hold of her with her legs. Rey yelps as she feels Barriss bit her leg. She shifts to give herself an opening to land a punch at Barriss's face then scrambles away. 

   Taking a moment to catch her breath, Rey begins to dance and shift towards Barriss again. Barriss sloppily tries to land a kick but Rey grabs hold and forces her to bend it. With a growl, Rey pushes forward and brings up her other leg to knee Barriss in the stomach then quickly places her into a headlock, punching her once more for good measure before letting go. 

 

   “Now,” Rey pants. “Unless you want more, I suggest you both get in the car and leave. I’m sure Chewie would love to press trespassing charges.” 

 

   When neither one of them said anything Ben opens the driverside door and shoves Armie inside it. 

 

   “Well?” Rey asks Barriss. 

 

   Tenderly, Barriss touches her nose and hisses as she moves to climb into the car.

 

   As they watch the car make its way back towards the dirt road, Rose slams into Rey’s arm. “Oh my God! That. Was. Amazing. What was that?” 

   “You’re telling me you knew Capoeira this whole time?” Poe askes in disbelief. 

   “Cappa-wha?”

   “Think Kung-Fu dancing,” Poe explains

   “That sounds awesome!” 

   “I only know a little,” Rey says as she tries to make her way over to Finn. “You alright?”

   “Yeah, I’m alright, thanks to you two. I swear Rey, I wasn’t trying to pick a fight. I-”

   “I know. They were-” But before she can finish her sentence Ben’s hand reaches for her face and turns her so that his mouth can crash against hers. It takes her by surprise but quickly she melts into it. “You…okay?” she asks a little breathlessly when he finally let's go. 

   “Yeah,” he sighs with a smile.

 

   At the sound of Finn’s uncomfortable cough, Rey steps back and begins to unpin Zorri’s dress. 

 

   “So,” Poe asks. “Shall we go back in and have less fun?” 

   “What?” Rey asks, sounding slightly offended. “No! This party just got started.”

 

~

 

   Walking back into the barn, Rey heads over to Snap, whispers a request, and as the opening techno beats and guitar sounds of Inhaler ring through the speakers she switches off the main lights and turns on the strobes. Several of the students woop in excitement.

 

   “Let’s dance!” she yells as she runs out onto the dance floor.

 

 

_“On this rainy day”_

_“I beg for your hand in marriage”_

_“I feel it's been a pleasure”_

_“To bathe in my own discomfort”_

_“When I'm on my knees”_

_“And I feel a little spontaneous”_

_“Honey I've lost the ring”_

_“But I want you to know it's on purpose”_

 

_“Like it's your last night”_

_“Move on”_

_“In the last line”_

_“So long”_

_“If you go outside”_

_“Move on”_

_“In the last line”_

_“Move on, come on”_

 

_“I have made mistakes”_

_“But I'd rather them said than spoken”_

_“Sad, serious things”_

_“Never become unbroken”_

_“Like it's your last night”_

_“Move on”_

_“In the last line”_

_“So long”_

_“If you go outside”_

_“Move on”_

_“In the last line”_

_“Move on, come on, uh uh”_

 

_“Yeah, you have to move on”_

_“Gotta leave it all behind, you gotta stay down”_

_“'Cause we know we're gonna die, this is real life”_

_“Right between the eyes, now we don't run”_

_“But we're running out of time”_

_“Oh, we have to move on”_

_“Leave it on the line, you gotta stay down”_

_“'Cause we know we're gonna die, we have to move on”_

_“Leave it all behind”_

_“You gotta take it, take it, take it”_

 

_“It's your last night”_

_“We have to move on”_

_“In the last line”_

_“Only so long”_

_“If you go outside”_

_“You better move on”_

_“We have to move on”_

_“You gotta to move on”_

 

_“Oh, we have to move on”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all my regular and new readers for taking the time to read this fic. And a thank you to those who share it with others. I hope you got some enjoyment out of it. 
> 
> Songs inspired by and featured in this story are:  
> \- "Acrobat" by U2  
> \- "The Little Things That Give You Away" by U2  
> \- "My Honest Face" by Inhaler  
> \- "We Have To Move On" by Inhaler  
> \- "Voodoo" by Godsmack  
> \- "Old Town Road" (feat. Billy Ray Cyrus) by Lil Nas X & Billy Ray Cyrus  
> \- "Driven To Tears" by The Police  
> \- "White Wedding" by Billy Idol  
> \- "Dancing with Myself" by Billy Idol, Generation X  
> \- "Young & Crazy" by Frankie Ballard  
> \- "You Look Good" by Lady Antebellum  
> \- "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure  
> \- "Let's Dance" by David Bowie  
> \- "The Politics of Dancing" by Re-Flex  
> \- "Like a Prayer" by Madonna  
> \- "Nobody Else" by James Cole  
> \- "Sea of Stars" by Michael Logozar  
> \- "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron  
> \- "Get Lucky" (feat. Pharrell Williams & Nile Rodgers) by Daft Punk & Pharrell Williams  
> \- "Black Gold" by Editors  
> \- "Time of our Lives" by Christian French  
> \- "Never Going Back Again" by Fleetwood Mac  
> \- "Turn" by The Wombats  
> \- "Finally//Beautiful Stranger" by Halsey
> 
>  
> 
> ...And yes, they both get to move to New York :)


End file.
